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I did get it resolved as we have a police officer in the parking lot before and after school. He vouched for me as he saw the guy doing the burnouts through his windshield. Thanks for the comments!

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 965

You deserved it 3 131

By hanenhh - 01/12/2013 10:58 - Tunisia

Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me, but the only one I own has grey skulls printed on it. Yes, she took it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 65

By Fubar0906 - 19/05/2009 01:11 - United States

Today, I'm on vacation. I spent $4000 to surprise my boyfriend on a trip to Hawaii. We have been together over a year. Turns out, he hates the outdoors. He's mad at me for bringing him here and is upset at everything. He's in the room reading, I'm at the bar drinking $10 Mai Tai's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 584

You deserved it 17 599

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 875

You deserved it 5 317

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/06/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 805

You deserved it 5 120

#ForeverAlone

By WithoutLove - 30/08/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 33 090

By Anonyme - 01/08/2015 04:51 - Japan - Iruma

Today, I’m on vacation in Japan. Hungry, I went to a restaurant. Looking at photos of the food, I selected a lovely looking bowl of rice with slices of squid. I was served some ice cream. With squid. On a unidentified white mousse. I’m still hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 132

By Tori - 15/07/2012 21:52 - Australia

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 792

You deserved it 6 347

By Daddy - 03/03/2008 03:33

Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 791

You never know

By lolwut - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Albany

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be OK if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 000

You deserved it 18 749

By lilmamma - 05/11/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 145

You deserved it 50 449

Sewing project

By peppergirl - 30/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was doing a sewing project in class. My friend said we should get the teachers to model our designs. I said that I did not think I would have enough material to make clothes for one of the teachers. I said this in front of the whole class very loudly, while the teacher was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 2 449

Home sweet home

By Deadcat101 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 371

You deserved it 2 002

Hey lady! Chill!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 413

You deserved it 3 050

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Today, I came home to my mentally unhinged roommate jacking off to a frozen TV frame of Peggy Hill from King of the Hill. When he saw me, he threw an ash tray at me and told me to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 898

You deserved it 2 210

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 445

You deserved it 12 987

Today, I was changing in the back seat of my new truck when it started to roll backwards. In my haste to reach the brake, I hit my head and fell face first into the steering wheel. I then realized that it wasn't rolling. The car next to me was just pulling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 845

You deserved it 29 825

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 617

You deserved it 10 099

Today, it has been eight years since I politely declined a date with a "nice guy." How have I kept track of it this long? He has been stalking and harassing me since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 255

You deserved it 360

Today, at my theatre group, I was supposed to stamp my foot in a tantrum then exit stage left. I stamped my foot at just the right height and power for it to go all the way up my leg and dislocate my hip. I’m only 36 and now I might have a bad hip for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 126