The Top

OP again, what happened with the injury was the youngest and the second youngest decided they were going to race across our living room, and the former ran headfirst into the edge of the coffee table. Hard. Those two had walked into the kitchen while the rest of them were watching a movie at the time and I don’t think she noticed what they were doing until it was too late. He got a cut that was about an inch or so wide and looked pretty deep on his forehead. We were able to bandage it up, she got the bleeding to stop and confirmed he did not get a concussion from it but everything I frantically searched online said he was going to need stitches and all of the local urgent care centers had literally just closed 5 minutes before this happened. She took him the next morning when they left and they said he was OK, thank goodness, but a very brief lapse in supervision wasn't something to call CPS over.

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 786

You deserved it 6 024

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 994

You deserved it 58 504

Plumbing issues

By thirddegreeburned - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Monroe

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 546

You deserved it 2 684

Windy city

By Anonymous - 11/08/2016 00:24 - United States

Today, on my way to a big convention in Chicago, I found out that when my friend said, "I live in Chicago," they really meant, "I live an hour and a half outside of Chicago." Hello traffic and hours of daily driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 663

You deserved it 1 788

By Anonymous - 11/07/2015 06:13 - Australia

Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 210

You deserved it 37 396

Look at that

By That escalated quickly - 24/06/2015 19:45 - United States - Ocean City

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 4 300

By badhair - 13/09/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 127

You deserved it 6 242

By Chaznuts - 08/09/2009 06:22 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind double date. My date was drunk before I got there. He kept getting my name wrong, and ended up spilling a glass of red wine down the front of my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 556

You deserved it 5 205

By Basically_ - 11/05/2015 21:24 - United States - Charleroi

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 4 708

Basically_ tells us more.

Basically_ 6

Tuesday 12 May 2015 20:52

OP here! Maybe I should have specified that the medication causes mild confusion, as in, maybe I forget where a specific resident keeps their towels. Alzheimer's residents can get very upset if everything is not done in a specific way. I would never go to work if I thought I could not do my job!

By lance - 12/03/2010 12:10 - Canada

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 322

You deserved it 2 493