Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 690

You deserved it 7 334

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Same thing different taste

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 090

You deserved it 5 352

Alas, poor Donatello

By randomsamm - 17/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 228

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 799

You deserved it 2 895

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 580

You deserved it 9 493

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 056

You deserved it 2 100

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 381

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 811

You deserved it 5 893

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 987

You deserved it 4 815

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 703

You deserved it 6 107

What is it, sweetie?

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 596

You deserved it 4 360

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

CoconutsandJelly 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 18:02

Cook some fantastic turtle stew and then serve it to her as a "gift". LOL Or give him to an animal shelter.

cheerthefkupism 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 21:43

^ don't do that. That's seriously a dick move. There are plenty of people I'm sure (& little kids) who would love a turtle as a pet. Not a crisis/FML situation. Give him away/sell him. Don't keep a pet you're going to resent when someone else could love him.

LilaBear 1

Thursday 18 June 2009 5:09

Sell it.

swagmonkey 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 21:11

Give him away. To your girlfriend if possible, but at worst to a shelter. Someone will take care of him.

inarticulate 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 21:34

On the contrary, he's probably going to live until he's 80. HAVE FUN~~ Haha, I've had two turtles in the past. I love them, but they're a pain in the ass as pets. I'd find some kind of rescue shelter or something to give him to.

sammisunshine6 0

Friday 19 June 2009 0:56

dude can i have it? i've always wanted a turtle

Oatmon 0

Friday 19 June 2009 6:39

You could train the turtle. Train it to do wonderful tricks and make YouTube videos of it and become internationally famous and tell your ex in one of your videos to suck it. Also, you should rename the turtle. Something like Scorned or Burned or MyExIsaWhore.

watchnlearn 0

Friday 19 June 2009 8:39

You could sell it to the pet store

souljahboysgay 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:37

dont give it away! Only cocksmoking losers want a turtle! like i said (91) kill it and leave the corpse at her doorstep

qwerty123456789 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 22:30

Call her up and tell her that if she doesn't take the turtle back you will call animal control and tell them she abused the turtle and was trying to hide it at your place. Try your best to make the turtle look like its been abused without actually hurting it.