Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 690

You deserved it 7 334

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Same thing different taste

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 090

You deserved it 5 352

Alas, poor Donatello

By randomsamm - 17/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 228

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 799

You deserved it 2 895

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 580

You deserved it 9 493

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 056

You deserved it 2 100

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 381

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 811

You deserved it 5 893

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 987

You deserved it 4 815

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 703

You deserved it 6 107

What is it, sweetie?

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 596

You deserved it 4 360

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

ASUdec 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 10:54

Not if you don't feed it. Or accidently drop him into boiling water and he somehow came out as your dinner.

Asdas_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 11:53

I heard turtle soup is delicious.

Kutsa 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 13:07

Why is everyone here so hateful against animals? Killing the turtle or torturing it is definitely not acceptable. You should just give it back to her, if she wanted you to buy it, she should be willing to take care of it too.

Jord111222333 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 14:08

Give it to an elementary; they love class pets. Besides, turtles have siminella!

happylittleman 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 2:05

Salmonella. Learn to spell.

Cittenscollar 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 9:58

Yeah, give it to an elementary school so it can be neglected! Class pets live the saddest lives.

thuryn 2

Tuesday 16 June 2009 14:10

Turtle. Soup. Or, for the particularly evil: Joint. Custody.

00754chan 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 14:30

It won't live for the expected 30 years if you kill it. or practically kill it, don't give it heat/light, don't feed it, etc.

Tmccray 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 14:33

#17 I agree Take the "Lector" way out..OWNED!

anathemablack 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 14:43

I'm right there with you. I got my now ex-wife a cat, and guess who's stuck with it... Word of advice: Never buy anybody a pet unless you know you're stuck with them for the rest of your life.

Cheesegrater 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 14:45

Turtle for shooting

theblondeglory 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 15:15

I got a turtle with my boyfriend too without knowing it would live to be 35 (or so) years old. It now has a huge tank, and I have probably spent upwards of $1,500 on all of the tank equipment and food and stuff. Although we bought it "together" I generally have to do everything for it and if we ever broke up the turtle would be mine. Although a lot of people like turtles, and you could give it away to someone who would actually appreciate it- or try to get your ex to take it. Just don't hurt Andre... btw "releasing him into the wild" is hurting him...