The Top

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Thank you for being a friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, it's my 21st birthday. The only person who drank with me was my elementary school principal, who I happened to run into at a bar where we were the only two people there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 287

You deserved it 256

Delightful

By Tori - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I got news that I had "delighted a customer" so I looked at the review online. It says, "The fat girl up front was nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 842

You deserved it 552

On a promise

By Brian - 12/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my girlfriend invited me to her apartment for "Taco Tuesday date night", saying that she had "homemade tacos." She actually made homemade tacos for us to eat for dinner. Oh, and she was on her period. Fantasy ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 583

It's the Final Countdown

By Mightytall - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a very long wait at the doctor's. The three plastic plants in the waiting area have 163 leaves each, the patient information poster on the wall has 127 words, the longest word has 19 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 239

Not gonna happen

By notahotel - 10/06/2026 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my parents are calling me a spoilt brat and threatening to disown me if I don't let my sister, her six kids, and freshly out of jail boyfriend move into the house I spent 10 years working my ass off to buy without having a mortgage. Sis said I can sleep on the lounge as long as I pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 63

Get out

By WhatDoIDo - 05/10/2025 12:00

Today, I could easily be any man's dream wife. I'm pretty, smart, devoted, earn well, cook great, keep a clean house, and raise amazing children… but I chose to marry an asshole who keeps hitting me for little to no reason. I'm too scared to raise my kids on my own in this world, or else I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 240

Creepy

By Mrs. Awkward - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I helped an older guy with his safe deposit box. He said it was perfect for holding his ex-wife's remains and laughed. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 910

You deserved it 372

Decisions, decisions

By Which to choose? - 10/02/2026 22:00

Today, I realized I have two guys interested in me. One is a boring lump who has a good job and takes me to nice places, and the other is a hilarious hot sexy goofball who can't hold down a job and shamelessly mooches off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 582

Weird dude

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that the threatening and insulting messages I received from my boyfriend's "stalker ex" were actually sent by him. Why? Because he cheated and he didn't want to admit it. I'm dating a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 783

You deserved it 314

On my way!

By ButNotBed - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I was told to be at a job site bright and early. I woke up and pounded several body smashing drinks to get going. They then called to tell me work was canceled due to weather. It's 6am. I can’t get back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 650

You deserved it 1 030

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 175

You deserved it 328

Technique

By dumped - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 198

No more fun

By Single - 10/01/2026 12:00

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement because I told him, "I've had fun, now I want to settle down in life." According to him, our marriage should be our fun. I have no idea what he's talking about. Yeah, mortgages and babies are such fun. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 889

Firehose

By Anonymous - 25/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my is still peeing on the toilet seat and floor. When will it get better? My son is 18 years-old and apparently can’t aim in the toilet. I had to sit on the pee he left on the toilet seat the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 323

Karma sucks

By gagus123 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I pretended to be sick at the office and went home early because I wanted to attend a party. On the way to the said party, my car caught fire on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 2 579

Let me down gently

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Corona

Today, you know how people say, “The worst thing she can say is ‘No’” when asking a girl out? I found out the hard way that that's a bold faced lie. I asked and she said, “Yeah, I’d rather use a freshly cut jalapeño as a tampon!” then burst into hysterical laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 70

Fish and chips is life

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my husband had his hands full with the shopping, so I was carrying the baby and the bag with our takeaway in it. I tripped down the steps and fell over. Did my husband ask if I or the baby were OK? Nope. But he did ask if I’d squashed his fish and chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 348

Unilateral

By puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 517

Scammed

By Duped - 03/01/2026 12:00

Today, after I donated $250 to an influencer promising "insider truth" streams, he vanished overnight, channel gone, comments disabled. I called friends for a loan but they're dealing with their own bills. I skipped lunch for two days and now my car payment is overdue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 1 459

No way she'll be a Karen

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 00:00

Today, while picking names for our unborn daughter, my mom decided to help by providing a list of names she absolutely won’t accept because they’re all women she hates for insane reasons. It has over 300 common names on it. Every time we pick another name, boom, there it is on her damn list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 123

As he should

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 12:00

Today, I sold all of my son's games and gadgets because he got a horrible report card. It turned out that the school made some sort of a mistake and it wasn't his actual report card. He actually got great grades. I tried to apologize but he told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 1 253

Broke girl

By Embarassed - 20/05/2026 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, at brunch, my friend asked if anyone wanted to split the bill. I pointed out that I’d only ordered coffee while everyone else got cocktails and meals. Suddenly I was “the cheap friend,” and somehow defending my $4 coffee turned into a group discussion about generosity, capitalism, and personal values. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 59

Tarred

By RetailJocky - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, at work, a bag of driveway repair tar split and spilled on my arms and hands. Not only does it stain and pull out any arm hair it touches, the stains also look like I was playing in dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 703

You deserved it 342

Can't buy me love

By Lotto - 01/03/2026 15:00

Today, I won the lottery two years ago, got a massive payout, and of course I told my boss to suck a hobo's asshole and rubbed it in my ex-wife's face that I was set for life. Now I'm broker than ever, getting sued for unpaid debt, and I just learned I'm blacklisted in my former career field. Why me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 1 310

Not a geography major

By Yulia - 19/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 69

Fartmageddon

By dusty bean - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 008

You deserved it 696

Next!

By Woooow - 27/02/2026 22:00

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 224

Art

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was at my job as a fitting room attendant and I checked a woman and her young son in. After several minutes, they left, saying there was lipstick on the mirror. Not only was it all over two mirrors, but also on the wall, the floor and the carpet. The whole place smelled of lip-balm and I was left to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 192

Trans rights! (but also trans wrongs)

By Please bathe - 19/03/2026 12:00

Today, I made my trans daughter cry when I asked her to shower. I love her and full-throatily support her incredible courage for coming out as trans in the USA, but her hygiene has gone to hell. She smells like a pile of dirty jockstraps and keeps saying, "Women don't stink!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 229

Flexing

By Bastard - 20/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my ex told me that he'd spent $5k on a "VIP Pass" for some kind of music festival next year. My son and I live in poverty and barely squeak by, and this bastard would rather be a rich festival bro than help. He's 36, why the fuck does he want to go to festivals now anyway? FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 421

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The Top

Today, I went into work early so I could get my work all done and leave on time, rather than staying back. The later shift starters had other ideas and called in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 866

You deserved it 2 288

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 839

You deserved it 6 667

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 954

You deserved it 7 527

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 404

You deserved it 9 290

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 548

You deserved it 4 268

Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 366

You deserved it 10 892