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Hey All. I did immediately go wash up once I confirmed that he was okay, he thought I was going to kick him out for moshing, I don't think he realized quite yet that his nose was broken, he was pretty drunk. And I am a chick, not a dude :) I get tested regularly anyway, but he and I did have a conversation after he went and cleaned himself up too. I explained that I was worried about disease and he looked positively horrified at the thought and insisted that he was clean. But I did get checked, came back all good. And I love my job, it's only part time, I only work the big shows, been doing it for a while and this is the only time this has ever happened to me. It didn't scare me off like my boss thought it would when he saw me marching off in a huff to the ladies room to clean myself up! lol

Adding annoyance to almost injury

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, while I was walking to my car, I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 797

You deserved it 2 831

Fighting talk

By dempasi - 06/05/2016 18:51 - United States - Utica

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 675

You deserved it 2 560

By ChaosFerret - 03/05/2016 20:53 - United States - Eugene

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 687

You deserved it 2 123

By jf29 - 31/01/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 647

You deserved it 46 818

Call the fuzz

By elizabeth - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 166

You deserved it 1 938

Best foot forward

By new dog - 14/09/2014 03:38 - United States - Gaithersburg

Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 425

You deserved it 3 965

By jcstpierre - 24/04/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 606

You deserved it 5 602

By chubrubber - 04/09/2016 18:57 - United States - Bronx

Today, I participated in a walk for charity. Even though I was supposed to walk 5K, I stopped after 3K because the pain from my thighs rubbing together nearly sent me to tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 062

You deserved it 2 383

By Anonymous - 15/03/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 971

You deserved it 6 221

High emissions zone

By BodyElectric - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was checking my kitten's neutering stitches when he farted so hard that a stray piece of cat shit shot out and hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 156

You deserved it 3 899

By Wonderful_0 - 23/06/2015 17:58 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 492

You deserved it 2 032

Wonderful_0 tells us more.

Wonderful_0 19

Wednesday 24 June 2015 17:16

Hi no my dog is very controlled and well behaved, and only barks to ward off danger. However, because he's just a big softie, (he's a border collie/black Labrador cross breed) all the neighbours love him, but apparently this kid loves him a little too much...