ALL FML

You get what you paid for

By María González - 19/05/2023 03:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, while I was at work as a receptionist in a hotel in Spain, an entitled woman was pissed because her reservation didn't have breakfast included. I'd offered her three times the option to add it. She declined because she had to pay for it. She was pissed that she had to pay to include the breakfast in her reservation. FML

agreeclassic 751

vote type 1 102

Nice guys

By Yourlossbech - 19/05/2023 00:01

Today, the woman who turned me down would rather date a bum who smokes weed all day and works at Panera Bread. I have 3 college degrees, a respectable career, and I’m drug free. No matter how much I point this out, she gets butthurt, and has now felt the need to block my social media. FML

agreeclassic 288

vote type 1 2 537

Oddly specific

By mr. e - 18/05/2023 22:00

Today, I discovered that at the age of 24, I would actually rather break a toe than eat a food I don’t like. FML

agreeclassic 229

vote type 1 686

Undervalued

By burnuptowndow - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, we got a new boss. This would have been great if he knew how to do his job. I've spent the last week training a guy who hits on co-workers and gets paid twice as much as me. FML

agreeclassic 4 274

vote type 1 306

Targeted strike

By Anonymous - 18/05/2023 18:00

Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML

agreeclassic 1 209

vote type 1 169

The invisible man

By Anonymous - 18/05/2023 15:00

Today, all I wanted after a bad week was a takeaway. We had a few houseguests, plus my wife and kids, so the order was on the large side. When it came, the order was perfect, except mine. The only things they forgot were my starter, my main, my side order, and my dessert. Everything else was perfect. FML

agreeclassic 964

vote type 1 107

Clean your room

By disgusted - 18/05/2023 12:00

Today, I told my boyfriend he needed to wash his sheets more often after I discovered the same wet spot from the last time I slept over. He shrugged and said, “What’s the big deal babe? It’s your spot.” It’s been over two weeks. FML

agreeclassic 796

vote type 1 179

Old school

By Anonymous - 18/05/2023 10:00

Today, our internet is down so I told my daughter to watch a DVD instead. She looked at me dead in the face and asked what a DVD was. To think I even remember VHS tapes. Damn I’m getting old. FML

agreeclassic 707

vote type 1 155

Old Yeller

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, after a week of my new neighbor constantly yelling in his native language, I finally complained about the noise. Turns out that's just his normal talking voice. Goodbye sleep. FML

agreeclassic 15 316

vote type 1 1 249

Applause at 8

By ThisIsYourDoc - 18/05/2023 06:00 - Switzerland - Worb

Today, I work at a rural hospital where personnel is so short-staffed that we have to take double shifts without time to prepare food at home, and the place is too small to have a place to order food from. I lived off of sandwiches the entire week. FML

agreeclassic 736

vote type 1 118

Better off

By BooblessWife - 18/05/2023 03:00

Today, my husband announced he’s no longer attracted to me and wants a divorce because I got a needed double mastectomy. When I reminded him of his wedding vows, “In sickness and in health” he said that he thought that meant “the flu or something, not this shit.” FML

agreeclassic 1 433

vote type 1 132

The runs

By stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

agreeclassic 711

vote type 1 84

The economy is doing just fine, right?

By Goodbyepal - 17/05/2023 22:00

Today, I'm so poor that I had to surrender my well-loved dog to a different family so that he’ll have a good life, all while I live out of my car in the ghetto, paycheck to paycheck. My dog was also my service dog for medical alerts. FML

agreeclassic 1 147

vote type 1 129

Thanks for that

By bride2be - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

agreeclassic 31 520

vote type 1 3 493

Despair

By TeachingSucks - 17/05/2023 11:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I'm grading final projects for a junior level college class. A student finally turned in their work, after months of encouragement and coaxing. Half of it was plain wrong, the rest had so many spelling and grammatical mistakes, it appeared to be written by a drunk autocorrect program. FML

agreeclassic 719

vote type 1 123

Angus! Angus!

