The Top

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Oh, right

By brainrot - 14/01/2026 03:00

Today, I spent an entire conversation nodding and agreeing with someone, only to realize near the end that I'd misunderstood one key detail and was agreeing with the opposite of what they meant. I laughed awkwardly and said, “Oh, I thought you meant the other thing.” They said, “I know.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 311

Time to let go

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 22:00

Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 84

Must stay productive

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 12:00

Today, I experienced my third day in a row with visual aura causing a migraine. I informed my safety and human resources departments, who both offered help. When I went to tell my supervisor, she told me that women experience this all the time and I need to learn to deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 70

No fun

By Get your kink on - 23/01/2026 03:00

Today, I asked my husband what he'd think of a threesome. He said, "The fun wouldn't be worth the stress, it's a drama bomb waiting to happen." What a bore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 232

Dumb it down

By Petra - 31/12/2025 00:00

Today, after I lectured my family at Christmas dinner about how schools are indoctrination centers, I'm now helping my kid with homework every night and realizing I don’t understand half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 742

No fun allowed

By Match my freak - 01/01/2026 20:00

Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 125

Flash meeting

By Anon office worker - 03/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to discreetly check my reflection using my phone screen during a meeting. Instead, I opened my front camera and took a selfie with the flash on. Everyone looked. I smiled like it was intentional. It was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 412

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was supposed to have my last interview for my dream job at a tech firm in Dubai. Instead, I spent my last few days in Dubai in hospital and now I am back in Denmark, on heavy antibiotics and painkillers, and two weeks sick leave away from a job I hate already. Then there's also a huge hospital bill to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 80

The first step is the hardest

By Jeff just jeff - 12/01/2026 12:00

Today, I went to the gym after months of procrastinating. I walked straight into the glass wall next to the entrance instead of the door. A guy lifting near the front desk winced in sympathy. I still worked out, but I could see my face slowly swelling in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 131

Lighting in a bottle

By Anonymous - 17/01/2026 20:00

Today, I have an amazing girlfriend. She’s smart, funny, educated, gets along with my friends and family, but she’s such a snooze in the sack, it makes me miss my psycho ex. That woman was a toxic mess of a person but she could do things that would make a porn star blush. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 221

Trapped

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized I'm in a horribly toxic marriage. My wife offered to let me sleep in, and my first thought was, "This is a trap, in thirty minutes she'll be yelling at me for being lazy." I tested it. Yup, it was a trap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 63

Get your facts straight

By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 09:00

Today, while drunk, my brother got on my computer onto my already logged in Wikipedia account and made a few bad edits. He got me reported for vandalism, sending abusive messages to other editors, and banned from editing, pending appeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 137

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 15:00

Today, I accidentally liked a coworker’s old social media photo while scrolling at 2 a.m. Panicking, I unliked it immediately, knowing full well notifications exist. The next morning, they casually asked if I was “up late.” I considered quitting my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 379

Eeeeeek!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 22:00

Today, I tried to sneak a yawn during a quiet meeting. Instead, I made a squeaking noise that sounded like a dying mouse. The meeting ground to a halt. Someone asked if I was OK. I was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 147

Duped

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that the girl I’ve been trying to get at from my job, and buying her stuff for, got caught kissing another guy at my job, who hasn’t done shit for her. But yet she says she cares about me. Actions speaker louder than words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 686

Steamy pile of mess

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 09:00

Today, I put leftovers in the microwave and pressed what I thought was “1:00.” It was actually “10:00.” I got distracted, then realized at minute eight when the smell changed from “warm food” to “bad science experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 328

Quaint and grounded

By Anonymous - 16/01/2026 03:00

Today, I broke the cheap-ass bed in a holiday cottage. All I did was lay down on the bastard, I wasn’t having sex on it and I’m not overweight, but all the supports under the mattress snapped. The owner says I need to pay, and now I don’t have a bed for the rest of my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 64

No, you go!

By Nervous - 17/01/2026 22:00

Today, I've only just got my license and waved someone through at a four-way stop because I was nervous. They waved back. We both kept waving while traffic built up behind us. Someone finally honked, and we both panicked and went at the same time. I stalled the car in the intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 393

Never the twain

By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 12:00

Today, I did a stupid thing and told my work crush that I liked her. Now, instead of living unnoticed by her, I have to live with the knowledge she doesn’t like me and only talks to me because I’m a coworker. As a bonus, she did say at least I’m not one of those quiet ones who give off SA vibes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 184

You do it

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 09:00

Today, I’m a supervisor who swore 50-hour weeks were “the minimum.” My team preferred having lives, I missed my quota, and my $10,000 bonus vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 914

Beep beep

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 22:00

Today, I took my partner’s car to fill with gas because mine was in the shop. Out of habit, I put diesel into the tank. We discovered it three hours later; the tow bill ate my weekly budget, the mechanic sighed through the repair estimate, and I spent the evening on hold with roadside help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 482

Bad start, bad end

By Sarah - 02/01/2026 00:00

Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 63

It's not just men

By WTF - 05/01/2026 15:00

Today, as we were discussing our plans for 2026, I suggested we go vegan as it's healthier and better for the planet. My husband said, "Ask me to go vegan again and I'll have divorce papers for you the next day." Why? Why are men so adamantly opposed to veganism? FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 082

Moving on fast

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 63

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 12:00

Today I booked an Airbnb for a few days and the instructions for the television were a laminated sheet saying, “It’s a tv, not a supercomputer, figure it out snowflake!” I can’t work out how to move it from Sky to Netflix; I’ve tried every possible button, menu, and setting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 128

A cute one for a change

By We have fun at least - 18/01/2026 00:00

Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 453

Fair is fair

By Loss - 21/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my deceased dad left his entire considerable estate to charity because it was "fairer" than trying to divide it evenly between his three kids. Some of our properties have been in our family since Jefferson was President. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 124

Just for a day

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 12:00

Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 73

Unfair

By ilemonade2008 - 26/12/2025 00:00

Today, the most obnoxious customer came into my job. She surprisingly scrutinized everything I did. She even mentioned I didn’t offer our store credit card (I honestly forgot due to being overwhelmed by her rude attitude). Turns out she was a secret shopper. Apparently, I failed her little tests. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 148

Seasonal depression

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 20:00

Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 145

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 093

You deserved it 227

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 625

You deserved it 3 597

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 813

You deserved it 4 279

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 489

You deserved it 27 969

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 564

You deserved it 8 306

Today, I drooled on myself during a job interview and was immediately dismissed. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 577