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Tooth down

By Anonymous - 17/01/2026 00:00

Today, I yawned and broke a front tooth. Yes, you read that correctly. I did a big yawn, my jaw suddenly hurt, I felt something crack and half my tooth fell into my lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 53

What happened?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 15:00

Today, a day or two after a really close friend of mine offered for me to move in with him, he has me blocked on everything, because he cheated on his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 79

Realistic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my daughter that it’s important to marry for love. She asked if I married her dad for love, which I did. She thought about it for a second, then said, "Fuck that, I’m marrying me a rich guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 126

Protective

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 03:00

Today, my father-in-law asked why my wife had a black eye. I got as far as, “Yeah that was me, I…” before he broke my nose. I get the 'protecting his daughter' thing, but if he’d let me finish, I’d have said “was putting up a shelf she wanted, but I dropped it on her. Total accident.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 155

OK then…

By Renee - 25/01/2026 22:00

Today, I’m hard of hearing and rely partly on lip-reading. At a grocery store, the cashier asked me something I didn’t quite catch, so I smiled and nodded. Apparently, she had asked if I wanted to donate to a charity, so I ended up donating a couple of bucks to a cause I still don’t know the name of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 197

Hey chat

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 09:00

Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 91

Music nerd

By Anonymous - 01/02/2026 22:00

Today, I asked my crush what music he was into, misheard his answer because of background noise, so I spent 5 minutes enthusiastically talking about a band he'd never heard of, thinking we were bonding. When he finally stopped me and clarified, I laughed too loudly out of shame, then knocked over my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 174

Best prepared

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 12:00

Today, I called in a refill for a vital medication that I've been on since a couple of decades ago. No big deal since I called a week in advance. I then received a notification that the specific medication is out of stock at the moment, and they won't have another set ready for four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 53

Archivist

By No batteries nor WiFi needed! - 09/02/2026 00:00

Today, my dad threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn't apologize to his girlfriend, whom I don't get along with. She found the heavily used textbook I bought from a second hand bookstore, which is full of funny doodles and tons of harsh hate messages to a certain "Susan", which coincidentally is her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 101

That was quick

By chiquisamantha09 - 10/02/2026 20:00

Today, I went to a Speed Dating event because the apps just ain’t doing it for me. After a while of talking, the first guy I sat with told me, “You are way too out of shape to have high standards and expectations.” I got up and left the place in tears. This is the world of dating while plus-sized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 394

Help needed!

By HUH? - 12/02/2026 15:00

Today, my wife snapped at me for never having sex with her. Any time I try, she tells me to stop, but apparently sometimes she wants me to ignore her pleas and keep going. Sometimes she actually wants me to stop, though, and she won't tell me how to differentiate the two. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 81

Love hearts, love hurts

By Suzyy - 14/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is traveling to his terminally ill grandmother's for Valentine's Day weekend. He said he "doesn't know if she'll pass soon; gotta visit her just in case." He gave me a box of chocolate-coated strawberries to make up for it. I'm allergic to strawberries, and he has known this for the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 130

You get what you give

By Anonymous - 17/02/2026 22:00

Today, because of my wife’s inability to keep her nasty opinions to herself, the last of our children told us via text that they won’t be visiting anymore, or letting us see our grandchildren. So now it’s just me and her, financially trapped in this marriage until one of us dies of old age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 146

Love is…

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 15:00

Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 152

Panic

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 09:00

Today, I was supposed to be on my way to Hawaii for a long-planned family vacation, but I had an anxiety attack that I couldn't explain. Now I'm lying in bed and crying, and my phone is blowing up with texts and calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 201

My little boy is all grown up

By Jax - 26/02/2026 22:00

Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 46

Ridiculous

By Anonymous - 02/03/2026 12:00

Today, I was detained for 20 minutes by security for stealing shopping bags. I didn’t, I used my own bags-for-life, so he thought I didn’t pay for them. They were from a different shop entirely. Twenty fricking minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 54

Mistaken identity

By Crushed - 09/03/2026 15:00

Today, I saw a man at the gym glancing at me. I went over and said, "Are you ogling me?" kind of low key flirtatiously. He said, "No, I'm working out. Don't flatter yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 633

Very irritable bowel syndrome

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 09:00

Today my wife made something from ultra salty fish she bought, and it was horrible. It set off my sensitive bowels within minutes. Now 15 hours later I’ve just had my first dry fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 73

Take the W

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 03:00

Today, I won my custody battle and I get to keep my deceased husband's kids. I know I should be happy but I'm getting so much hate from my former in-laws for taking the kids away from their "real family", even though they wanted to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 65

Sorry about your dick, bro

By footinmouth - 14/03/2026 22:00

Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 452

Hangry

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 12:00

Today, I realized that my diet has gone completely bust. If I try to limit the amount of food that I eat, my stomach is growling and keeping me up at night, when my sugar isn't crashing and turning me into a food vacuum cleaner eating everything in sight. I'm not starving myself, I'm trying to control my portions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 87

Insurance scam

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that they're suing my best friend's parents because I broke my leg at their house. I've been begging and pleading and fighting with them not to but they won't listen. They keep saying that it's not personal and it's just a legal thing. Happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 28

Stolen valor

By ImpsonFamily - 26/03/2025 08:00 - Australia

Today, a manager was credited for coming up with a safety idea. This is the same idea I brought up weeks prior and was told it was silly by said manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 73

My big day

By ReadyFreddy - 29/03/2025 04:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I was starting a new job. I got up early, showered, did my hair, put on my uniform, had a good cry because I was scared/excited that I was starting a future where I will be financially free for the first time. Then my boss texted me because one of his back of house employees is sick and he can’t train me until tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 91

A bit rich

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it's been months that my mom has owed me $174, and every time I ask she tells me she's too poor to pay me back. Girly bought an entire 180k dollar farm with my grandparents the day after I asked (also the money was used for gas, and she guilt tripped me into giving it to her). FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 106

I'll get my coat

By Rossi - 17/04/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, the guy I like shared a repost on his Instagram story that said, “No message is a message. Take the hint and move on.” He’d left my last message to him on “Seen” for 4 days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 358

Buzzed

By Who needs sleep - 19/04/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 75

Kick it

By lukey101 - 25/04/2025 06:00 - Australia

Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 318

Arnold Layne

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 106

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 097

You deserved it 2 853

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 047

You deserved it 70 264

Today, my teeth feel dirty. Just go brush them, right? Actually, I just did. Thoroughly and meticulously, for several minutes, until both my arm and my gums hurt. Yep, still feel dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 240

Today, my boyfriend looked so unhappy in a photo we took that I downloaded an editing app, and edited the photo to make it look like he was smiling before posting it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 937

Today, after 25 years of marriage and 2 children, I was served with divorce papers. It turns out my 51 year old, soon to be ex, has been having an affair with the 24 year old tutor I hired to help our daughter bring her grades up. They are in love and want to start a new family together as soon as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 277

You deserved it 2 881

Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 698

You deserved it 333