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Time to chime in

By Women don't owe men shit - 23/04/2026 09:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I heard my husband giving my son the talk about girls. He said, "You want three main things from women: peace, sex, and kids. If they can't give you those, they aren't worth your time." What an asshole I married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 318

Classic case

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is complaining that girls only want to have sex with him but won’t date him, so he’s afraid he’ll never get married. Funny, my wife only wants to be married to me, but won’t have sex with me. Ain’t that ironic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 109

In sickness and in health

By Boro - 26/04/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, my wife filed for divorce because I gained 170lbs due to an accident that paralyzed me in one part of my body, rendering me unable to work out regularly. According to her, I deserve to be “desired” and “there’s nothing there anymore.” Nice to know the past 12 years were nothing but a lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 130

The customer is always right

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 11:00 - United States

Today, a customer ordered the spicy shrimp ramen bowl. The menu says spicy, I warned her it was spicy, it’s in the fucking title SPICY SHRIMP RAMEN! Despite all of this, instead of ordering something different, the stupid fucking Karen sent her order back four times because it was too hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 51

Business time

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I've had a crush on this girl at my office for years. Our work sent us to a conference. We bonded there. That night, we were talking by the hotel pool and she leaned in and kissed me. Tongue and everything. The problem is, at 40, I still bite my nails when I'm nervous. Well, she choked on the finger nail in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 544

Family time comes first

By Anonymous - 26/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job because my mom and stepdad forced me to go on our family vacation, even though my time off got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 122

Share the shame

By Ughh - 05/05/2026 16:00 - United States

Today, I learned why a guy at work hates me when he drunkenly confessed it at a work retreat. Apparently I look like a gay teenager he had a horrible awkward one-night stand with, and every time he sees me he gets mad at himself. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 56

Hand it over

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 08:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 796

Oddly specific

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 17:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I have no choice but to move back in with my mom and her husband, who are still married even though he's responsible for the house fire that killed my two younger brothers in 2013. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 77

Under pressure

By Ew blood - 16/04/2026 15:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, at my boyfriend's request, I put on a tennis dress for him. He was so turned on that he got a massive nosebleed and bled all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 92

False economy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I walked ten miles to pick up my car from the towing station. Turns out there was enough change for the parking meter in the glovebox after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 999

You deserved it 27 853

Bitter

By Oshi - 02/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a Venmo request from a guy who I friendzoned when I announced my relationship with another guy on Instagram. He’s backcharging me for all the dinners, auto repair bills, etc., he apparently spent on me. It’s over $4000. I don’t have that kind of money and he’s threatening legal action if I don’t pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 516

First date, first impressions

By ragingwaffles - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Chico

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 580

You deserved it 3 959

Nature ain't all that great

By Beaten by deer - 18/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 074

Go trend elsewhere

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a trend I saw where you’re supposed to hug your sibling to see what they do. I didn’t film it, I was just genuinely curious. He flinched and hit me in the face with a book. One of my fillings fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 133

Thirty demons

By Tech BS - 15/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m a high school teacher and I finally learned how to use the smartboard properly. I connected my laptop to demonstrate a lesson… and projected the last thing I had open: a half-written email complaining about how loud this exact class is. Thirty teenagers read it in silence. One kid raised his hand and said, “Fair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 420

Same as it ever was

By Anonymous - 30/04/2026 17:00 - United States

Today, at my high school reunion, my old bully tried to apologize but I told her to fuck off. She wouldn't leave me alone, so I purposely spilled my drink on her. I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 575

Oh my damn

By Anonymous - 08/05/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband saw my vagina for the first time since I gave birth. I know it’s changed down there, and I may not have shaved, but I wasn’t expecting, “Oh my damn, that’s way different.” He wasn’t being mean, he’s too nice to be mean, but “Oh my damn” felt unnecessary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 94

Unsteady

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 69

Get me the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 13:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out that I have to appear in juvenile court because I kept running away from home. I kept running away because my stepdad beats my mom and she won't do anything about it. They said I might have to go to detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 55

Be a better parent

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my boyfriend’s bitch of an ex about why she won’t let him see their kids. She laughed hysterically then showed me screenshots of all the times she offered to drop them off and the excuses he made. An hour later, she dropped three kids at our door and stopped answering her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 752

Touchy subject

By Anonymous - 11/05/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight and he stormed out, all because I told him that now that as he's no longer in the military and we're not moving around anymore, I want to stop homeschooling our kids and put them in regular school. He refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 85

What in the world…?

By May - 16/04/2026 18:00 - United States

Today, I noticed I was overcharged at a fast food place, so I asked the cashier to correct it. He got an attitude, so I asked for the manager. The next thing I know, some dude shoved me, yelling, "Shut the fuck up Karen." I fell and hit my head. People in line laughed and cheered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 117

Worst friend

By Cass - 20/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my best friend announced that he has a girlfriend now and we’ll be interacting less often. When I protested, he said, “Why are you acting like this? You rejected me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and told me we were just friends, did you not?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 877

"The report of my death was an exaggeration"

By Luke Mackay - 03/05/2026 08:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my local pub for a drink. There was a giant sign that read, “Welcome to Luke’s celebration of life.” My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 106

Dang!

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband allowed his 16-year-old daughter to get married. Every single objection and concern I had, they ignored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 79

Smoke em if you've got em

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 02:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I miss drugs and now I'm depressed, and now the world is fucked so there is no other option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 328

I hate surprises

By Anonymous - 18/04/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my husband and kids apparently forgot my birthday. I was so happy at first because I have always hated my birthday, and thought it could just be another day on the calendar. No. They planned and threw a massive surprise party for me when I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 366

Let's push things forward

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 18:00 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I've spent 14 years building a life with someone who cheated, lied, and made me feel like my pain was “unattractive.” I stayed loyal, worked two jobs, and gave everything while he gave nothing. Now I’m left healing from a love that was never real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 148

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 08/05/2026 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the doctor because I have been getting my period every week and a half and they are ridiculously heavy. He then spent the entire time discussing painkillers (I'm allergic to most) and when I asked to be put on birth control, he said I'd need another appointment for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 52

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The Top

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 587

You deserved it 3 962

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 27 772

Today, I got a $200 bonus at work and was super excited about getting a plane ticket to see my family. On the way back from work I got a $300 speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 516

You deserved it 43 487

Today, my ex-fiancée's new boyfriend phoned me to ask what her ring size is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 888

You deserved it 1 826

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 764

You deserved it 4 593

Today, a guy I went on a few dates with and was looking forward to seeing again this Wednesday told me he is not sure he sees this going anywhere. This always happens and I have no idea what I am doing wrong. I have lost hope in finding a boyfriend ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 194