The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Need Help - 06/10/2017 01:30 - United States - Victorville

Today, my grandma went for a walk after being told that she has a bad heart and a fall could be fatal. She fell, fracturing both wrists, and is now in casts and can't do anything herself. Turned out it was only fatal to my college semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 520

You deserved it 344

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 375

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 024

You deserved it 8 742

By MID12 - 23/03/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 756

You deserved it 8 732

Just a prank, bro

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 22:03

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 256

By Cindy - 20/03/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 985

You deserved it 7 339

I'm a meme

By karen - 27/09/2019 14:00

Today, as always, my name is Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 415

By minecraftwilldie - 02/06/2011 16:52 - United States

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 253

You deserved it 14 781

Telenovela FML

By Anonymous - 22/05/2021 04:02

Today, my sister announced she’s pregnant with my husband’s baby. The worst part? It was a plot for revenge against me. She lied about being on birth control to baby trap him. The crime? Me beating her at our high school beauty pageant. Ten years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 444

You deserved it 213

White collar crime

By potting shed woman - 27/05/2021 04:01

Today, after I told my boss I'd found a serious error that cost the company thousands each year, I found out he'd fled abroad. Turns out the error was him stealing for the past 40 years, our entire department is under investigation and the owner is considering scrapping our office and firing us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 90

Brotherly love

By I Hate My Brother - 09/10/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I'm in hospital because of my brother. He followed me and my boyfriend around a fair yesterday dressed as a gorilla, and whenever we showed some sort of affection towards one another, he rugby tackled me. The final tackle caused me to break my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 209

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 454

You deserved it 5 243

Dear Leader

By IHateThisFamily - 04/08/2022 06:00

Today, my Trump-loving sister named her newborn daughter Maga. She’s dead serious. It’s on the hospital papers. And she has the audacity to say she’s “not in a cult.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 331

Gift for you

By safetyfirst - 14/07/2010 15:17 - Taiwan

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 476

You deserved it 21 486

By Noname - 14/03/2009 01:06 - United States

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 193

You deserved it 138 523

Fishing

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 18:00

Today, I was looking at my boyfriend's rarely-used Facebook page as he was next to me. Last time he was online over a year ago, he had something up that said, "Still looking for that perfect girl." I jokingly said he should update it. He responded, "Why? It's still true." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 362

By cachucy - 18/03/2012 15:04 - United States - Geneva

Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 740

You deserved it 3 531

Yeet the feet

By SalonGirl - 10/03/2009 11:55 - United States

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 660

You deserved it 7 293

Look-alikes

By Anonymous - 24/10/2019 12:00

Today, the guy I really like told me that I look exactly like Kathy Bates. I'm only 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 217

Score!

By OverIt - 25/02/2014 22:24 - United States - Winchester

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 829

You deserved it 11 240

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 347

You deserved it 4 363

By staceyymaee - 06/07/2016 17:47 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my new futon mattress arrived. Upon laying it out on the frame, I realized IKEA has whack bed sizings. When I went to return the mattress for a queen, they informed me a queen mattress wouldn't be here until sometime next week. I already threw out my old crappy mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 966

You deserved it 2 580

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 11:47 - United Kingdom - Stevenston

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 341

You deserved it 3 113

Mixed feelings

By thefriedman - 12/02/2013 04:59 - United States - Perris

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 646

You deserved it 8 715

City boy

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 00:01

Today, my boyfriend realised that I’m from the part of Louisiana where we hunt gators for food, and dumped me because he doesn’t want to be a city boy who ends up fathering redneck kids, and having to sail through swamps to visit the in-laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 200

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 652

You deserved it 45 090

Not too fond of the chair

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 881

You deserved it 36 557

Keep it clean

By germy germs - 02/07/2021 04:01 - United States

Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 258

Revelation

By Anonymous - 12/01/2020 18:00

Today, my Dad sat me down and told me that I was adopted. I was unbelievably shocked by this revelation and asked him why he'd never told me this before. His response was, "I didn't know!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 193

By nitwit - 08/09/2009 12:29 - Greece

Today, I spent hours consoling my girlfriend for getting dumped by the guy she was cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 332

You deserved it 79 395

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Weddings Miscellaneous Embarrassing Cute Relatable Job interview Work Love First Dates Vacation Family Transportation Conspiracy theorist AITA Sleep Kids Parents Coworkers Frustration Annoying Health Liar Pranks Weird Sex Bodyshaming Awkward Teachers Gross School

The Top

Today, I learned that I cannot cook or clean in my kitchen because it's too noisy for my neighbour. Every time I do, she bangs on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 301

You deserved it 1 539

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 410

You deserved it 3 506

Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 344

You deserved it 6 994

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 113

You deserved it 14 713

Today, I was thinking about how I saw Eric from That '70s Show at an airport and never said anything to him. I still regret it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 722

Today, my son's school called me at work to let me know my son had broken his leg playing soccer, so I had to come and take him to hospital. I told my boss I had to leave, explaining why. He asked, "How old is your son? - 16. - He's 16 and he still needs his mother? You're not leaving!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 79