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Tense

By Juan - 08/01/2026 15:00

Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 53

Tidy and neat

By WhatHaveIDone - 21/08/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, my neighbour asked me to empty and unplug their fridge while they were on a vacation. I took what I could use and threw away the rest. It looks like I also unknowingly threw away a bottle of spices that were handpicked by her uncle and handmade with love, which her son loves eating too. I feel like a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 131

Caring is sharing

By No money, honey! - 05/03/2025 16:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I got a call from the lawyer of my recently deceased neighbor, whom I once cared for. He apparently left me and his second daughter, whom he knows I had a huge crush on when we were kids, a vast amount, but we will only get it after we get married. He had severe dementia, and she's already been married for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 65

I need my own place

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 11:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was finally about to hook up with the girl I’ve been crushing on forever. My piss-drunk roommate burst through my door butt ass naked and yelled, “Party time, bitches!” Now she thinks I’m some perv that tried to rope her into a three-way. I tried to explain and apologize, but she's blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 111

Slash and burn

By Anonymous - 04/05/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I work for a public radio station and I found out our funding was slashed in the new federal budget. Meanwhile, there’s a military parade planned for the president’s birthday. I guess I’ll start podcasting from my garage then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 223

Friends with unclear benefits

By LizzoGirl - 02/06/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, the guy who friendzoned me asked me why I’ve been acting distant towards him. I told him that I refuse to give boyfriend benefits to someone who made it clear that we’re just friends any longer. He responded with, “Well, if you weren’t built like Lizzo before her weight loss, I wouldn’t have friendzoned you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 234

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 22/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I got served with a child support hearing. I've never met the woman suing and the person she’s going after has the same name as me. The court people told me not to worry, but those are famous last words and I know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 66

Party pooped

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 98

Runs in the family

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my now ex sent his mommy to come get his shit outta my house after we split. I had to physically restrain myself from choking the bitch after she said it was my fault he cheated, and got someone else pregnant, because I “should’ve paid more attention to him.” Fuck her and him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 160

Rico Suave

By eww - 12/06/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 112

Rage against the machine

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I've been working towards a management position at my IT job for 9 years. My boss quit, so I thought, "This is my chance!" Nope, our department got outsourced and now I'm interviewing for my own job on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 65

Quality real estate location

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 00:00

Today, I bought an expensive air purifier to combat potential wildfire smoke. The next day, a freak flood knocked out my power. I sat in the dark, breathing in ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 81

Power shortage

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I've worked for the power company for six years. My wife and her family still don't understand that I don't control their power bills, I can't give them a discount, and I can't answer their questions since I don't work in Billing. Every month, it's the same tired arguments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 69

Take a break

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I visited my brother and found him with his head up his wife’s shirt. Her explanation was he’d had a bad day so she was making it better. It really drove home how shit my marriage is. My wife hasn’t let me touch her in months and wouldn’t care if I’d had a bad day, even if I told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 140

It sounds funny I know, but it really is so

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 08:00

Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 99

No contact

By Newbrokehome - 06/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Pleasant Hope

Today, I'm closing on my first house. Everyone's congratulating me, but all I can think about is the impending fallout when I tell my abusive, psychotic mother she's not welcome and the family sides with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 98

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 05:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, my wife had a dream that I cheated on her with a girl from my work named Marie. She told me that she wants me to quit my job and get a new one, just to avoid that from ever actually happening. There is nobody named Marie at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 70

Where is it?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 100

Hogwatch

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 118

Tex Avery moment

By Mustanggt - 07/08/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my roommate took my car without permission while I was at work. He downshifted to pass someone, but went from 5th to 2nd gear, and practically most of the engine went straight out of the tailpipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 66

We still good?

By Anonymous - 11/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 119

Corporate stooge

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell a bald cancer patient that no, having cancer did not entitle her to a 100% discount on coffee. I felt like a douche for saying it, but I work at a well known coffee franchise and I’m not losing my job because someone wants free coffee, no matter how ill they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 91

Time to let go

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 22:00

Today, my husband is leading us into financial ruin by insisting on paying for his senior dog’s cancer treatment, but the poor thing is so old and miserable, I’m pretty sure it’s animal abuse at this point. He won’t listen to reason, our bills are all past due, and my car is about to get repossessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 83

Get on with it

By Fred - 13/10/2025 09:00

Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 79

No biggie

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a flight, a woman in a crop top reached up to get her bag from the overhead locker and her breasts ended up on top of my head for like a second. Total accident, no biggie. That was six days ago, we fly home tomorrow, and my wife hasn’t spoken a word to me since the breast thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 90

Horrific misdirection

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 14:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my brother sent me a dick pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 123

Ticket to ride

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 04/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 81

Get out of jail free card

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom was diagnosed autistic, therefore thinks we aren’t allowed to be mad at her for anything she does from here on out or things she did before. Odd, I didn’t know that beating, neglecting and humiliating your children on a near daily basis was an autistic trait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 84

First time?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 129

Get better locks

By Aww! You shouldn't have! ....REALLY! - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my friends, led by my best friend, threw me a surprise party. Bearing a cake, they all happily yelled, "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" by suddenly barging in… through the bathroom door. I was on the toilet, in the middle of taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 68

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The Top

Today, I passed out. I fell to the hardwood floor, cut my chin, and bit through my lip. Fortunately, my brother was there to help stop the bleeding and get me some water. All I had to do was wait until he finished his game of Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 634

You deserved it 1 867

Today, we got a new kitchen but in my wife’s brain it’s so perfect that she doesn’t want it ruined by anything, so no one is allowed to use it. it’s been installed for 4 days, we haven’t cooked anything, used the sink, fridge empty. I can’t even put anything on the counter in case it scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 98

Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 795

Today, I learned that my friend is selling his PlayStation 5. A few weeks ago I bought a PlayStation 5 to be able to play with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 127

Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 854

You deserved it 2 031

Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 241