The Top

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You really shouldn't have

By BB_Skylar - 11/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 336

Hero

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 15:00

Today, I saw a guy struggling with weights at the gym so I tried to help. I grabbed one side of the barbell to “steady” it and instantly realized it weighed about as much as a fridge. I dropped it, tripped over the bench, and took out a water bottle display. He just said, “Thanks, hero.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 390

A star is born

By PizzaPuff - 15/10/2025 09:00

Today, while watching the morning news, I unexpectedly saw myself! Too bad I was looking puffy at a pizza buffet, loading up my plate. I have tendinitis in my arm and wrist, and the NSAIDs hadn’t kicked in yet. At least I dressed up that day, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 100

One in hole

By Anonymous - 17/10/2025 03:00

Today, I had to sneak a ladder into a cemetery at midnight because my husband got drunk with his buddies, decided to visit his mother's grave, and in the dark he fell into a fresh grave and couldn’t climb out. Not many women can say they’ve seen their husbands climb out of the grave I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 115

Panic!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2025 12:00

Today, I tore through my apartment looking for my wallet. I was late for work, sweating, panicking, and blaming the cat. After 45 minutes, I found it. In the fridge. Next to the cheese. No explanation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 358

Dethroned short King

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was on a first date. I asked her what she brought to the table since I’m a pretty well established guy. A voice in the booth behind me yelled out, “How bout a booster seat, Smurf!” Everyone laughed so hard I got up and left. I’m 5ft3 and bitches always make it about my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 946

Nothing is real anymore

By Alice - 28/10/2025 15:00

Today, after matching on Tinder and chatting for several days, this guy asked for more photos, so I sent him some recent pics of me in the garden. He then said they were AI and told me to, "Fuck off, clanker." The pics were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 71

I'm an empath

By Anonymous - 01/11/2025 03:00

Today, my dad straight up told me I’m not allowed to be depressed because it reflects badly on him as a single parent. This was followed by a threat to confiscate my car keys if I told anyone I’m depressed, even my friends and girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 80

Cruel kids

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 20:00

Today, my 7-year-old daughter squeezed her hamster's balls. She squeezed so hard that they literally popped out. She said that her older sister (who is 14-years-old) convinced her to do it. Both girls are grounded and have their cell phones and TV taken away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 113

Bigfoot

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 15:00

Today, I went for a walk in my brand new shoes that I bought around four days ago. I've always had problems walking on my right foot and when I was younger we couldn't buy Payless shoes as they'd be torn to pieces within a month. The left shoe felt perfectly fine; the right one feels like it's already disintegrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 84

Small talk hell

By Kellie - 06/11/2025 09:00

Today, I told my boss her new haircut made her look younger. She smiled and said, “Oh, thank you!” I tried to double down on the compliment and said, “Yeah, like... 20 years ago younger!” She stopped smiling. It turns out that would’ve made her twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 508

Why so serious?

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 12:00

Today, I attended my first Zoom meeting as a junior manager. Our CEO said she was feeling dizzy, and if anyone saw her passed out later they should get her some chocolate. Thinking she was joking, I burst out laughing. My boss quickly muted us, and told me that the CEO actually has diabetes. Nobody told me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 491

Addicted to mid

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 00:00

Today, the Gen Z at the office introduced me to this book series from "#booktok." I thought why not, and i just read it. I ended up reading all three books in a week and obsessing over the series while the Gen Z didn't move past the first one. The series isn't even that good, but I'm stuck now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 329

Great start

By Harriett - 20/11/2025 15:00

Today, I made myself a perfect latte and sat down at my desk, feeling pretty good about my day so far. My cat then jumped on the desk, slipped, and kicked my mug directly into my keyboard. The cat looked me confused while coffee seeped into my laptop. It was only 9:02 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 114

Rave on

By Pain - 25/11/2025 22:00

Today, at a wild party, I cracked open a few glowsticks and drew patterns on my face and arms with the glowing liquid, then started dancing, hoping to impress some hotties. I was tearing it up until my skin started to burn, really bad. I ended up running out screaming and calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 798

