Work

Alpha moron

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, after all my years of teaching, I may have met the most ignorant sack of sentient excrement on the planet. A man came into the office demanding his son be transferred out of my class because he can’t be an "alpha" if he’s being taught by a woman (read that as "bitch"). FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 6

Public service announcement

By apaterra - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 664

You deserved it 1 568

On the scene

By fire1 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 618

You deserved it 2 363

Self-sabotage

By DumbHead - 15/08/2026 03:00 - India - Chennai

Today, I really like my job and need it for sustenance. Despite that, my brain constantly finds ways to screw up my job. Outside of work, all my friends refer to me as "The Genius" or the "brilliant one". But at work, I'm a dunce. Why brain, why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 185

Discreet

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 278

Great, just great

By never_ending_hangover - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 342

You deserved it 4 904

Job interview from hell

By Harriett - 13/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I went for a job interview. While waiting to be called in, I noticed a tiny thread hanging from my shirt. I pulled it to fix it but almost unraveled half my sleeve before the interviewer walked in. I spent 30 minutes holding my arm against my side like I was hiding evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 97

How very dare you?

By Sara - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Manassas

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 579

You deserved it 1 858

Kids…

By Courtney - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 669

You deserved it 1 330

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 11/08/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our boss announced several new training courses. For some reason, the guy next to me whispered in my ear that the only course he’s interested in is intercourse, with the boss’s daughter. The boss heard him but for some reason is convinced I said it. Suspended without pay, and possibly sacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 66

Suspicious messaging

By Yudith - 09/08/2026 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I received this weird email that mentioned our company name and an apartment number. I flagged it, saying it could be whaling. It was in fact a legitimate email, asking us if they could deliver ten pallets of stuff this morning. They just can't spell to save their life. Delivery postponed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 62

Get the message

By ryjacs - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 126

You deserved it 2 897

Come on, man

By FireReady - 07/08/2026 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, a manager isn't taking to me because I didn't give the 8-week notice period to go on Emergency Service leave for a few days during a bush fire crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 56

Clean break

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was let go from my stepmom's family business because she and my dad are getting a divorce, and she says it's too painful and awkward to have me still hired on. I can't afford a wrongful termination suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 64

Loose fit

By Anonymous - 06/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Sanford

Today, I got new thongs that were too big, but wore them anyway. It was fine until they got caught on a door handle when I held the door open with my back. The whole conference room saw the door basically give me a wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 346

Tattoo you

By Anonymous - 05/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, an obese customer wanted a tattoo on her inner thigh. I tried to be professional but after a few minutes, I could no longer stand the stench oozing from this woman’s crotch and had to turn my head and gag. She noticed and kicked up an even bigger stink than what was leaking from her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 61

Bathroom Ninja

By skittish - 04/08/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to quietly leave a public toilet at work without anyone noticing how long I'd been in there. The automatic hand dryer turned on as I walked past, making me jump so hard, I walked straight into the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 321

Love U 2

By Kellie99 - 03/08/2026 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, for some unknown reason, I called my boss "Mum" at the end of a meeting. She paused, smiled, and said, "Aww, love you too, kiddo." The rest of the team in the room lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 186

Digital blackface

By Fired - 03/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally selected an emoji with a dark skin tone to use in a Teams chat with my colleagues and supervisor. I'm white. One of them complained and now HR wants to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 102

The first day of the rest of your life (or not)

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 916

You deserved it 2 596

No good deed…

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I made a small batch of cookies and took them to work. Mostly everyone took one, but nobody said anything until I asked how they were. Someone asked what my recipe was, because it tasted like I'd forgot to add sugar. I bit into one. I had. The cookies tasted like muddy mush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 342

Time for a freakout

By Meg - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 477

You deserved it 44 161

Father figure

By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 22:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I met a truck driver at my job and he gave me some fatherly advice. The whole time I was listening, I was also thinking like, why didn't my dad stay and want to be in my life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 62

You know it when you see it

By FutureDishwasher - 29/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I'm reviewing articles for a medical journal. The stuff submitted that was partially written by AI is such utter crap, I have to take a break every 30 minutes so I don't kill myself or tell the authors they're morons. It actually makes me miss being a minimum wage dishwasher in summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 74

Cold feet

By TheaterMom - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, after two months of rehearsals, an actor in my theater company decided he was unhappy with the role I gave him, so he refuses to perform. We open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 545

You deserved it 1 018

How about…

By username - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Elkhart

Today, my father told me to "go get a job." He has been unemployed for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 277

You deserved it 3 328

Brainrot

By Cucumberboi - 28/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I was spelling out a code for a customer and I said, “Q as in Cucumber” and he immediately said, “Cucumber is spelled with a C.” The call was recorded and my boss will probably hear it one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 444

Bad first impression

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I got stung by a wasp a few hours before work. On my boob. I was in pain, so I took a bunch of Benadryl and wound up falling asleep. I woke up to my very sweet manager calling to see if I was dead. Oh, and to tell me that I'm getting a new manager. Who was trying to set up a meet and great with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 89

No dice

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Calera

Today, I interviewed with a company 5 times over the course of 7 weeks. It was going really well and although not my dream job, it would provide a step up for my family. I got the offer letter at 1 PM! As I’m reading it, I realize it’s actually addressed to the other finalist. Sent to me, not for me. Offer rescinded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 54

Harsh but fair

By Shianna - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Holden

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 329

You deserved it 13 853

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 471

You deserved it 2 846

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 508

You deserved it 3 474

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 386

You deserved it 31 603

Today, my prom date and his family came over to take pictures. His dad happens to be my mom's gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 834

You deserved it 423

Today, thanks to too many true crime podcasts and shows, my wife has lost her marbles. She now insists we use code names for our kids while out in public, so that no predators will hear their real names and follow us home to kidnap them. She’s completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 151

Today, I was gonna take my ex to a concert, but we broke up before it so instead I went with my Tinder date. When I got to the venue, my ticket was already used. My ex was in there. My date never got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 526