By lukey101 - 17/05/2023 12:00

Today, the song “Highway to Hell” played on the radio while I was driving on the highway to work, which accurately predicted how the rest of my day would pan out. FML

agreeclassic 771

vote type 1 141

Dungeons and dragons drama

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 18:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, I found out why DnD is recommended for ages 13 and up. I ran a kids' session supposed to be for ages 12-16, but a few younger ones turned up. It took them an hour and a half to kill 3 zombies, and then they wanted to go on a murder rampage through the town. I'm secretly hoping they don't turn up next week. FML

agreeclassic 567

vote type 1 302

Karma

By LOLOLOLOL - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Greensboro

Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML

agreeclassic 6 509

vote type 1 38 496

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 17/05/2023 06:00

Today, my mom tried to force me to stay home from work to babysit my sister and her “boyfriend”. I snuck out and went to work anyway, because I hate being around them. FML

agreeclassic 735

vote type 1 150

WOOF WOOF

By fuck! - 16/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbors, in my supposedly pet-free apartment complex, got a puppy. It’s a Great Dane. FML

agreeclassic 712

vote type 1 111

5 Yelp stars

By Jeff89 - 16/05/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. As the dentist was drilling, he accidentally hit a nerve and I ended up screaming in pain. The whole office heard me and now I'm too embarrassed to go back. FML

agreeclassic 758

vote type 1 137

Pipe down

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

agreeclassic 27 133

vote type 1 2 305

Right place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 16/05/2023 18:00

Today, I had an amazing date with an amazing guy, but he hadn't realized he doesn't have time for a relationship, and I don't have the emotional capacity. It's just the wrong time. FML

agreeclassic 610

vote type 1 195

Highly relatable

By Rasta Pickles - 16/05/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my boss insisted we need to "do team bonding" so the deal was we all go bowling. I couldn't give a shit if they live or die, so ended up telling them I had COVID, just so I couldn't attend. Stick me on a desert island on my own and I'm in Utopia. FML

agreeclassic 381

vote type 1 668

Slob off

By Anonymous - 16/05/2023 12:00

Today, my mother guilted me into going with her to have lunch with my eldest brother. He showed up having obviously not showered, with filthy clothes, and the stench of rotten teeth on his breath. She criticises me for every little thing, but makes excuses for him being a jobless slob for 20 years. FML

agreeclassic 852

vote type 1 97

Love is…

By Anonymous - 16/05/2023 10:00

Today, I overheard my son tell his dad that he’s in love. Without pause, my husband told him it’s temporary, it won’t last, relationships are pointless, women only cause grief, and money in the bank keeps a man warm at night better than any woman with cold feet. I’m trying not to feel insulted. FML

agreeclassic 1 013

vote type 1 263

They think it's all over… it is now

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying, "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

agreeclassic 50 049

vote type 1 3 474

OK Doomer

By Bachelor's in Navelgazing - 16/05/2023 00:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, due to the inability to preview academic fields, I'm stuck spending the rest of my life in anthropology. If I had gone into the arts, I would've had fun with my fake major, but the one I picked turned out to be worthless, not just socioeconomically, but intellectually as well. It's too late to change majors. FML

agreeclassic 237

vote type 1 874

AITA?

By mattie - 15/05/2023 21:00 - United States - Montgomery

Today, the guy I was talking to for about 3 years, started dating in December, and was super happy about it, told my friends, and he told me he loved me within the first week, has now broken up with me. All because I "said I love you too quickly." He said it first and now his friends think I'm batshit crazy. Is he a dick or am I overreacting? FML

agreeclassic 1 046

vote type 1 139

Perfect

By steakgoesmoooo - 16/05/2023 00:00

Today, I put my perfectly-broiled steak portion in the microwave to keep it from the cats while it rested. I accidentally hit "cook" instead of "timer". My perfect rare steak is now almost perfectly half-leather and half-charcoal. FML

agreeclassic 380

vote type 1 879

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

agreeclassic 39 725

vote type 1 2 772

Today, my son told me he and his ex deliberately got pregnant, despite being broken up, because she wanted a baby, he wanted sex, and she promised she wouldn’t ask him for child support. She must have had her fingers crossed because his court date is next week. Moron. FML

agreeclassic 1 027

vote type 1 275

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

agreeclassic 37 656

vote type 1 21 473

Today, I’m in India. On the airports, men and women are checked separately. The man that was checking the men’s line sent me to the other line. I had to prove that I was a man. It took more than 15minutes. FML

agreeclassic 653

vote type 1 73

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

agreeclassic 14 138

vote type 1 52 983

Today, it's been an exact month since everything went wrong with me and the girl I put 100% efforts to just talk to. My heart has never felt no heavy, and I wish I was a bit more attractive. The greatest pain that comes to your heart is when you love someone who you can never have. FML

agreeclassic 287

vote type 1 389