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Hello the OP here, in case you are wondering my son is 14, this what makes this bad. I had a talk with him about combing his hair with scissors, he said that since it had an edge he thought it would work just fine. He's not hurt in any way but if he was to hurt himself, I would have told him to figure it out. The eating toothpaste is a whole different story, I didn't know the purpose and he didn't know the purpose. I don't think he knew that toothpaste is poisonous if you ate it. Anybody want to adopt a kid?

Lumpy

By CantBlink - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Jersey City

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 101

You deserved it 2 793

By anonymous - 29/08/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 548

You deserved it 2 544

By cyrilworms - 26/04/2016 03:15 - China - Guangzhou

Today, I’m in China for work, and for the second time someone told me that I look like Vladimir Putin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 80

By Flicker - 14/05/2009 07:23 - Australia

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 53

By Jenniesaurus - 04/09/2014 12:22 - United Kingdom - Lancaster

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 435

You deserved it 8 041

Jenniesaurus tells us more.

Jenniesaurus 14

Friday 5 September 2014 14:50

Finally had something FML-worthy to write and it got up! Wow, I'm surprised at the amount of supportive comments, they definitely make me feel a little better! I admit I shouldn't have been quite so rude, but I am fiercely protective of my dogs (they're rescue dogs and I've had them for 13 years) and I really don't like kids, and especially the mothers that, like her, look like they can't even look after themselves. I called the child dirty because he was quite literally dirty, stains all down his shirt and crumbs and chocolate all around his mouth. I know they may have happened since she left the house and the mum might have no way to clean him but there are so so many women on benefits who just have children for the sake of it around my area when they obviously can't afford to look after them. My two biggest peeves, women like that and people insulting dogs got to me big time! Thankfully I haven't seen her in work yet, hoping she'll steer clear of me and go to a different cashier in the future....

By SadAndDeaf - 02/09/2014 23:38

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 780

You deserved it 3 141