Hang on... how late were you that you were intending to fly to parts unknown without locking your car? It's 2026 so how old was your car that you couldn't lock it via the fob? And how suspiciously were you behaving that the TSA went as far as a rectal check? Also, it seems a little convenient that you were the victim of mistaken identity in such a specific place at such a specific time that someone who saw you found your car and managed to take a shit in it. Tl;dr - your story is full of more shit than your car.

TSA does not give rectal exams.

If TSA actually gave you a rectal exam, which I seriously doubt, file a complaint. They're not authorized to do that and someone will end up in jail behind it.