The Top

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Teamwork

By Cheifs - 23/06/2025 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I joined a Zoom meeting and spent 10 minutes talking about my car issues to a group of strangers who were definitely not my usual team. I then realized I was in a webinar for bird enthusiasts who were too polite to interrupt me talking about transmissions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 446

TMI, dude!

By Gwen - 03/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, at a party, we played the game where the person next to you needs to say something nice about you. My neighbour didn't know me well so he just pointed out I nicely smell like mint. That's when my drunk husband exclaimed, "My gal loves eating my ass, so that's just her mouthwash you just smelled!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 143

Sleeping beauty

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a movie theater trying to stay awake during a boring film that my girlfriend really wanted to see. Next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly. My girlfriend sharply nudged me awake, and I realized the people in the row in front of me were giggling at me like I was a hibernating cartoon bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 432

Packed in

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 352

Nope, no thanks

By Alone - 26/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, three members of my five-person polycule moved away, leaving myself and one other girl. I really liked her, so I was okay… until she split because she "didn't want to be in a boring straight relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 397

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 203

Spoiler warning

By Third Wing - 12/10/2025 03:00

Today, I started a new fantasy romance novel. It was very interesting, but then later I read the plot on Wikipedia and spoiled not just the book but the whole series for myself. Why do I do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 563

Brainrot

By Tired mom - 18/10/2025 00:00

Today, I came home from work to a shouting match between my husband and my teenage son. What were they so riled up about? I'm still not quite sure. Something about the podcaster who was shot recently, and whether his wife is now "grifting" or not. I actually used the phrase, "Go outside and touch grass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 97

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 00:00

Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 106

Heavy metal

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was out having a nice dinner to celebrate being hired for a job I was really excited for after two places didn't work out in a year. In the middle of dinner, I got an email from the director informing me that the school has to close due to lead levels in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 73

Knock knock

By Concerned - 19/11/2025 03:00

Today, I thought my neighbors were having a loud argument, so I went to knock on their door to make sure everything was OK. They weren’t fighting, they were rehearsing lines for a community theater play. They invited me to the show. I still haven’t recovered from the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 173

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 20/11/2025 22:00

Today, I did laundry at a laundromat for the first time. I then folded everything on the table, until an old man tapped my shoulder and said, “Uh, those are my socks.” I'd neatly folded his entire load of laundry. He took it back without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 401

Neat freak

By Carrie - 01/12/2025 15:00

Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 88

Cool

By Pauline - 14/12/2025 00:00

Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 169

Accomplished

By Stevey - 24/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 197

Be careful tonight!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 014

You deserved it 2 200

RIP

By Tracy - 11/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told someone “You too” when they'd said “Sorry for your loss” after I'd mentioned that I recently lost my dog to cancer. I realized what I'd said immediately and tried to fix it by talking more, which somehow made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 154

A tad dramatic

By Illice - 13/01/2026 03:00

Today, my estranged fiancé invited my son (from a previous relationship) and I over for dinner, hoping to reconcile somewhat. When he brought out the roast, my son pointed and yelled, "I'M NOT GONNA EAT THAT!" He was so offended that he kicked us both out and now refuses to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 351

Too tough

By Too tough - 18/01/2026 12:00

Today, I was working construction and tried lifting something I knew was too heavy. My back seized up, and I had to lie down on a pile of plywood while my coworkers stood around pretending not to laugh. The foreman filled out the incident report and titled it “ego-related.” I had to read it before signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 511

Hip cat

By Teacher from FL - 25/01/2026 15:00

Today, as middle school teacher, I tried to use slang to “connect” with my students. I said a lesson was “low-key fire.” One kid asked me, very sincerely, if that meant I was having a medical emergency. Another told me to never say that again. The rest of the day, kids whispered “low-key fire” as I walked by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 503

Unstable

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 20:00

Today, it was my first day out of hospital and being able to walk outside. I went to a shop and an old lady backed up into me and elbowed the exact stop on my back the pain starts from. I hit the floor like a ton of bricks and had to go back to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 65

Make up for it

By Emily - 17/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I used the try-on foundation feature online and it matched, I'd bought it but it was way too light. I then found out that it wasn’t the right foundation and because I had used it, I couldn’t get a refund. I went back to buy the right foundation but my shade was out of stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 163

Hang tight

By I’m absolutely terrified!!!!! - 18/03/2026 03:00

Today, I was told I may have ALS. This all started only 3 weeks ago when I saw a speech pathologist for what was supposed to be a super simple, easy to fix issue. I’m now having panic attacks multiple times a day while waiting to see a neurologist to see if I’ll turn into a dumb Stephen Hawking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 89

Chocolate rain

By Anonymous - 03/04/2026 03:00

Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 85

Doctor Google

By Anonymous - 05/04/2026 00:00

Today, my mother-in-law 'corrected' me while I was trying to help her father with his Parkinson's medication. She went on and on about how she read on the internet about it. I'm a neurologist, but no, she knows better after a Google search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 83

Small town

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally left New York and moved back to my little hometown, only for the job I had lined up to fall through. Now I'm unemployed, can't find anything, and my parents aren't willing to help because they're angry that I "walked out on the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 98

Not now!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2026 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked into the bedroom to find my wife naked, bent over the bed, swaying her cheeks back and forth at me, so what else was I to think? Instead of some good loving, all I got was a shouting and a lecture that just because she’s naked doesn’t mean she’s after sex. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 99

Quick

By Bad interning - 24/04/2026 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was asked to “schedule a quick call” with a client in a different time zone. I double-checked everything… except daylight savings. I sent the invite, joined the call early, and waited alone for 20 minutes before realising I'd scheduled it an hour off. My manager had to email the client an apology while I learned more about time zones than I ever wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 335

Manchild

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized I have to ask my husband if he’s brushed his teeth for the day the same way I have to ask our 5, 7 and 8 year-old children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 78

Full of himself

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during a Tinder date, the guy spent a solid hour talking about the Tinder date he went on yesterday with someone else. Honestly, I only stayed to the end because the restaurant was excellent. The guy was actually confused when I split the bill and didn’t want to have sex with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 74

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The Top

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 648

You deserved it 4 258

Today, I jumped into a pile of snow which had built up against a wall. Turns out it wasn't snow but a pile of cement covered by an inch of snow. I now have a 3 inch cut along my leg and a sprained wrist from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 666

You deserved it 29 169

Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 518

You deserved it 227

Today, I was having a chuckle at the girl who used to torment me since she’s on her fourth marriage. Then I realized she’s gotten four handsome, rich men to marry her, while I’m still hopelessly single and haven’t had a boyfriend since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 383

Today, for the third time, my ex-husband sent another new girlfriend to pick up our kids. It’s crazy that the court sees nothing wrong with his parading a stream of women, which could be dangerous to our kids. The judge said that as long as he keeps up with visitation and child support, there’s nothing I can do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 984

Today, my alarm turned itself off, leading to me sleeping in and showing up to work two hours late. Throughout the day, I kept on fumbling my words because my job requires me to speak mostly in my second language rather than my first, and I'm not great at it. On my way home from work, I backed into a pole with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 220