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By jfc519 - 12/08/2012 16:23 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 030

You deserved it 3 447

jfc519 tells us more.

jfc519 0

Sunday 12 August 2012 21:52

Software development company. Not gonna put the name out there though, cause I like having a job. I got into this job expecting peace and quiet all day, but I quickly found out the bosses don't give a shit, and people can get away with anything but murder if they kiss enough arse afterward. You could pop round to HR to complain about pretty much anything, and they'd still tell you to get ******. Sometimes I wonder if they even do anything beside play tetris all day. :|

Grossed out

By vomiting - 07/03/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 157

By dumbasdogshit - 11/08/2012 00:45 - Australia - Gold Coast

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 2 557

By crunkdrunk - 31/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 597

You deserved it 57 314

By Anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 724

You deserved it 3 991

NYC public transport

By Anonymous - 04/12/2020 17:02 - United States - New York

Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 192

By Dean - 15/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, after months of constant encouragement from my friends, I went and entered a singing contest. I sang and was booed off stage. Later on I found out my friends lied to me about my ability to sing, just so I could give them a cheap laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 969

You deserved it 6 609

By Addigirl - 25/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I ordered pick-up from a restaurant I really like. It was pouring, so instead of taking the long way across the pedestrian walk, I ran through a grass-covered area and tripped on tree roots. I was right in front of the restaurant, so everybody saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 591

You deserved it 1 459

Assumptions

By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 09/12/2020 14:53

Today, my fiancé and I both got fired from a job we desperately needed. Why? A friend had practiced sticking him for a phlebotomy class, so he had bandaids on his arms. I was nervous and shaky, as it was my first day. Apparently, this means that we are both IV drug users. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 173

WhataStrangeTripThisIs tells us more.

WhataStrangeTripThisIs 23

Wednesday 9 December 2020 11:01

OP here. The job was at Subway, so they really don't care about firing and hiring people enough to follow up with a drug test. We both offered! I have a great PT job at a doctor's office, but really needed extra income because COVID hit us hard. I was really surprised that they just randomly fired both of us over an assumption! WTF. The manager is a recovered addict and said she knew the signs. Umm, no, apparently you don't. We don't even have the money to DO drugs lol! Now we have no power. But still have a roof. **** 2020.

By thecaptainmorgan - 12/10/2014 04:04 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "Fainting Goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 215

You deserved it 3 134

Slapstick manners

By jake - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 6 412

By OperaLover - 12/09/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft, and practice frequently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 159

You deserved it 3 468

Where's Shaggy when you need him?

By sickofthelies - 24/05/2023 06:00

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 765

You deserved it 6 607

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 02:19 - Reserved

Today, after several long years, a lot of debt, and two great degrees from a top university, I had to move back in with my parents, because no matter where I look, I can't find a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 862

You deserved it 4 086

2019, here I come!

By Lewis - 23/01/2019 19:00

Nevermind...

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 184

By juliearis - 06/07/2013 19:45 - United States - Westport

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 840

You deserved it 10 308

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 12:10 - Norway

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as "bored" the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 679

You deserved it 3 141

Same as "work", "boss" is also a four-letter word

By Scoopie - 15/03/2017 14:00

Today, my job offer from 2 weeks ago was rescinded. My "new boss" didn't like my last performance review. I'd spent 30 hours preparing a case study for the second interview. He wants me to be a "standup guy" and withdraw my application voluntarily, so HR doesn't have to get involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 348

You deserved it 352

By ohaifml - 04/09/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 518

You deserved it 2 844

By Username - 12/11/2010 14:46 - United States

Today, I contacted a girl who dropped her ID at a club last night. I offer to drive 2 hours to return her ID to her. She is thrilled. When I arrive, she gives me a strange look, takes the ID, and runs back into her house. A two hour drive without even a thank you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 335

You deserved it 13 742

By Bebbo - 20/09/2014 01:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 651

You deserved it 5 087

Bebbo_fml tells us more.

Bebbo_fml 21

Saturday 20 September 2014 22:03

Hey guys, op here, the GO train and Via Rail have washrooms. In this case the GO, this particular washroom was on the first level in front of the entrance to the train. And yes the washroom has a lock and I thought I had locked the door, even tested it. Mind you, the passenger who opened the door seemed to have put a lot of strength behind opening the door. So people beware, the go locks aren't that strong!