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By Christmasloverandstuff - 25/12/2012 17:45 - United States

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 911

You deserved it 42 557

By icegirl38 - 03/03/2010 15:09 - Iceland

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 902

You deserved it 3 836

icegirl38 tells us more.

icegirl38 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 21:38

Snick, i'm sorry my grammar isn't perfect but I live in Iceland so i'm not used to the language. And yeah, I couldn't smell it because I have a cold! :(

In case you haven’t noticed, I'm weird. I’m a weirdo. I don't fit in

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Conover

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better I said that she looked small. She said, "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 134

You deserved it 40 976

By lezbplove - 19/03/2011 05:26 - Canada

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 585

You deserved it 22 991

By hellnooo - 15/08/2009 23:06 - United States

Today, I found out that I puke and then pass out at the sight of blood. I am a 16 year old girl expecting hundreds of periods to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 128

You deserved it 7 617

Yikes

By nycgirl424 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years sent me a text message saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 129

You deserved it 3 266

Time for lunch in the parking lot

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze, and cremate the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 374

You deserved it 7 992

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 166

You deserved it 2 883

Broken bum

By P DarklyKira - 06/05/2020 17:00

Today, marks the 29th day since I missed my haemorrhoid surgery. They told me to wait because it's not life threatening and so that I don't get the virus going to the hospital, which I understand. The problem is, even though I take suppositories, it hurts badly and bleed each time I have to take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 144

By drunkard - 13/08/2009 14:16 - Germany

Today, I was at a party with my girlfriend and this older guy came in and started talking to me about his rock climbing lessons earlier that week. I told him "I'm really drunk, so I really couldn't give a shit about what you did." It was my girlfriend's father picking her up to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 058

You deserved it 73 699

obsdwitDBH tells us more.

obsdwitDBH 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 14:47

OP Here! First off, the company ISP is based in Germany, but I'm in the Netherlands. Secondly, I didn't know it was her f*cking dad! This older guy just comes up and is like, "Hi, how are you?" and everything and he starts talking about rock climbing... I mean, come on. First 5 minutes, okay, the dude was busy for what felt like 10, maybe 20 minutes. I couldn't handle it. I went to kiss my girlfriend to tell her goodbye cause I saw her grab her stuff and she says her dad is here to pick her up, and that's when I see her to hug him and realize it's him. Now, that's more than 170 characters, which is all that is allowed.

By Bonding_boys - 17/12/2012 16:21 - United States - Elk River

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 6 288

By me - 14/01/2012 01:38 - United States

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 246

You deserved it 57 153

Speeding bullet

By uncoretard - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was trying out for my school's athletics team. As I reached the finish line for the 100m sprint, there was so much momentum I couldn't stop. I ended up running into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 569

You deserved it 8 101

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 03:14 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend decided to have a birthday party for me at this new bar. She texted the wrong address to all of my friends. They showed up at a computer store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 918

You deserved it 2 794

By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 094

You deserved it 63 243

Hang in there

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 719

You deserved it 34 702

By ants9omarching - 10/03/2011 01:48 - United States

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 588

You deserved it 5 942

By humiliated - 26/02/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 941

You deserved it 4 052

It's the new thing!

By Squeakyclean - 23/08/2021 08:01

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 205

Tetchy

By Anonymous - 16/11/2022 02:00

Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment because I won’t play Call of Duty with her brother. This kid loses his temper violently at family board games, how the fuck does she think he’ll react when he gets mercilessly wiped out by COD players who don’t give a toss about his feelings? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 17:43 - India

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 418

You deserved it 5 086

Queasy Lover

By dizzy - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Malaysia

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 894

You deserved it 6 165

Small town blues

By Alyxandrea - 25/05/2020 23:00

Today, our town is so bored that the most entertainment we got was on the local buy and sell trade page, where someone posted that they got someone else's package in the mail, and everyone in town spent 6 hours trying to guess what was in the box. It was actually the highlight of most of our day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 213

By Person in Alaska with a Ferret - 04/03/2011 20:42 - United States

Today, I found out that my ferret, which my parents had told me ran away a few years ago, was actually given to my cousin while I was at a friend's house. My parents didn't want to deal with him anymore and gave him away for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 977

You deserved it 4 708

By oshitdonotwant - 08/08/2009 13:42 - United States

Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 542

You deserved it 4 076

Alexa, play "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard

By Anonymous - 28/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 206

Bingo wings

By fatpreggo - 07/08/2009 20:14 - United States

Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 103

You deserved it 8 301

Knock next time

By my eyes!! - 27/05/2020 08:00

Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 355

By WPA2 OR DEATH - 07/12/2012 21:49 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 793

You deserved it 1 997

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 63

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The Top

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 034

You deserved it 4 062

Today, my husband announced that he wants to separate emotionally. Meanwhile, he still wants me to cook and clean for him while he dates his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 250

You deserved it 3 331

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefered my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 3 279

Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 597

You deserved it 3 859

Today, my little sister got into my anime DVDs, probably thinking they were cartoons. She watched High School DXD, which isn't the best anime for a 6-year-old. Now she wants to be the Breast Dragon Emperor for Halloween and Dad is threatening to set fire to my entire collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 1 522

Today, I remembered that I have a mood tracker my therapist gave me that I haven't filled out. Because I wasn't in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 426