Love, Awkward Restaurants Suave

Suave

getmoneyab - - Mexico

Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Cheeky

BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

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What did you just say?

keeks_25 - - Canada

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

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ISwearImNotOCD - 05/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I found out that the chefs at my work can't spell for shit. FML

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I'm confused

confusedbagel - - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

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I'll leave you to it then…

scared shitless in ohio - - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

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Sticky boi

emonsteadman - - United States - Denton

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

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Bad boy

MikeIsMaster - - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

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Night on the tiles

Anonymous - - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

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Liar liar, poop on fire

Peter - 10/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Boca Raton

Today, I was working at the restaurant where I wash dishes. Everyone thinks I'm a tech intern. My buddy Go Synco-ed me and so I had to capture whatever I was doing at the moment. I ran to the restroom, took my tee off and took a pic, stating, "I'm at home taking a shower." There was a guy behind me pooping. FML

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thank u usa - 13/12/2013 22:20 - Germany

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

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Tobunshi 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:34

Dear women, Men aren't as complicated as you think. Just say hi. Love, men.

kizz_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:08

Why would you need salt on your cheescake?

purple5 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:05

Haha, fail. You should've asked if you could get another drink or something :P

123whyme 0

Monday 25 April 2011 6:37

you should've asked him if there was any pepper right after you asked for salt.

changesinme 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 22:04

And i thought the cheese cake factory only existed only in the big bang theory

sockmonkey576 6

Thursday 23 February 2012 5:26

Dumbass.

teentee401 36

Thursday 30 October 2014 3:39

Nope, it's real. And it's delicious!

ilikesexyparties 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:06

what a line

Kyothine 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:08

Today, a girl asked me if I had any salt. It was right on the table. FML LOLOLOL REVERSE FML IM SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!1

aoife123 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 0:50

yeah, you're hilarious. :I

eehizle 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 2:57

it's ok, I think you are :)

reallytho3 11

Monday 22 August 2011 0:30

Wow... Ive never seen a comment so painful to read in my life...

Beans12345 5

Saturday 27 April 2013 4:41

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PARTY!!!!

MilkyFilmz 26

Thursday 6 June 2013 7:06

Please get off the site.

kizz_fml 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:08

Why would you need salt on your cheescake?

AtomicRebirth 11

Friday 22 July 2011 10:38

Have you ever been to the Cheesecake Factory? They do serve more than just cheesecake.

cea99 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 23:10

Agreed with 123

sastgamer 10

Wednesday 29 June 2016 20:41

They do?!

ilikesexyparties 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:09

they don't just have cheesecake, that's just their specialty

Purane2forever 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:13

clever AND original

Shock98 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:14

#3: no. just... no. OP: hahha. good line.

Shirschfield 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:15

Ha ha that makes me laugh but THIS IS NOT A FML IT WAS THE DUDE'S FML, LETS SEE IF HE POSTS IT!

Boogers 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:18

WOW he must think that you are some creeper now...

DieHard3 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 16:21

Wow. You should brush up on your flirting skills. You should have said something like " Excuse me, how bout a handsome waiter to go with my delightful cheesecake?" But you screwed up big time. LOL. Its ok. Maybe another time.