Love, Awkward Restaurants Suave

Suave

getmoneyab - - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Cheeky

BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

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What did you just say?

keeks_25 - - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

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ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

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I'm confused

confusedbagel - - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

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I'll leave you to it then…

scared shitless in ohio - - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

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Sticky boi

emonsteadman - - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

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Bad boy

MikeIsMaster - - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

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Night on the tiles

Anonymous - - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

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Liar liar, poop on fire

Peter - 10/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I was working at the restaurant where I wash dishes. Everyone thinks I'm a tech intern. My buddy Go Synco-ed me and so I had to capture whatever I was doing at the moment. I ran to the restroom, took my tee off and took a pic, stating, "I'm at home taking a shower." There was a guy behind me pooping. FML

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thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

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Tobunshi 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:34

Dear women, Men aren't as complicated as you think. Just say hi. Love, men.

kizz_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:08

Why would you need salt on your cheescake?

MsSippi 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 19:08

YDI, it usually takes roughly an hour to eat at a restaurant, which means you had quite awhile to come up with something better than "do you have any salt?"

AfricanChick 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 19:19

Ehh, that's not much of a FML. At all.

cookie27 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 19:22

Haha, awwwh :( I love the Cheesecake Factory. What did you order? ;) They do seem to hire some attractive employees... I think I'm gonna practice my pickup lines before I go next time :) Don't worry. As everyone's said, it's always busy, so he probably doesn't even remember you.