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Hello everyone. She's doing very well now! The doctors at the hospital told us it was only a minor stroke luckily. We were extremely lucky to have a doctor at the house indeed. And sorry to hear about your loss #70.:(

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 19:17 - Israel

Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 652

You deserved it 5 209

By holly - 24/05/2009 18:05 - United States

Today, I was watching TV on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because, "the dog can't see the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 164

You deserved it 4 731

By Anonymous - 02/10/2014 04:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was talking to my brother about how careless people are. Minutes later, I shocked myself with my dog's shock-collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 922

You deserved it 35 712

By stupidboys - 06/09/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 818

You deserved it 4 639

Saving grace

By Fefrank - 25/03/2019 00:00

Today, I broke a bolt on my minivan trying to fix the timing belt myself to save money. I spent about 300 dollars in parts. I took the van to the shop and the total to fix it is going to be 1200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 1 015

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 1 198

Red flags

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 00:01

Today, I decided i wouldn't take the bus back home from uni, instead I walked to the metro. On my way there, I saw a couple of odd-looking guys, but I thought, "Nah, just because they wear big hoodies and caps doesn't mean they're doing anything", so I ignored them. Two minutes later they mugged me in broad daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 234

By hylianprincess - 25/09/2014 11:19 - United States

Today, my mother is so overdramatic that her response to finding out I lost a friend's book was that I should fake my own death rather than fess up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 715

You deserved it 3 276

By Wrongdoor - 06/12/2009 14:58 - United States

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 491

You deserved it 27 979

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 14:39 - United States

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 681

You deserved it 64 742

Circle of love

By HellaBomber91 - 05/12/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I'm her first boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 856

You deserved it 3 280

Move!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 604

You deserved it 54 314

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 697

You deserved it 2 976

By Clumsy - 18/04/2019 18:00

Today, for the second time in a row, I slammed into the edge of the doorway while half asleep. My entire body hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 402

By mus - 23/04/2019 04:00

Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 3 698

Feel the burn

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 12:00

Today, I hooked up with a guy. After sex, I found him washing his penis with BLEACH. I asked what the hell he was doing; apparently his mother makes him do it because sex is sinful and dirty, and all unmarried women have STDs. WHAT THE… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 305

By Anonyme - 03/11/2012 02:24 - Japan - Takatsuki

Today, I live in Japan. I discovered that the toothpaste with the terrible taste that I’d been using for a month, and on which it says “Whitening” in non-Japanese characters, was in fact a skin whitening cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 203

By Guntherdog - 27/06/2013 15:17 - United States

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 970

You deserved it 4 070

Plop

By TimeForACareerChange - 18/07/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 462

You deserved it 2 341

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The Top

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 974

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 259

You deserved it 5 031

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 931

You deserved it 3 732

Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 651

You deserved it 8 358

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 145

You deserved it 3 749

Today, my mother yet again chose to put my brother's junkie of an ex-girlfriend's needs and happiness above mine, despite the fact that she's stolen thousands of dollars and anything else of value from my mom's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 103