Sips unsee juice - FML

Sips unsee juice

Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

FMLPLZ - 03/01/2014 02:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

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Twerking is for special occasions

- 05/12/2025 15:00

Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML

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Jess - 30/05/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

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anonymous - 06/05/2013 18:08 - United States - Poway

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

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embarassinggg - 06/02/2013 18:57 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to, "Stop sticking your butt out!" My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

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Alexa, play "Rockit" by Herbie Hancock

Anonymous - 19/08/2011 07:13 - United States

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

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Humor bypass

#goodbyelife - 09/12/2014 00:38 - United States

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

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You OK hon?

religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML

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Hank Pecker

Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

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Not so Karate Kid

Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Monday 22 June 2020 2:14

Give her a link to a video of twerking, especially Miley Cyrus. She'll never ask you anything again!

Roxy Rousseau 11

Monday 22 June 2020 4:27

Show her a YouTube video of people twerking. She’ll either love it or hate it.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 22 June 2020 2:14

Give her a link to a video of twerking, especially Miley Cyrus. She'll never ask you anything again!

Roxy Rousseau 11

Monday 22 June 2020 4:27

Show her a YouTube video of people twerking. She’ll either love it or hate it.

Yudith 25

Monday 22 June 2020 13:06

Don't forget to film her movements when you teach her how to twerk. You know, for educational purpose.

jfigley 5

Monday 22 June 2020 22:24

Thats kinda funny. Should have just told her to look it up on YouTube

AmbrosiaFan 18

Monday 22 June 2020 23:36

How old are you? Under 18, tell dad you don't know what that is. Over 18, he can't ground you.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 29 June 2020 3:51

Tell her to Google it like a normal person.

randybryant799 20

Wednesday 8 September 2021 23:46

I don't understand why you didn't just tell her what it was? That's ridiculous.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast. I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML

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Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML

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Today, I'm in the south of France and I was trying to impress a cute date at a coffee shop by ordering in what I thought was perfect French. He gave me a weird look, and the barista looked confused. Turns out, instead of ordering a "latte," I asked for "lait," which is just milk. I sat there awkwardly, sipping my cup of cold milk while he watched. FML

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Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

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Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

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Today, my dad spent a full half hour trying to convince me that Judaism is a race. FML

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