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Noise pollution

By BRUH imma cut you - 15/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 976

Dial it back

By Only me - 19/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was trying to chat up a girl by showing off my new smartwatch. I proudly said, “It even reads my heartbeat!” It was 132 bpm. She looked at me and asked, “Are you OK? Or just incredibly out of shape from talking to me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 479

Tracking

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I bought a GPS collar for my adventurous cat. After setting it up and being very curious about what he gets up to when I'm not home, I opened the app and saw his current location marked as “Inside your house.” All day. Groundbreaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 403

College life

By rimenrezon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 341

You deserved it 2 537

This is the end

By MexyBoy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 274

You deserved it 6 706

M'ladies…

By Anonyme - 07/06/2025 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was at brunch when I heard a table of women laughing loudly and swearing. I went over and politely told them that their language was unattractive and unladylike. They laughed like hyenas and cussed me out until I walked back to my table. At this rate, I’ll never find a decent wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 1 603

My little friends

By Annonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 801

You deserved it 2 024

Adding insult to insult

By Ugh - 25/06/2025 20:00 - Netherlands

Today, a month after our breakup, my ex sent me a glorious butt pic. This was followed up with, "Wrong person, please delete that." I asked her for two years to send me sexy pictures, and she always refused, saying it was "too slutty" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 113

Depression?

By ToxicSelf - 27/06/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have a good job which pays 7 figures. A loving husband who adores me. Two cute kids who are way too smart. I'm also in great health. But I sulked all day and felt depressed because I got wet in the rain for 10 minutes while cycling the 11 km to my office. What's wrong with me? It's just rain but I'm crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 593

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my wife and I were having amazing make up sex after several months of painful separation. Halfway through, she screamed for me to stop, climbed off the bed, and ran into the bathroom. She spent an hour screaming and crying, then came out and emotionlessly told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 138

They don't make em as they used to

By Kylie - 22/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 145

Harness your hopes

By Debz - 24/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 95

Modern romance

By Not today Satan - 29/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé said we should get married in a Satanic temple. He's already found one he likes, and says we should get matching tattoos instead of rings. Never date a man who didn't have a rebellious period as a teenager, or it'll come out in his 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 314

House hunting

By ohboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 631

You deserved it 21 719

Time to change the will

By Ouch - 12/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, as I'm terminally ill and have less than a year to live, I told my wife that she could see other men so long as she continued to care for me until I passed. She clapped and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 103

Fresh and picky

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was excited to go to my new girlfriend’s house for dinner. To my horror, everything was out of a box or a can; Hamburger Helper, canned vegetables, boxed mashed potatoes. When I said I was hoping for something fresher, she just stared at me and asked if i know how expensive groceries are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 971

Freakout

By LoLWut?? nd Why?? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 48 200

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 00:00

Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 102

Badass

By Jim - 28/10/2025 22:00

Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1 085

Kinda impressive

By Dan the man - 08/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 140

I'm a klutz

By Im so awkward - 12/11/2025 00:00

Today, I saw a woman struggling to hold the elevator. Trying to be helpful, I jumped forward and pressed the “close doors” button, thinking it was “open doors.” The doors shut right in her face. I had to awkwardly ride up ten floors in silence with three witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 347

Keep on trucking

By Katie Rose - 17/11/2025 09:00

Today, for the second time this week, a jerk in a big truck let a big rock fly out of their uncovered back and damaged my windshield. Both times the cops refused to do anything and I can't afford to fix it as I was demoted at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 98

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 20/11/2025 22:00

Today, I did laundry at a laundromat for the first time. I then folded everything on the table, until an old man tapped my shoulder and said, “Uh, those are my socks.” I'd neatly folded his entire load of laundry. He took it back without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 385

Classic breeder moment

By Karen - 16/12/2024 10:00 - United States - Solon

Today, after losing five pounds from being sick, my first customer at work greeted me with, “Aaaahhhh, you’re expecting!” I’m not pregnant. I guess I didn’t lose my gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 132

Bad dad

By So inappropriate - 09/01/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when my husband takes our son shopping and he acts up, my husband picks him up under his arm and carries him around, instead of talking to him and trying to calm or reason with him. I'm FURIOUS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 757

Indifference

By sad - 13/01/2025 05:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I got a new haircut and style. Feeling pretty. My husband got home and is not even a little interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 169

Snappy

By Sata - 15/01/2025 00:00 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I decided to use a newer purse because my old one was ripped. When I got off the bus, the automatic back doors closed on me before I could get fully out, and my new purse got ripped too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 111

Knowledge is power

By Wow, really? - 16/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I said that I wasn't expecting someone to say salt made a food sweet. My friend then decided to explain what salt is, a flavor enhancer, and "like when it's on the rim of a Margarita." Really? We're all in college and I'm the only one who keeps their grades up. I know what the fuck salt is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 360

Doormat hazard

By Little man - 18/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was walking into my office building when I tripped over a doormat and fell flat on my face right in front of the security guard. As I tried to stand up, I kicked the door, slamming shut with a dramatic bang. I looked up to see that the entire building lobby was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 123

Born slippy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2025 09:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 355

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 758

You deserved it 4 577

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past couple months broke it off with me. She said she's tired of waiting around for me and being ignored in the mean time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so greedy as to finish my 2 degrees and work 2 jobs to pay for my school. How selfish of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 523

You deserved it 18 948

Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 765

You deserved it 1 675

Today, I was in the bus on my way home. I was reading a book, and drops of something were getting all over it. It was the man sitting next to me who was asleep and drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 144

You deserved it 2 506

Today, I tried to log into my bank account online but forgot my password. When I hit “Forgot password?” the security question asked, “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” I put it in and it said, “Incorrect.” It turns out that I've been misspelling it wrong for years and never noticed, despite my mom dying last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 367

Today, my boyfriend tried to use the “It’s my birthday” excuse to get access to my booty hole. Last time he used the “My favourite aunt died” excuse, and before that, the night of our fourth date, he used the “I’m drunk and can’t find the right hole” excuse. Take the hint, no means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 698

You deserved it 285