Love, Awkward Restaurants Suave

Suave

getmoneyab - - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Cheeky

BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

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What did you just say?

keeks_25 - - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

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ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

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I'm confused

confusedbagel - - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

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I'll leave you to it then…

scared shitless in ohio - - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

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Sticky boi

emonsteadman - - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

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Bad boy

MikeIsMaster - - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

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Night on the tiles

Anonymous - - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

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Liar liar, poop on fire

Peter - 10/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I was working at the restaurant where I wash dishes. Everyone thinks I'm a tech intern. My buddy Go Synco-ed me and so I had to capture whatever I was doing at the moment. I ran to the restroom, took my tee off and took a pic, stating, "I'm at home taking a shower." There was a guy behind me pooping. FML

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thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

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Tobunshi 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:34

Dear women, Men aren't as complicated as you think. Just say hi. Love, men.

kizz_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:08

Why would you need salt on your cheescake?

shaniqualee 2

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:01

Desperation...

1234five 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:13

lol.. what does "ftw" mean

indy316 0

Monday 12 December 2011 6:45

fiestas tamales warlocks. you know, the usual business.

Phoenix_GAD 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:25

i want cheesecake. ftw = for the win

TheCookieCrumb 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:28

What kind of pickup line is that?

emer_helena 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:30

Awkward he probably didn't care so much though, as a waiter i'm sure he has to talk to a lot of idiots like you

emer_helena 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:32

And #21 if you drive on a railroad track you're not stupid, you're suicidal. There's a difference there too

chimmy 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:34

this is lame, not an fml.

JarJarBinks_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:43

Geez, all the people calling her "idiot", I'm guessing you're perfect? Or you probably have just never had the guts to try to speak to a hot stranger of the opposite sex. #10's logic is amazing. Somebody uses a bad line to get your attention and hence they're creepy? Fail moar at life please. #3 needs ritalin. OP: Well I guess you know to ask for something else next time :)

ImAllFailure 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:50

Smoooth... you must really know how to charm a guy! :)

JarJarBinks_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 17:51

Geez, I suppose the people calling her an idiot have never made mistakes in their lives. Or probably have just never had the guts to speak to a hot stranger. Also, #10 wtf? If you think using a bad line makes you creepy, then FYL. And #3, no. Nothing is wrong with your life if somebody else asks you something stupid. No reverse fml. No LOLOLOL. And no you're not funny. This applies even if you're being sarcastic. OP: Hopefully you'll go one better and ask for a table or chair next time :D