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Help needed

By Anonymous - 10/02/2022 11:59

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 242

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 22/05/2023 00:02

Today, my daughter got her first house. As soon as she had the keys, she turned on me, ranting at everything she thinks I’ve done to wrong her, and how she never wants to see me again. I don’t understand, I paid for all her furniture, and we still go on mother/daughter trips. Where did I go wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 276

I'm so bored

By Bored - 12/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 274

Just shut up already!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister went from choosing not to have kids because they just aren’t for her to being obnoxiously childfree. We can’t have a single conversation without her ranting about how much she hates children, and parents are pathetic losers. I have three kids and don’t want her around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 92

By idonthaveauserna - 09/10/2014 16:48 - United Kingdom - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend admitted than he's been using Febreze instead of showering for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 238

You deserved it 4 891

idonthaveauserna_fml tells us more.

idonthaveauserna_fml 2

Friday 10 October 2014 18:04

OP here- It's a long distance relationship, he told me over Skype. I can confirm that he HAS had a (long) shower now.

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 14:52 - United States

Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 670

You deserved it 2 464

Family matters

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 04:58 - United States

Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 119

Snooping

By Anonymous - 16/10/2024 16:00 - India - Bhubaneswar

Today, I was forced to use Egspy on my wife's iPhone. She is going out with a colleague in exchange for getting her promotion approved. I've never had any hints or doubts, but it seems she's having illicit relations with multiple colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 164

Shitty situation #766

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 14:00

Today, I was surprised to see a lot of blood when I looked down the toilet while I was pooping, as I don't have my period right now. I've been heavily constipated since I've consumed my allergy medicines. The thing is, I need them to function normally, as I'd be sneezing every minute if it wasn't for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 07/07/2013 13:58 - United States - Wayne

Today, not only do I work as a garbage man, but I had to pick up a used, bloody tampon that someone decided to throw on the ground rather than in a garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 640

You deserved it 5 073

Reach out

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 03:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that although she loves me, she's not happy with our relationship, and wanted to end it. I have no one to talk to about it, and Chat GPT told me that our conversation had exhausted it. Even artificial intelligence rejects me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 308

Family

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 03:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I realized my cousin is an asshole. A cousin that I was close to who got engaged. I was excited to be part of her wedding day, since she was a big part of mine. Months later, on Instagram, she was sharing reels from her bachelorette party. When I asked her why she didn't invite me, she said she forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 09:25 - United States - Toledo

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 166

You deserved it 2 605

Come on 2021

By Jaclyn Hoffman - 27/12/2020 23:01

Today, I realized how much 2020 has been an FML. We dealt with lockdown, stressful home renovations, losing a job due to health issues, and giant vet bills when we're already in debt up to our eyeballs. This has been a great start to our first year of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 129

Suit yourself, but I know what I'm talking about

By Anonymous - 27/10/2024 22:00 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, a colleague told me not to "tell him how to do his job." I used to have his position three years ago, and he took over from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 404

By Overlord247 - 28/06/2019 07:05 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, due to sleep deprivation, I wasn't paying attention to where the elevator stopped. I walked into a flat, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. It was the flat just beneath mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 492

The grass is never actually greener

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 12:00

Today, I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman I love to bits, but I have a crush on a coworker. I've tried to brush it off, but it's only getting stronger. The worst part? I think she likes me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 1 182

Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

By yard sale 911 - 01/06/2023 15:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, our community is having a large collective yard sale. It's also the day my phone decided to somehow pocket-dial 911. I had to explain this to the officers responding and also to a lot of surprised shoppers and neighbors. I'm still extremely embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 159

BYOKA

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m so embarrassed I can barely believe it: I was out on a date and he asked the waitress to bring a pitcher of water and extra sugar packets. He took two Kool-Aid packets from his pocket and mixed it up right there at the table, proudly stating he didn’t need to pay for drinks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 96

The dead art of the PUA

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 22:00

Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 2 750

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, on the subway, a little tipsy, I sat down next to a guy I thought was cute, hoping to enjoy some harmless flirting. I said, "Hello." He said, "May I ask you a question?" I said, "Sure." He said, "Can you please move away from me?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 925

You deserved it 33 755

Jello? Is it pee you're looking for?

By Yudith - 07/06/2023 22:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, in the bus, my Gatorade bottle's badly screwed cap resulted in my Jello being ruined and yellow Gatorade poured all over myself, the seat, and the floor. It looks like I pissed myself, and I still have to go through a whole building where several of my colleagues live before making it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 267

Dire straits

By Sandy - 09/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my ex to ask if he could help with bills and buying some nice things for my son. He said, "Look, I'm not going to keep doing husband and father shit for a woman who won't marry me and a kid who isn't mine. Go call his dad." His dad is a deadbeat. He knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 475

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 472

You deserved it 2 119

By KarlwithaK - 19/05/2009 03:29 - United States

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 37

Can it, now!

By Anonymous - 01/01/2021 14:01 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I learned that I've married into a family that talks to movie characters as they’re doing stuff in the movie. Good luck hearing the dialogue now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 154

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 22:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after dating someone for a year and a half, upon meeting his mother for the first time he'd told me she has bad anxiety and that he’s going to introduce me as his friend, and the only reason I was meeting her was because she was selling her deceased husband's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 112

Snooping

By Anonymous - 18/04/2022 00:00

Today, I went through my boyfriend's old phone to get over a gut feeling I've been having that things aren't as good as they seem. Turns out he's been taking videos of himself masturbating and sending the videos to chicks on WhatsApp, and contacting an old neighbor trying to hook up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 272

Bugged

By Anonymous - 11/06/2023 03:00 - Germany - Undeloh

Today, I hate having bugs in the house so I covered all doors and windows in fly screen. This prevents 80% of the bugs from finding their way inside, and 100% of those from finding their way back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 221

By Wingman527 - 15/09/2014 21:39 - United States - Salida

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 11 777

Wingman527 tells us more.

Wingman527 22

Tuesday 16 September 2014 20:03

You can actually, it's called school.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 127

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 51

Random

Today, I was messing around and tried to catch a piece of cereal in my mouth. I accidentally slammed my head on the counter behind my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 198

You deserved it 8 391

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 057

You deserved it 3 632

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 938

You deserved it 2 532

Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 509

Today, after a day of walking around downtown, shopping and going out to eat, I came home to notice I had a dirty thong stuck to the back of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 659

Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 197