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Broke girl

By Embarassed - 20/05/2026 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, at brunch, my friend asked if anyone wanted to split the bill. I pointed out that I’d only ordered coffee while everyone else got cocktails and meals. Suddenly I was “the cheap friend,” and somehow defending my $4 coffee turned into a group discussion about generosity, capitalism, and personal values. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 59

Congratulations, you played yourself

By Danny - 22/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized the only person who’s ever loved me was an old friend. She was an amazing girl, she was there for me at my highs and lows, but I didn’t find her attractive, so I turned her down. She has since then moved on and gotten married, while I’m still getting played left and right by women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 611

Risky road

By Gimme money - 24/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, desperate for money, I stepped out in front of a car, hoping to get a hefty bribe not to take the driver to court. He slammed on his brakes and barely tapped me. When I fell onto his hood and started screaming, a passerby said, "That's the fakest scam attempt I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 087

Abandoned

By Sickinbed - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I saw that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 435

You deserved it 3 725

Strange encounter

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 12:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I finished a very difficult order and brought it to a client's house. He greeted me at the door in his underwear, and thanked me by kissing me. Now his whole neighbourhood probably thinks we're gay, even though I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 87

Wouldn't you?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son (17) lied about not being able to get the time off from his job for our family vacation and has been partying and screwing his girlfriend while we're thousands of miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 492

BYOKA

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m so embarrassed I can barely believe it: I was out on a date and he asked the waitress to bring a pitcher of water and extra sugar packets. He took two Kool-Aid packets from his pocket and mixed it up right there at the table, proudly stating he didn’t need to pay for drinks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 94

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 880

Cough up

By Elastic Heart - 15/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I got my hair done. I wasn’t expecting a bayalage/blowdry/gloss package to cost $350. I only brought $100. I don’t get paid until next Friday, so I asked the salon lady if I could give her the rest then. She refused and said she either gives me a bob cut or calls the cops. I now look like Edna on crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 521

No contest

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm sick of my wife’s attitude. Apparently, when she has the kids by herself it’s "parenting", but when I have the kids it’s “babysitting” or “helping out” or my new favourite “the least you can do, you lazy asshole.” When added up, I parent the kids by myself more hours than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 72

Do not attempt this at home

By Poopy - 02/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 479

Dire straits

By Sandy - 09/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my ex to ask if he could help with bills and buying some nice things for my son. He said, "Look, I'm not going to keep doing husband and father shit for a woman who won't marry me and a kid who isn't mine. Go call his dad." His dad is a deadbeat. He knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 360

Like father, like son

By I'm dad - 26/05/2026 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 433

Don't rock the boat

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of admitting to my husband that he was too perfect with the way he's always helping with cooking, cleaning and everything, and that it was starting to make me feel a little useless. He got mad and has now turned into the textbook definition of a lazy slob. I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 769

Let me down gently

By ShotDown - 04/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 760

Cuckoo

By Fuck them both - 26/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, my mom gave me thirty days notice to find an apartment and move out. Why? She's dating my former best friend and wants to move him in, but he won't do it until I'm gone because it would be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 71

Torture

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 749

You deserved it 1 782

Careful

By wowawesome - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 455

Extreme disorderly conduct

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 489

Winning, so much winning

By Cheated - 13/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I won a free year's supply of coffee in a contest. Turns out "a year's supply" meant 12 coupons for small coffees, one per month. The giant ceremonial check they gave me was worth more than the prize. I hope the publicity they got out of me was worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 60

What did I do wrong?

By Anonymous - 15/06/2026 09:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, after wishing my closest friend a happy birthday yesterday, he ghosted me without saying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 37

Happy family

By Blenda - 17/05/2026 20:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after my mom moved our senile grandma in with us rather than find her a care home, she wakes up screaming at least once a night, and usually screams for a good few minutes. Then this morning she started throwing plates at me because she thought I was a criminal. It's only been four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 72

Graphic design is my passion

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boss asked if anyone knew basic Photoshop, and I volunteered because I once edited memes in high school. Two hours later I was sweating through my shirt trying to remove a reflection from a company head shot while my coworkers slowly realized I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 366

Coming or going

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Rowlett

Today, my job transfer was canceled literally as we were getting in the U-Haul. While my kids celebrate that they don't have to leave their friends and everything, my wife and I are fighting like cats and dogs over the huge mess this shit created. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 58

This is us

By Anonymous - 23/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, CPS came to my door because they found out that I didn't report it when my sister abandoned her kids on my doorstep. They're telling me that I'm going to have to take them down to the foster care center and go through the proper channels if I want to keep them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 84

Fine, stay there!

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my punishment for my 14 year-old troublemaker son seems to have badly backfired. My husband and I sent him to live with my strict disciplinarian father for a while, and not only has he changed, but he loves it there and refuses to come home. My dad is on his side. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 560

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about plans I've made for next week with his cousin. “What?” he says, “This is the first time I’m hearing of this!” No honey, it's actually the second time I’ve told you about it in as many days, including the exact explanation of how these plans came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 91

Bio mom situation is insane

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Perris

Today, my foster son’s adoption is once again being delayed thanks to his crackhead birth mom. Every time she gets a notice that we’re moving forward, she has some rando come forward pretending to be the bio dad, then we have to go through months of court and DNA tests. She’s done this 12 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 41

So disappointed

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today I've come to the realization that I prefer my stepson over my biological son. My stepson is an amazing kid while my biological is in prison for drugs. My ex-wife completely spoiled him rotten and everything despite all my efforts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 86

Are you kidding me?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my soon-to-be ex-husband cheated on me with a woman and got her pregnant (we are both men). What's even worse is that not many of my family are supporting me and keep making excuses for him, like maybe he wants to be a dad, or maybe he's bisexual. People are even encouraging me to stay with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 136

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 484

You deserved it 2 787

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonald's, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonald's. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 204

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 717

You deserved it 5 396

Today, it was my best friend's birthday, so we all went out for drinks. She had a little too much and needed to be picked up so I opened her phone and called "bae." That's when I found out that not only does my husband have a second phone, but he's also cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 594

You deserved it 550

Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 156

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. The local anesthesia worked on three of the four teeth. I found out about the last tooth when the dentist was mid-yank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 57