ALL FML

History matters

By student101 - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

agreeclassic 39 057

vote type 1 6 692

I'm an empath

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 15:00 - Belgium - Kasterlee

Today, after opening up to my husband about my mental struggles after a difficult birth, I shed a few tears. He left me there to go take a nap. FML

agreeclassic 535

vote type 1 104

Apocalypse snow

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I shoveled the driveway because there's enough snow to block my car. Overnight we're supposed to get six more inches of snow. It's like shoveling the driveway is a waste of time because more snow gets piled on it the next day. FML

agreeclassic 329

vote type 1 148

Why weren't we invited?

By beccaboo_96 - 18/02/2025 02:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, and since Valentine's Day when we got married at the courthouse, which was supposed to be a secret but my husband and I ended up on the news, we've been getting several calls from family. FML

agreeclassic 383

vote type 1 192

Mind melting

By Ashley - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML

agreeclassic 48 619

vote type 1 8 222

Cats pick sides

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 02:00

Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML

agreeclassic 433

vote type 1 188

A star is born

By Tito Pat - 18/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - Bacoor

Today, I discovered that my niece is making a killing with her vlog's revenue by adding a small segment. It features hidden camera footage of her eccentric uncle's daily life: from various reactions while playing a video game, to singing like a dork while working out, and being a huge nerd at everything. It's me. FML

agreeclassic 548

vote type 1 120

Mo money, mo problems

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt things were getting serious enough with my boyfriend that it was only fair to tell him I have a lot of credit card debt from helping out my ill mom before she died. He broke up with me and called me a gold digger, even though I didn’t ask him for a single penny. FML

agreeclassic 564

vote type 1 106

I think I should leave

By jonathan - 17/02/2025 20:00 - France

Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML

agreeclassic 118

vote type 1 845

Make your mind up

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, but on the way back was rear-ended, in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

agreeclassic 43 508

vote type 1 3 296

Landscaping

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML

agreeclassic 251

vote type 1 450

Slowly walking down the hall

By Rayray - 17/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was walking down the hallway at work when I saw a coworker I hadn't talked to in a while. I went for a high-five as a friendly greeting, but she didn’t see me coming and instead awkwardly grabbed my hand like she was about to hold it. We both froze for a second, and then awkwardly sighed and practically ran away. FML

agreeclassic 208

vote type 1 313

Drive thru

By ToxicFamily - 17/02/2025 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my entitled brother-in-law called me unannounced as I was having lunch and asked if I had food for him and his wife. I said, "The food I have at home will only be enough for my husband." Now I'm the villain for not cooking enough for sudden unexpected mealtime visitors. FML

agreeclassic 539

vote type 1 83

Out of control

By emilyxoxoxo - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my friend and I thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

agreeclassic 55 939

vote type 1 37 330

Dodge

By hollywoodhelman - 16/02/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like concert tickets for our favorite artist, who is usually never in our town, for her birthday. She said, “No thanks, I have to work that day.” She works Monday-Friday. The concert is on Saturday. When I mentioned this, she asked me, “So, what did you think of the Super Bowl halftime show?” FML

agreeclassic 434

vote type 1 245

New model

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, the man I've been with for ten years left me for a coworker he's known for three months. FML

agreeclassic 552

vote type 1 84

Karen in seat 14A

By Dammit - 16/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML

agreeclassic 186

vote type 1 464

Freak out

By LaurenB - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Epping

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

agreeclassic 36 852

vote type 1 5 439

Background noise

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 15:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was feeling lonely, so I turned on my Roomba for some "company." Five minutes in, it got stuck under the couch and started crying for help. Now I’m comforting an appliance because I feel bad for mistreating it. I need therapy. FML

agreeclassic 267

vote type 1 376

Carry that weight

By Sally - 16/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by jumping on his back for a piggyback ride. He wasn’t expecting it. We both ended up on the floor, and I owe him a new pair of glasses. FML

agreeclassic 81

vote type 1 731

Late entry for worst Valentine's Day 2025

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 04:00 - Canada - Eastern Passage

Today, it's Valentine's Day. I wanted to set the mood by decorating. I guess the projectile vomit I've been spewing all morning will have to do. FML

agreeclassic 382

vote type 1 72

Sad sad sad

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

agreeclassic 29 455

vote type 1 8 094

The great escape

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 229

vote type 1 318

Never go back

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 07:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I'm contemplating messaging my ex. It's been 5 months since I quietly moved on after he started ignoring me, or telling me that he was actually planning a date by asking me if a shirt looked good on him. It did look good on him and he's probably moved on too, while I've spent the last 5 months thinking about him. FML

agreeclassic 165

vote type 1 475

Classic power move

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my sibling. I slammed the front door behind me, only to realize my hoodie string was stuck in it. I had to awkwardly knock and ask to be let back in. FML

agreeclassic 120

vote type 1 442

Nervous Nelly

By Anonyme - 15/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and, trying to sound confident, I shook the interviewer’s hand and said, "Nice to meet me." I didn’t get the job. FML

agreeclassic 334

vote type 1 204

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - this FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

agreeclassic 2 419

vote type 1 439

Sacrifice

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Gainesville

Today, it's Valentine’s Day and the woman for whom I gave up my traveling $100,000 day job, and two luxurious vehicles for a trailer and a dog, now says she doesn’t want to get married because I have to work a POS job. FML

agreeclassic 188

vote type 1 642

Losing my mind

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my smartphone, all while still holding my smartphone. FML

agreeclassic 124

vote type 1 385

No chemistry

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, It's Valentine's Day. I'm single and in college, where everyone is posting their S.O.s and going on dates. I'm intensely introverted and shy, and I have a crush but I'm way too scared to ever tell him, and I'm going to spend my evening alone studying organic chemistry. Honestly, I just feel nerdy and lonely. FML

agreeclassic 402

vote type 1 178

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML

agreeclassic 26 403

vote type 1 3 467

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

agreeclassic 8 161

vote type 1 28 395

Today, my overly religious fucknut of a cousin called me, ranting about my daughter trying to corrupt hers. They were chatting on a kids' messenger app when my 5-year-old sent her 7-year-old a Pokémon sticker. Apparently, Pokémon in satanic and we ought to know better. Now she won’t let them talk to us. FML

agreeclassic 1 893

vote type 1 178

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

agreeclassic 693

vote type 1 2 662

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

agreeclassic 10 641

vote type 1 74 818

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

agreeclassic 23 666

vote type 1 5 524