All the FMLs

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 614

You deserved it 405

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 104

The end of an era

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 07:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I had to quit my dream job, due to an injury I received at work over two months ago not fully healing. Not only do I really need the money, I’ll never find something I love doing so much, or a better group of coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 82

Thick ear

By why - 23/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 1 235

Boundaries

By Mom stop plz - 23/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my mom has a habit of trying to pull out what she thinks are loose hairs in my beard. My beard hairs are actually just really, really long, not falling off. She'll confidently yank one that she thinks isn't attached, causing a sharp pain until she realizes it's attached. I don't know how to make her stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 159

Taking the mickey

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, exactly 19 seconds after I logged on, my boss Zoom-called me to let me know 3 people are out sick, probably until Monday, so if I wouldn’t mind doing their work as well so we don’t fall behind, within working hours, no overtime available. He wasn’t happy when I told him no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 88

Like family!

By HELP - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 100

You deserved it 4 388

Have fun!

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 06:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I worked from home and, by coincidence, it was the day that my partner was going away for the weekend with some friends. When one of them picked her up, I noticed that the other friend's husband was going on the trip. So other husbands are invited… but not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 119

Tippi Hedren vibes

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I left for my shop in the work truck at 6 a.m. I was still in the process of waking up with my windows down, on a semi-busy street, when BAM! a bird flew in the window into the cab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 102

Kinda sus, huh?

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my wife of 8 years bumped into my ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. Despite having never met one another and no overlap in our dating, they both knew each other, but both acted like they didn’t. My ex proceeded to have an anxiety attack, and my wife played aggressive mind games with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 118

Checked out

By for fucks sake gramps - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Mililani

Today, I was at the store with my grandpa. When we were rung up, he started to pay for our myriad groceries in coins, and the guy behind us groaned. My grandpa said, "Shut your mouth," and started ranting about how stupid people are to leave paper trails for "government spooks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 776

You deserved it 2 306

The importance of insurance

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have a £350,000 mortgage on a new build house that has developed a leak. One roof survey later, it’s because all the wooden joists have massive splits in them where the screws went in. There’s nothing holding my roof together except gravity and prayer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 103

Supportive

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 15:00 - Russia

Today, I'm terminally ill, in a foreign country for treatment, and I was feeling hurt and sad inside, so I rang my parents to just talk, to feel warm and protected. My father told me on the phone with an indifferent tone, "Son, we're out for some shopping and getting groceries, Mom will call you back." They never did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 90

Amen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, apparently my bathroom breaks have perfect comedic timing. My very religious parents were praying in the living room. I quietly snuck into the bathroom that's less than ten yards from where they're at. Right as they finished praying and saying "Amen" I let off a massive fart, and my dad burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 118

My name is…

By Unpronounceable - 22/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I've gotten so used to people mispronouncing my last name, even after I correct them a gazillion times, I've lost the motivation to correct anyone on it anymore. At this point I'd probably faint from shock if someone who isn't related to me successfully pronounced it correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 112

Brave boy

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me on my 30th birthday, through text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 111

Joe Smooth move

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 524

You deserved it 38 478

Many such cases

By NeedJob pleaseeeee - 21/06/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I was sharing my screen on a company Zoom call. I inadvertently Teams messaged my colleague saying that the lady who was speaking on this video sounded annoying. Unbeknownst to me, the lady was one of the participants in the call. I forgot I was sharing my screen. They saw the conversation. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 145

Let down

By Branden10 - 21/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I decided to tell this girl I like how I feel. I surprised her with roses and chocolates for her birthday and poured my heart out to her, promising to treat her like a queen. She snorted and told me that eventually I’ll “leave her” like all the others, and to “tell that cockamamie bullshit to someone else.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 190

Priorities

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 13:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, despite being an incredible single mother to my only child, and loving him more than anyone else could, my son still completely ignored me and my attempts to hug him at his gender reveal party with his wife. Apparently she deserved a hug more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 2 125

Stay classy

By militarywife2b - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 174

You deserved it 2 236

Waiting list blues

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 15:00

Today, after two years of fighting, I finally got an appointment for my son to see an autism specialist. The appointment is in December 2026. He’ll be 11 and in high school by then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 102

Flustered

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 121

Suit yourself

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 21/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my coworker, who constantly no-shows, ranted to me about his work hours being reduced. He somehow doesn't realize that he's the problem. We're understaffed as of now, so they can't fire him, and I have to be there constantly to make up for him being a lazy ass. My days off have been few and far between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 107

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 02:00 - United States - Midland

Today, I was feeling motivated enough to try longboarding again after a long stint of being a couch potato. Not even 10 minutes into cruising down the road, my board catches on a rock. Now I've got a sprained wrist and two inches of road rash on my right arm. So much for getting a little exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 183

Crumbling

By Benn - 21/06/2024 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I ran into my ex at the supermarket. Trying to seem nonchalant, I attempted to make small talk while pushing my cart. I didn't notice that I was steering straight into a tower of canned goods until it was too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 485

New life

By jend - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went into work happy about my supervising promotion. When I arrived at work, I realized that only one person had decided to come into work today, which meant I had to clean 15 rooms, and supervise myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 853

You deserved it 3 864

Profile pictures

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 270

The tautology police

By Department of Redundancy Department - 20/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, as part of my becoming an adult, my dad taught me how to use an ATM. The irrational anger I suddenly felt when he told me to "Enter your PIN number into the ATM machine" is too much to be described here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 655

No excuse

By Anonymous - 20/06/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I posted a selfie on Instagram showing off my new haircut. However, I hadn't noticed that I'd forgot to switch back from my company's official Instagram account to my private account. The caption? "Feeling cute, might delete later." It stayed up for over an hour, and my future as a social media manager is up for debate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 722

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 829

You deserved it 76 663

Today, weeks after I paid extra for faster shipping, I received confirmation that my paperwork for overseas voting has been received. Too bad the deadline in my state was yesterday. Thanks, Postal Service, for the consistency of your failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 825

You deserved it 856

Today, I got into a fender bender on my way to an important meeting. The damage to my car was minimal, but I was so flustered that I ended up getting lost and arrived late to the meeting. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten my notes in the car and had to wing it. Needless to say, the meeting didn't go well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 181

Today, I took my daughter to the hospital for a few tests, and it turns out that she's pregnant. She has always said that she doesn't want kids, but I hoped that already being pregnant might change her mind. She called to schedule an abortion during the drive back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 780

Today, I realized that my ex has REALLY dumped me for a video game. And he will not change his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 237

You deserved it 6 043

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 468

You deserved it 7 234