The Top

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By danii - 04/10/2011 01:19 - Reserved

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 284

You deserved it 54 802

It's all too much

By Wilder-Grey - 09/04/2026 00:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, my boyfriend has been in the hospital since Saturday and I don't know when he'll be home, the anniversary of my favorite grandma's death is coming up, and it's the week before my period. My emotions are so out of whack that even I'm sick of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 160

By scared - 02/10/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 500

You deserved it 3 452

Man child, part 2

By Anonymous - 10/11/2020 08:02 - United States

Today, I was told I'm lazy by my boyfriend because I skipped work. He skips his all the time and when I get home still have to cook and clean up after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 311

Vent away

By GregIsGreg - 10/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 523

Deal with it

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 02:02 - Argentina - Mar De Ajo

Today, apparently having mood swings at 37 weeks pregnant is being "braggy" according to my husband, and totally not acceptable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 167

Horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 12:00

Today, I’m so desperate I hooked up with a guy who has Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 2 126

My body hates me

By Owie - 13/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was looking at myself in the mirror and tried to touch my face. Unfortunately I have Tourette's, so my hand just uncontrollably slammed into my cheek, consequently jamming one of my fingernails into it. It started bleeding like crazy. My fingernails aren't exactly long, either… that's how hard it hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 76

Britain's Got Talent?

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an important music audition, I fudged everything up and forgot half the lyrics of the song I was performing, so I just sort of tailed off into embarrassed silence on stage. It was an original song, I wrote the lyrics myself. All the lady could say was, "Good luck next year, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 141

Don't blame me!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me they're getting a divorce because of all the strain caused by me nearly dying in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 58

Close call

By NotKarenTrustMe - 19/04/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I called the Vietnamese teacher at my son's kindergarten by my Chinese colleague's name. Luckily, she didn't catch it. I'm not a racist, I was just tired after a long day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 107

No friends left

By Anonymous - 18/11/2020 23:02 - United States

Today, I’ve dreamt of going back to high school so many times, every morning I wake up thinking I finished it twice and still have all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 167

Quarantine stress

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 11:01

Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 124

i'm late

By Fluster time - 22/04/2026 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I work remotely and had an online meeting with clients in different time zones. I double-checked the time… or so I thought. I joined 30 minutes late, rushed in apologizing, only to realise I had actually logged into the wrong meeting entirely and interrupted another team’s presentation. My actual meeting had already ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 478

Sports ball

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 08:01

Today, after almost four years of friendship. My "good friend" blocked me on Facebook, after I joked with him about his team losing. I'm a huge fan of the winning team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 224

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in protest at my girlfriend stealing the blankets every night, I actually bought myself a separate duvet. She stole that one too in her sleep, wrapped it round herself, and turned over so many times it disappeared under her somewhere. I went and slept on the sofa in my dressing gown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 67

Bye, dipshit

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 05:02 - United States - Merrimack

Today, my husband told me he no longer loves me and is moving out. It's also our 13th wedding anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 266

Hard times

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my brother isn't going to have a funeral because my dad and stepmom can't afford one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 66

Mystery message service

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 20:02

Today, my two year-old opened one of my boyfriend's Snapchat messages. It was from a girl I've never heard of, with whom he has a 700+ day streak and is one of his top friends. The message said, "I wish?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 253

Where were you?

By Numskull - 27/04/2026 09:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I showed up to my mate's wedding. There was a board for someone's 100th birthday instead. I screwed up the dates and the wedding was yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 491

He has a point

By I'll stop being "bitter" when my life stops sucking - 29/04/2026 15:00 - United States - New York

Today, my tall, handsome, perfect cousin told me to stop bitching about being single and "work on myself", as if that would magically attract hordes of women. I told him to fuck off and swung at him. He knocked me on my ass and had the balls to say he forgave me but that I needed to stop being bitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 105

Change of heart

By Anonymous - 28/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 262

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my son fishing and we did quite well, catching enough for several nights worth of meals. Then, as we were packing up, the dumbass tipped the whole lot back into the sea because he somehow thought the freaking ocean was subject to catch and release. Four hours wasted FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 336

Cold turkey

By Wishliar - 30/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I started my cure from my opioid addiction. My whole body is so sore, I'm lying in bed and I'm still hurting to the point that I cried half the day, and nothing will make me feel any better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 218

Crisis of faith

By Hmmm… - 04/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I'm no longer interested in praying with my family. That's a very uncomfortable thing for me. I still believe in God and prayer, but it’s uncomfortable when your family is very religious and half of them are ministers. I can’t tell anyone in my family this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 92

Hellworld

By hannahnator - 02/12/2020 14:04 - United States - Racine

Today, it's the first day of our 2-week quarantine. Today, my 3 year-old also discovered Blippi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 192

They grow up so fast

By NoGrandkids - 06/05/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 102

No good deed…

By Jane - 11/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to be helpful at a café by stacking the plates after finishing a meal. The stack looked stable until it very much wasn’t. Everything slid off at once, loud crash, and almost every conversation in the place stopped. The server came over and told me, very kindly, “You didn’t have to do that.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 352

Rock n roll!

By Anonymous - 09/10/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I had my first gig with my new band. I was concentrating on my guitar during the second song when I tripped over the singer's microphone cable, hit my head on the bass drum, and blacked out. When I came to, people were applauding, apparently thinking it was part of the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 131

Spineless

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I received a text from my boyfriend breaking up with me. Not only was this a bit cowardly but he'd also sent it in a reply to our last interaction on our phones, a group chat with some of our friends, who started commenting with sad face emojis before I had even had the chance to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 80

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The Top

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 2 812

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 92

Random

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 209

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 919

You deserved it 42 649

Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 443

Today, I went to go to an aerobics class. Shen the instructor walked in, she went up to me and told me it was a women only class. I am a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 162

Today, I got to my log cabin after an hour's hiking. I lit the fire because it was freezing and my stupid dog sniffed the fire, looked me in the eye, then jumped right into the fire and knocked the logs everywhere. My cabin is now ashes and I had an hour's hike back to my car with my stupid dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 200

Today, I got so sad and depressed looking at my old pictures. I had such bad body dysmorphia from all the mean, nasty, hateful things my horrid family used to bully me for that I never realized I was actually pretty. Now thanks to an autoimmune disease my body will never look nor feel the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 39