Lucky escape - FML

Lucky escape

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 12:00

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 444

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Same thing different taste

Bear with me

By bear food - 08/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 757

You deserved it 5 551

I don't know either

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got a bug bite on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 668

The call of the wild

By Anonymous - 16/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Crown Point

Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 166

Wildlife

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at a campsite, got everything set up, and went for a shower. However, when I got back, a drunken rhino of a woman had crawled into my tent, been sick, then passed out on my freshly-washed bedding. She was so fat I couldn’t even roll her. I had to sleep in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 84

Run run run!

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 20:33 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 532

You deserved it 3 659

By fingwhore - 27/07/2014 17:12 - United States - Greensboro

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 594

You deserved it 6 969

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 886

You deserved it 761

By sniper foxeh - 29/07/2018 01:30

Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 837

You deserved it 4 514

Nice friends you got there

By Schrewt - 24/01/2010 08:50 - France

Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 3 174

Like a dog

By Jick - 26/02/2023 14:00

Today, I was outside when I was suddenly overcome by an intense need to shit. The back door was locked, so I tried to run to the front, but couldn't make it. As I squatted in the bushes, my girlfriend came home unexpectedly. She screamed and called me a sick, disgusting freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 298

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Today, at work, I had to explain to a customer that she can't connect her tablet to her home WiFi while she's at work. I went to MIT for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 756

You deserved it 817

Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 499

You deserved it 104

Today, my parents told me that they had joined a local club. Proud of them for going out of their comfort zone to make new friends, I googled the name of the club. I'm sure they'll make some lifelong friends at their first swingers club meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 814

You deserved it 3 268

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 506

You deserved it 7 975

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 639

You deserved it 4 710

Today, I discovered that my husband's recent business trip to France was actually a filthy holiday in Blackpool with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 102