Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility...

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 690

You deserved it 7 334

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Same thing different taste

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 090

You deserved it 5 352

Alas, poor Donatello

By randomsamm - 17/10/2019 04:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I bought a turtle after wanting one for years. I was told that he was scared, so he would be put in a box for me to take home. It wasn't until I got to my car that I noticed that they sold me a dead turtle. I'm not getting a refund because they claimed I killed it in less than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 228

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 799

You deserved it 2 895

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 580

You deserved it 9 493

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 056

You deserved it 2 100

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 07:30 - United States - Rockville Centre

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 381

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don't understand the bond between him and his stuffed goose. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 811

You deserved it 5 893

By hellostupid - 28/03/2013 08:19 - United States

Today, I had to convince my 20-year-old boyfriend that not only is his aquatic turtle a reptile, but that it's also cold-blooded and thus can't regulate its own temperature just by going into its shell. He still thinks I'm the stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 987

You deserved it 4 815

By Anonymous - 03/04/2013 13:32 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 703

You deserved it 6 107

What is it, sweetie?

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 596

You deserved it 4 360

arela 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:08

give it away give it away give it away now

under_estimated 0

Monday 15 June 2009 23:07

i would just give the turtle away

Comments

Gmmstr827 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 22:42

Dude make turtle soup... apparently it's really good.

penisface69 17

Sunday 21 June 2009 6:02

omg some people here are so mean. find it a good home. dont hurt it.

XoD 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 14:24

a great trick for cooking turtle, boil it live like lobster turtle tries to escape leaving you with an empty & shiny turtle shell you can leave on her doorstep or keep for yourself u can then do like a million things with the turtle from making soup to bbq ing it lol

kimzy96 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 9:49

HOW THE HELL CAN U SAY THAT!!! that is horrible!!! u have no feelings!!! turltes are the awsomest animals in the world!!!

canadadry113 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:51

If you really don't want the turtle, DO NOT KILL IT! Turtles are living animals too... you could take it to a shelter or give it away. Please don't hurt it, it never did anything to you!

AvinG 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 22:10

Find some pond and set it free, even if it dies later on, untill then it will be happy in its natural environment.

themanistheman 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 7:25

Andre can spend a lot longer than 30 years buried in your backyard...starting tonight.

themanistheman 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 7:33

Haha..do all that except actually hurt it.

Hoogyme 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 6:46

well you could make a good soup!

fizzleRAWR 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 0:19

Give it to some family if they want it, sell it, donate it to a pet store, or a wildlife centre. ...or put it in a box and put it on her front step when she's not home, so that when she gets back, sh gets it.