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Imperial death march

By Fuck you dad - 05/01/2026 09:00

Today, my "president" invaded another country and stole their president to face bullshit "charges." I'm so disgusted to be from this place. I want to move somewhere else but I'm disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 398

Oddly specific

By annairb - 07/01/2026 03:00

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I order meat well done. He's the third guy to do this. Just the thought of eating undercooked meat makes me gag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 309

Get a taxi

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 20:00

Today, my wife walked into the bedroom in a vest top, a mini skirt, tights, and fuck-me heels. I thought I was gonna get some for the first time in months, until she came out with the dreaded statement, “I’m off out with the girls, can you stay awake? I might need a ride home later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 96

Sitcom moment

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 09:00

Today, my friends were criticizing me, a 36 year-old man hitting on a 22 year-old I met at a bar. I brought up that she’s a consenting adult. One of them responded, “Dude, the year she was born, you were old enough to jerk off and your voice was dropping… isn’t that a turnoff for you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 704

It's Klug

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 03:00

Today, I brought leftovers to work in a Tupperware container for my lunch. When I opened the container in the break room, it smelled so bad everyone stopped talking. Someone asked if something was spoiled. It wasn’t. It was just my lunch. I ate it anyway, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 346

Stop pointing out my shortcomings

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 12:00

Today, of all the things I have to be self-conscious about (my looks, my weight, my mental health…), I now have to be self-conscious of my breathing, because my brother says it’s “painful to listen to.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 108

Are you doing OK?

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 20:00

Today, my son is only two but I'm already plagued by the idea of him one day having a wife or girlfriend. I'm being kept awake at night by the betrayal of something that hasn't even happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 822

Mommy's boy

By Fed up - 07/01/2026 09:00

Today, for the hundredth fucking time, my stepson asked for a snack twenty minutes before dinner. When I told him no, he cried to his mom, who yelled at me and gave him a granola bar. Then, when dinner came, he "wasn't hungry", picked at his food, and fussed and cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 101

Old boy

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 20:00

Today, I visited my girlfriend’s family in Louisiana and her grandmother told her Pawpaw was still alive. Was it a neighbor or relative. Nope, a 60 year-old 12-foot alligator in the river behind their house. He actually came like a dog when she whistled. Scared the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 73

Don't do this sort of shit

By Ouch - 29/12/2025 15:00

Today, I got in the car with some friends, only to realize none of them were wearing seat belts. They heckled me until I took mine off, then the driver slammed on the brakes and I hit the dash. They'd all known it was coming and braced themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 593

Infectious

By Looupyloou - 07/01/2026 12:00

Today, it's day four of liquid ass and violent hurling after I hosted a birthday party for my daughter, and one of the kids brought a stomach virus rather than a present. Yesterday my daughter started with the violent vomiting too. Everything smells like vomit in my home. Yay me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 76

Oh wow, that's rude

By Nena - 26/12/2025 03:00

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 736

Perfect

By AITA - 05/01/2026 20:00

Today, I opened the bathroom door without knocking and walked in on my wife’s sister (who lives with us) showering naked. Seeing her perfect, drenched body turned me on. I'm now unable to get an erection with my wife, because I can’t remember the last time her body looked like that. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 297

Nice try

By idiotwithaface - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I recently graduated from high school and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say, "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 561

You deserved it 62 606

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 225

Poop chute

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 03:00

Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 131

Playing favorites

By So sick of disrespect - 21/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 46

Creep

By fu2then - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He said, "Yeah well, you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 373

You deserved it 4 257

Insatiable

By Anonymous - 07/01/2026 20:00

Today, my husband is a normal man in his thirties with a receding hairline and a dad bod. So why am I insanely attracted to him and just want to always have sex with him or do things to him? I can't stop myself. I just turn on when I see him and start sucking his cock. He can't keep up and hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 180

Mutilation denied

By Fuck you I'm crying I would give you so many kids - 09/01/2026 15:00

Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 883

Superficial

By Jackielynn - 22/01/2026 00:00

Today, my new husband told me, “If you ever get comfortable during the marriage I’m leaving. So I’m getting you a gym membership to keep that body in check.” When I protested, he told me, “How would you feel if I packed pounds and look like Jabba The Hutt?” My silence was punctuated by an “Exactly.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 331

I'm confuddled

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 03:00

Today, I once again tried to purchase a membership for a hiking adventure club. I ended up purchasing the same annual membership for the third time. They have already helped me recover my funds once. These people are never going to want to go hiking with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 431

Fear factor

By James - 07/01/2026 22:00

Today, I put my son on a ladder and told him to help me get down the Christmas lights to force him to face his terrible fear of heights. He cried for a good ten minutes, then started to calm himself down, just in time for my wife to run out screaming, "GET HIM OFF THAT LADDER!" Now he's even more scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 574

Kinda unkind

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got broken up with over text/phone after dating for 3 months (I thought he was the one), all because his parents want him to marry "his own kind." He told me because of that there was no future and he would just be wasting my time. It's a stupid reason, and he's a coward. Here I am crying over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 177

Kick off

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having spontaneous sex on the sofa when he suddenly pulled out and sat back down, boner waving like a flagpole, because half time was over on the football and he hadn’t thought the sex would take so long. Let's see if he ever gets sex again, tosser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 97

Quality time

By Fourth, EWWW!!! - 16/01/2026 22:00

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted him to watch The Handmaid's Tale with me. He snorted and said, "Nah, I'd rather not watch your rape fantasy show." First of all, ew. Second of all, how is this show a fantasy? It's horrifying. Third of all, EW! FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 378

Merry ******* Christmass

By Joanne85 - 24/12/2025 22:00

Today, I volunteered to host Christmas dinner for the first time. I forgot to thaw the turkey. We ate sides, wine, and sat in disappointment while the turkey slowly defrosted in the sink. I'm never doing this again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 468

Stylish

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 12:00

Today, I wore my favorite light coat to brunch. Halfway in, someone bumped my arm and a long smear of lipstick appeared across the sleeve, matching the napkin I’d earlier used to dab my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 103

To be fair and balanced…

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 83

Gimme the money, lady

By Yudith - 02/01/2026 20:00

Today, I have to send to court for non-payment of rent the lady whose lease was apparently written by a four-year-old, or so the last judge who dismissed the last non-payment case for the same lady said. Said lady owes more than three months of rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 282

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 455

You deserved it 8 140

Today, my car fob died on me when I was going to get donations because my house burnt down two days ago, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 772

You deserved it 310

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 057

You deserved it 4 788

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 081

You deserved it 2 082

Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 623

You deserved it 50 264

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 164

You deserved it 5 080