The Top

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Diss track

By Popscene - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 741

You deserved it 3 027

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 214

You deserved it 4 089

So sorry!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 570

Bad sign

By TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Diego

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 117

You deserved it 4 219

Superhero stuff

By jfc - 18/08/2025 00:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 228

Infested

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how my cat's flea medicine works. Instead of killing the fleas, it just makes the fleas move off of the animal. The good news is my cat no longer has fleas. The bad news is, the fleas moved into my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 660

You deserved it 4 579

Weirdo

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Napier

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 297

You deserved it 7 902

Comforting

By imaginationdarling - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 776

You deserved it 7 381

Deal with your own shit

By ToxicFamily - 12/04/2025 03:00 - Germany

Today, I have a painful abscess with a bacterial infection near my bum that makes sitting or walking difficult, and a fever too due to it. The doctor gave me sick note and told me to rest, but my husband shouted at me for taking sick off when I "only" WFH. He also expects me to do house chores the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 85

Unacceptable

By Anonymous - 01/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found sex tapes on my husband's computer of me and him. Not only have I never done a sex tape, we were doing stuff I’ve never done before. Turns out he got an AI to make them, since I don’t do that stuff for him, he thought the acceptable alternative was to make fakes to wank over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 475

Annoyed

By Cammy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was pissed off. I kicked a soccer ball into my wall, and it bounced back, hit my head, and knocked me into the wall behind me. My head hurts like hell. Even inanimate objects hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 471

You deserved it 63 824

Many such cases

By gaga - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - San Jose

Today, after spending about 5 grand on my home studio over the past year, I realized I have no musical talent whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 091

You deserved it 39 491

Fore!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 445

You deserved it 8 946

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 287

You deserved it 9 275

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 600

You deserved it 5 037

Bad grandparenting

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 371

Stealthy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while my boyfriend was sneaking out before my parents awoke, he slipped on some ice and fell on their car. The alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 428

You deserved it 30 266

Pet peeve

By MY CHIPS - 14/04/2025 07:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 106

PSA

By ColoredPencil13 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Baytown

Today, my mom made a Facebook post about me starting my period and for everyone to be nice to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 650

You deserved it 4 945

iPod Classic, 7th Gen, 160 Go, the best ever

By abdominates - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and iPod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 407

You deserved it 3 321

Gossip and tea

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 339

You deserved it 3 537

Snooping around

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 20:00

Today, I found out the heartbreaking truth of why my husband won’t have sex with me. He cheated, got an STD, and is now waiting for it to clear up before he touches me again. When I confronted him, he flipped out and wrecked the house because I invaded his privacy by going into his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 81

Rained on

By smellyhand - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 941

You deserved it 34 473

Sobering

By happy bday - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 410

You deserved it 9 527

Who's Dusty?

By DumpedPlusSizeGirl - 21/02/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, the dog pulled out a dusty, size M thong from under our bed. I wear a size 3XL, so obviously it wasn’t mine. Only my husband and I live in this house. Not only was my husband’s affair inadvertently exposed, he impassively said, “The size of it should explain why I did it in the first place. Sorry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 295

Slapped

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defence lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one's going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 5 001

Kooky

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave birth two weeks early. Everyone is telling me I should be so happy she's healthy, but all I can think is how much I did not want a Taurus baby. I wanted a Gemini baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 574

Disappointing

By Funless - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was invited to a party, but I didn't attend because my boyfriend would be disappointed with me. Instead, I spent the night with him watching movies. At the end of the night, he broke up with me because I wasn't fun enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 021

You deserved it 7 762

Mr Tickle

By tortured - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 636

You deserved it 4 668

Never enough

By crazycatlady - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 606

You deserved it 18 613

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 857

You deserved it 10 601

Today, my father was cussing loudly because he lost at a Clash Royale game. He then blamed it on me for not sending him cards, and threatened to delete me from all his social media accounts. Dad, I love you, but you're downright insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 121

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 232

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 187

Today, I was in an elevator going up to the 32nd floor when I felt the urge to let out a fart. Feeling like it was either fart now or have appendicitis, and that it would be quiet, I thought no one would notice. It wasn't silent. It was loud and proud, and the cute girl next to me started laughing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 521

Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 162