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Interruption

By Freddie06 - 18/10/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a first date, and it was going surprisingly well. As we were saying goodbye, I leaned in for a kiss. Just as our lips were about to meet, a car full of teenagers drove by and one of them yelled, "TONGUE SANDWICH." My date burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 160

By Salvation711 - 15/04/2012 15:29 - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 934

You deserved it 33 966

He Mad

By kitty - 09/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, my grandpa yelled at me, telling me to stop being ugly and rude. I only asked if he could cut the watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 158

Dating is hell

By Pauline - 14/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after I finally matched with someone who could spell, had a job, and liked dogs. Mid-date, he said climate change is a hoax and offered me Ivermectin for my allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 178

By InfamousLastWord - 27/03/2013 19:34 - United States

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 504

You deserved it 6 242

She'll come around

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 22:05

Today, my only friend confessed she loved me, but I’m not a lesbian so I had to let her down. Apparently she thought I was a lesbian too, so she ran away mortified. I just got a text that she can’t see me anymore, because it’s too painful. I have no relatives and now no friends. I’m totally alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 154

By clecker - 08/10/2009 10:24 - Australia

Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 667

You deserved it 12 958

Missing BFF

By HerNameWasRose - 06/05/2021 11:01

Today, it's my best friend's birthday. She went missing almost five years ago. My parents tell me to just "get over it", as if missing her is wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 107

Tight fit

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 00:01

Today, my two boys wanted to sleep in bed with us. My wife gave them the okay, even though there’s not enough room for all of us to lay. I’m now sleeping in my 3 year-old’s bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 179

No napping, only feeding

By Not Helping - 06/07/2022 09:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I've had a cold that just won't go away for the past few days. After staying painfully awake for most of the day, I eventually fell asleep in the afternoon. When I woke up, I found my hungry cat sitting on my chest. She then sneezed in my face and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 217

The sociopaths amongst us

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 22:00

Today, my boss is such an unfeeling asshole that he seriously thought he could demand I only stay at my best friend's funeral for 45 minutes then return to work, because it was “just a friend, not a relative', and that when his mother died he "took a whole 2 hours off and was back at work by 11:45.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 95

Family outing

By Anonymous - 20/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I’m being threatened with police action after my twins “beat up” a big kid for grabbing my daughter’s butt. They hit him with rocks and kicked him repeatedly. My twins are 7, my daughter is 10, and the other kid is 12. Maybe little perv in training should keep his hands to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 90

By gutsforme - 11/08/2010 10:40 - New Zealand

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 425

You deserved it 4 500

By roomie487 - 06/10/2009 21:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 235

You deserved it 4 343

Red flags

By Destitute - 21/07/2022 06:00

Today, I learned that when communication is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. My husband never tells me about his day anymore, but he constantly texts his coworker outside work. He vehemently insists she’s only a coworker and nothing else, and he’s “allowed to have friends”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 221

No way in hell

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 00:02

Today, I told my husband we should try go vegan for a while to see if there were any health benefits. He threw me over his shoulder and put me outside, because, “crazy plant ladies live outside with the other vegetables.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 099

Snitch

By Elissa - 23/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband sent me some flowers while he's away from town on a business trip. The flowers were beautiful enough that I almost forgot the screenshot his best friend had sent me, where my husband bragged that he'd "probably be drowning in dick when she gets the flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 10/06/2011 21:22 - United States

Today, my cousin taught me how to make dinner. My cousin is in first grade and I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 504

You deserved it 41 210

By PoeticPathetic - 16/04/2014 02:28 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 175

You deserved it 5 912

PoeticPathetic tells us more.

PoeticPathetic 0

Thursday 17 April 2014 8:35

I'm the OP Where I live a lot of my peers went to uni and ended up with jobs that pay even less than mine. Tradies get the big dollars in my state

Recruitment hell

By Frustrated Worker - 16/07/2022 12:00

Today, I was let go by a job for the second time in less than a month, for the same reason - they couldn’t be bothered to give me any training or feedback. They even said I worked hard and had drive, but the wrong “skill set.” This could have been brought to my attention at the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 126

By needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 639

You deserved it 2 624

Know your worth

By Anonymous - 20/05/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 107

Scratched

By itchy - 08/11/2023 14:00

Today, I have scratched both my ankles so hard and for so long that they started bleeding, and they still itch. I have no idea what I’m allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 123

Best excuse

By Magellanic L - 07/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my girlfriend, who's been in relationship with me for almost two years, told me she's worried that she's going to leave me for another rich guy "in the future", so to prevent that, she's gonna leave me right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 88

Loot

By ScrewedForCheapBag - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sacramento

Today, my car got broken into. A small folded plastic bag and a few toothpicks I got from a restaurant were stolen. It's going to cost me a few hundred bucks to fix and clean my car over a 10 cent bag and a few free toothpicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 2 681

I am the law

By Anonymous - 27/09/2019 06:03

Today, I got a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road. It was a one-way street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 374

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 02:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 118

Whiffy

By RIP_Nose - 03/04/2014 21:48 - Germany - Aidenbach

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 748

You deserved it 3 882

It's on me

By Rockyio - 30/09/2009 17:45 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said, "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 411

You deserved it 3 614

It's MINE

By birdy - 01/08/2022 16:00 - Australia

Today, after months of trying to persuade her to give it to a wildlife rescue, I reported my stepmother to the authorities for illegally keeping an endangered bird in the kitchen. When they took it, she screamed that I had no right to do that, as she considered it hers since she found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 251

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Random

Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 494

You deserved it 955

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 076

You deserved it 4 350

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 268

You deserved it 64 378

Today, I got the best advice for my depression and anxiety from my parents and relatives: "Get it out of your head, there's no such thing. And get married!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 156

Today, my dad told me that people requiring psychiatric treatment are just weak and pathetic, and what they really need is a kick up the ass and to get a fucking grip. He told me this not 30 seconds after my doctor recommended I spend some time in a facility for my severe depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 162

Today, at my local pub, I discovered that three equally toxic women were having a contest to see who could take me home first. I'm an emotional (and not very attractive) person who spent the year dealing with a tragic breakup and I don't do hookups. These women know this and STILL waste my time trying to gaslight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 102