Love, Awkward Restaurants Suave

Suave

getmoneyab - - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Cheeky

BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

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What did you just say?

keeks_25 - - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

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ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

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I'm confused

confusedbagel - - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

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I'll leave you to it then…

scared shitless in ohio - - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

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Sticky boi

emonsteadman - - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

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Bad boy

MikeIsMaster - - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

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Night on the tiles

Anonymous - - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

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Liar liar, poop on fire

Peter - 10/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I was working at the restaurant where I wash dishes. Everyone thinks I'm a tech intern. My buddy Go Synco-ed me and so I had to capture whatever I was doing at the moment. I ran to the restroom, took my tee off and took a pic, stating, "I'm at home taking a shower." There was a guy behind me pooping. FML

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thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

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Tobunshi 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:34

Dear women, Men aren't as complicated as you think. Just say hi. Love, men.

kizz_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:08

Why would you need salt on your cheescake?

banerkblue 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:23

How is this an FML?

Mallika 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:37

this isn't funny.... at all.

getmoneyab 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 5:47

thank you 38 !

DeadMansCrack 4

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:20

....and then the salt exploded and a dragon ate your brain? if that didn't happen, this is not an FML. jeez,grow up.

jocy_805 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:48

^^^^^^^ LOL I AGREEE WITH THE FIRST GUY. YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR A DRINK OR SOMETHING

FarSide 22

Sunday 31 May 2009 6:55

Gee, how long did it take you to hone your style?

likeduhhx4 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 7:43

this one is stupid.

ohsnapelenaaa 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 8:24

This shouldn't be on FML. You'll never even see him again.

dragon_fml 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 10:47

awwh, i think that's cute. it's ok, in the moment of stress, no one is rational. i concur with #71 :) 1. compliment (how great this place is!) 2. ask questions. (is this place hiring? if so, where can i get an app or who do i speak to? etc) 3. then introduce yourself (im..so and so.) during the convo, see for yourself if he's interested or not. if yes, make the convo vague (or he might not have time to chat because he's busy) so when you're about to leave, ask for him for his # because you are in dire need of cash for college tuition or w.e and you've been hunting for a job but no luck. be polite and ask if you can text him later to continue this convo about job tips, etc. OR even better, ask for his facebook. everyone owns one these days. :) if the guy's a jerk or he shows no interest, stay optimistic. convince yourself he was gay. ._.

SenorLanky 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 12:00

I'm a waiter and it's great when a girl hits on you, it's not awkward at all. It is awkward when you're clearing a table and look back to see a girl leaning back and eyeing up your arse.