Technically, he's right

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 12:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of five months gave away all the jewelry his late grandmother left him to his daughter from an old relationship. I asked in shock what he plans to give my daughter, and he replied, "Uh, you know she's not my kid, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 1 357

Tick follows tock follows tick…

By Wiseguy - 03/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have reached the point in my life where you wait to see a dentist and get your wisdom teeth ripped out. I was warned about how miserably painful this is. However, no one seems to talk about how slow the time goes by. Tomorrow's the day, and so far today has been the longest day of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 151

Tailored

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 20:00

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. Told her I saw a pretty dress I liked. She asked me who would fit in that? When I replied they have it in different sizes. She replied with, "Yeah but definitely not yours.". FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 103

All shook up

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 09:00

Today, my friend's brother is severely gorgeous. He is also off-limits because she isn't very fond of him. I also don't want her to think I'm using her to get with him because she's a newer friend and I didn't know she had a brother until I saw him, and I'd rather be her friend than his girlfriend… BUT HE'S BEAUTIFUL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 213

Let's call the whole thing off

By Foreshadowing - 10/12/2025 03:00

Today, I told a customer to “Enjoy your food” as I handed him his receipt instead of his meal. He replied, “You too.” We both froze in silence for a few seconds before he slowly took the bag and walked away in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 119

Life on the North Pole

By Late for work (at least I had an excuse) - 11/12/2025 22:00

Today, after a snowstorm, I went to start my car early in the morning for work. The door was frozen solid, so I had to jimmy it open with a screwdriver. Then, as I started to drive off, my foot slipped off the clutch and the car stalled out. The battery was too weak to start it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 80

Slander

By Some people just suck! - 15/12/2025 12:00

Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 104

Did the rescue work?

By Hero of the day - 19/12/2025 00:00

Today, I tried a heroic rescue: a toddler’s teddy stuck on a fifth-floor balcony. I borrowed a ladder, climbed while sweating, reached it, and felt my trousers rip with a sound like Velcro in a thunderstorm. Dangling there with my superhero boxers exposed, three people filmed me while jeering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 93

Not my fault!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 83

Unfair

By ilemonade2008 - 26/12/2025 00:00

Today, the most obnoxious customer came into my job. She surprisingly scrutinized everything I did. She even mentioned I didn’t offer our store credit card (I honestly forgot due to being overwhelmed by her rude attitude). Turns out she was a secret shopper. Apparently, I failed her little tests. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 145

Seasonal depression

By Anonymous - 27/12/2025 20:00

Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 144

I'm your man

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 09:00

Today, I had a fourth and final round interview for a well paying job for which I'm very qualified that I need because my own business in the same field fell off a cliff after 15 straight successful years. The woman who interviewed me hated me from the start and lied about my analysis on simple things in her report. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 77

Nutrition expert over here

By Dog - 02/01/2026 03:00

Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 301

Gimme a human

By I HATE THESE BOTS - 03/01/2026 22:00

Today, I spent ten minutes annoyingly arguing with a customer service chatbot, demanding to speak to a real human. When a real human finally joined, they opened with, “So... I see you’ve been yelling at my robot.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 87

Floundering off

By Awkward Nelson - 07/01/2025 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit from a party after an argument by dramatically throwing my coat over my shoulder and storming out. The coat got caught on the door handle, and I had to awkwardly untangle myself while everyone stared. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 595

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The Top

Today, I had a job interview where I was asked, "Who is your best friend?" I replied truthfully, "My cat", only to then be asked what my cat would describe as my best qualities, which didn't go far beyond, "Remembering to feed him". They weren't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 763

You deserved it 5 502

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 350

You deserved it 4 010

Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 898

You deserved it 8 011

Today, I attempted to bleach the little hairs above my lip. I had it on for about 15 seconds. Turns out that the horrible stinging that I had felt meant that it was not just working, but also eating through my skin at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 514

You deserved it 3 827

Today, I went to CVS to print out some pictures. I accidentally printed out a booty pic, tried to go behind the counter and they yelled at me, "Ma’m you’re not supposed to be behind here." Then the lady held up the picture and said, "Was this one the accident?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 1 311

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 709

You deserved it 12 076