The Top

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By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 883

You deserved it 4 216

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 09:00

Today, it's been a while since I tried the "shave-your-beard to see if your baby recognises you afterwards" trick. I wasn’t expecting her to start crying, real heartbreaking tears. The beard's now grown back but she still cries and screams whenever she sees me, and we don’t know what to do. I think traumatised my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 453

Precognition

By David - 12/02/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I reconnected with someone who'd stopped talking to me when I told him his wife was unstable. He informed me that she'd had a violent meltdown and he now has a restraining order against her. He then angrily told me I'd only made a "lucky guess" and screamed at me for "gaslighting" him when I disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 116

You what now?

By ashley anne - 16/10/2022 04:00

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 154

Good boy nonetheless

By Ethan - 18/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 412

Tyranny

By Anonymous - 28/07/2021 16:01 - Indonesia - Balikpapan

Today, I got called "useless" by my mother for not doing what she wants me to do. She also said that I've accomplished nothing, and that I can’t and never will. It’s barely 10 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 165

Called out on FML!

By Anonymous - 18/10/2022 02:00

Today, I'm pretty sure I ran into an FML post written by my supposedly understanding and caring boyfriend. The post was about us not having sex in a long while. Sorry I have PTSD and therapy flared it all back up! Recurring nightmares and physical pain aren't a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 493

Can't take my eyes off you

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, while changing into shorts because it’s scorching hot here, my four year-old found a jar of my Dad's ashes. I came out to see her feet prints in it on the kitchen floor. She'd dumped the whole jar out and was playing in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 205

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, and ever since I got pregnant, I hate how my husband smells. I hate his perfume, his toothpaste, his body odor, everything. When I tell him, he feels offended. I just want a hygienic man to be a little less hygienic, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 512

It's a trap!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I tried on a tight sweater at the mall. It got stuck halfway over my head, and I couldn’t get it off. I had to shuffle out of the changing room, arms trapped in the air, and ask the clerk for help while blinded by the fabric. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 340

Just be yourself

By iQuit - 28/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I decided to quit dating. I'm a plus-sized girl and I can’t get a guy to save my life. On dating apps they run for the hills when they see my full body. I even tried dating plus-size guys and even they have standards. I fucking hate society’s “ideal” beauty norms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 564

Average

By Believe what you want to believe, I was there - 27/02/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out that, despite my above average performance in school, I was right in the middle of my class ranking at graduation. My school stated that your respect for others would affect your ranking, but the fact that nearly all of the people who placed above me were gigantic pricks says otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 162

Nice try

By GregIsGreg - 29/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to flirt with the supermarket cashier by saying, “Guess I’m buying enough food for two!” She smiled politely and said, “That’s nice. Will your wife help you carry it?” I said, “What wife?” only to realize I’d just exposed myself as a lonely man buying family-sized frozen lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 511

Make it make sense

By Not420Friendly - 01/09/2025 22:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I fixed my car starter for $700 because I worked as a delivery driver for a weed company. I went into work and my boss promptly fired me. For fixing a car. To do my job. Which I need, to pay off the car. He even smiled as he said, “Well this is gonna be real awkward for you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 106

Malpractice

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 88

Fight, flight, or freeze

By Broken - 03/09/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, a guy approached me at a party. He made small talk and said he wanted to get to know me. I've had enough of men's bullshit after what my exes put me through, and chimed back with, "Why? So you can then leave me for someone else when you get bored with me?" I do this to every potential suitor, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 818

By SadFace - 07/03/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 298

You deserved it 4 961

Out on the town

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 128

Don't tell Hbomberguy!

By Bad speech - 06/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my cousin’s wedding. Nervous, I copied a speech template I found online. Halfway through, the groom’s father interrupted me to say, “I read that exact speech on Pinterest.” I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 582

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my boss sprang a company workshop on us that I was not informed of, which kept me at work until 10 PM. He expected us all back at 8 AM the next day to continue. On a good day it takes me 3 hours to commute. I got written up for being 10 minutes late to the workshop, after getting up at 4 AM to get there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 127

Nobody likes a shitter quitter

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 09:00 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I got a stomach bug. Then my three kids joined in like it was a team sport. My husband decided his actual soccer game was more important. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 97

STOP! BAD DOG!

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 477

Bad start

By FTodaymannnnn - 10/09/2025 12:00

Today, I woke up an hour and half late to work, sleeping through nine alarms, then fell and injured my knee going into work. I'd forgotten my work ID and door card, and misplaced my coffee mug. It's only 9 a.m.! FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 277

It all adds up

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 12:00

Today, I went to hospital for a potential stomach bug. According to a CT scan, I also found out that I have uterine fibroids as well. Yay for being a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 114

Time to get a bike!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I have to get up at 6 a.m. each day to make it to a class at 8 because of commuter traffic. The college has decided to eliminate an entire parking lot right next to the building where my class takes place, to build a parking garage, which will take 2 years. The only open parking is a field clear across the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 136

Party time!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my friend at their birthday party with a confetti cannon. I pulled the string, expecting colorful joy. Instead, it misfired, launched backwards and smacked me in the forehead. The confetti came out five seconds later, directly onto my dazed head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 297

Insurance is a racket

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 08:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, health insurance is mandatory in my country, and you pay 15% of your gross income for it. Sounds acceptable, right? Except when you find out that, according to the insurance companies, 15% of ZERO is 170 €. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 155

Never enough

By Unappreciated - 15/09/2025 12:00

Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 104

Human! I request petting!

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 06:00

Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 164

Shoutout to all retail workers

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, it's my last week working at a gas station. A fat middle-aged man threw a hissy over the price of 2-liter Coke and demanded I change it. I asked him to leave; he wouldn't, and forced me to call the cops. He stormed out as I was on the phone, pointed at me, and called me a "weak piece of shit". Three more days… FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 126

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The Top

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801 045

You deserved it 66 005

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 204

You deserved it 10 115

Random

Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 2 348

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 357

You deserved it 6 403

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 600

You deserved it 4 143

Today, my acne was so bad I got carded for a pack of lighters. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 118

Today, I found out that my work threw me a birthday party alongside my coworker’s birthday. Said coworker spread a rumor, telling everyone that I wanted each person to buy me flowers and cake. Everyone thought that I was a weirdo for asking for those things from them. I wasn't at work today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 101

Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 182