Love

By single again - 06/09/2013 00:29 - United States - Chico

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 145

You deserved it 5 308

Help yourself

By IGOTIT - 05/09/2013 07:24 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying, "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 520

You deserved it 3 586

By Misaki18 - 03/09/2013 17:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 651

You deserved it 6 239

Misaki18 tells us more.

Misaki18 17

Wednesday 4 September 2013 7:28

Yeah he thinks he's better than me , I feel like a Cinderella after midnight while he's the prince. He's always bragging about how good looking, smart, and charismatic he is and now it's worse. -_-

By zephyrgk - 02/09/2013 01:15 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 814

You deserved it 3 119

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 20:52 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, I had an asthma attack while in bed with my boyfriend. He interrupted my desperate coughing only to tell me to shut up. He then rolled over to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 952

You deserved it 4 022

Grief is weird

By Anonymous - 31/08/2013 16:12 - United States - Modesto

Today, my boyfriend's freshly-repainted car got keyed. He's literally more of an inconsolable wreck now than he was when his own mother passed away last year. When I tried hinting that he was overreacting, he told me to go to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 424

You deserved it 9 535

Hicks

By >_< - 30/08/2013 22:56 - United States - Richmond

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 661

You deserved it 6 337

You what now?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 16:14 - United States - Redmond

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 197

You deserved it 3 290

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 00:48 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 869

You deserved it 7 342

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 18:12 - United States - Mount Clemens

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 829

You deserved it 6 561

By sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 189

You deserved it 3 822

First!

By marryinghimanyway - 29/08/2013 02:21 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 150

You deserved it 2 946

Family dinner [gone racist]

By Thanks everyone - 28/08/2013 22:35 - Australia - Gaythorne

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 167

You deserved it 5 081

By still together - 28/08/2013 17:47 - United States - Keansburg

Today, my sister announced that she and her boyfriend are getting married. Her boyfriend is my husband. We're not even legally divorced yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 144

You deserved it 4 370

By the other man - 28/08/2013 03:11 - United States - Fort Smith

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 054

You deserved it 3 926

Brain fog

By dhskkf - 28/08/2013 00:23 - United States

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 700

You deserved it 7 376

By Suunflower_14 - 26/08/2013 21:18 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 594

You deserved it 3 081

Suunflower_14 tells us more.

Suunflower_14 8

Wednesday 28 August 2013 2:20

Just wanted to confirm some questions here. I'm gonna be getting a restraining order here soon. He still tries to talk me at work (we work at the same coffee shop, what a coincidence) and I do my best to ignore him. He creeps me out actually very much so and he constantly is bugging me. The guy is weird, but in a way I feel bad for him because he's always been an outcast and doesn't really understand how to have friends. Anyways, I should be starting my college classes soon too so I can focus on school and not so much... Him.. Too bad he's probably a kidnapper. Thanks for the... lovely comments guys.

Thanks

By Miami6and3 - 26/08/2013 18:22 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 509

You deserved it 5 319

Work husband

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 15:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 426

You deserved it 14 993

Cruel

By scorned_jacketless_lady - 26/08/2013 04:52 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after spending the weekend together, my ex turned nasty. I finally had the balls to tell him what a cruel asshole I think he is and really hit him where it hurts. I felt very empowered and strong. That is, until I realized I left my favourite and rather expensive jacket in his apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 440

You deserved it 16 615

Thanks babe

By Anonymous - 25/08/2013 23:30 - United States - Mission

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 659

You deserved it 4 988

By justash12 - 25/08/2013 09:13 - United States - Kearny

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 819

You deserved it 3 952

justash12 tells us more.

justash12 10

Wednesday 28 August 2013 20:10

OP here following up with some details! I can not get the image of him crouching in front of the tent and taking a shit out of my head! Yes, it was a shitty situation. No, I haven't dumped him. Shoes were on! We were at a public campground, down the shore. The bathrooms have toilets, showers, sinks, and TP.