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Dude, gross!

By Darkness Inside - 13/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my dad learned that I sometimes waffle stomp in the shower if I wake up late. He built a shower stall outside and has threatened to kick me out if he ever finds me showering inside again. I get that it's kinda gross but this is a massive overreaction. What will I do in winter? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 447

Smash the patriarchy

By Anonymous - 25/11/2025 03:00

Today, I explained to my teenage daughter that enough was enough and she needed to start shaving her armpits again, stating it was unladylike and unsanitary. Her only response was, "If it's so unsanitary, why don't you make my brother do it?" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 1 243

Disconnect

By Sad vegan girl - 15/08/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 317

Technique

By dumped - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 462

You deserved it 197

Sitcom moment

By Stupid husband - 20/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 1 002

Ragebait backfire

By Melybae - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I’ve been systematically sharing stories and posts about how love sucks and man-bashing memes so that my crush would regret his decision about rejecting me and choosing another girl over me. He DM’ed me : “Getting tired of your shit Melissa, I’m blocking you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 1 357

Long time coming, probably

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 03:00

Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 1 606

Imperial death march

By Fuck you dad - 05/01/2026 09:00

Today, my "president" invaded another country and stole their president to face bullshit "charges." I'm so disgusted to be from this place. I want to move somewhere else but I'm disabled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 426

Don't mind me

By Moon-chan - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 457

The Seer

By Anonymous - 27/07/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old daughter has been with her boyfriend for about a year. I really wish they would break up. Not for the typical father reasons. My daughter is just like her mother, my ex. She’s clinically depressed and hides it well. He’ll be miserable just like I was. The breakup would be for him not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 403

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 22/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my bitch mother informed me I have two weeks to find a new place to live. When I said she legally has to give me thirty days, she said she doesn’t because I refuse to pay rent as an adult. I have schizophrenia, obesity, and I’m not obligated to pay her rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 1 116

I'm a bad person

By Oops - 01/11/2025 00:00

Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 461

Dethroned short King

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 00:00

Today, I was on a first date. I asked her what she brought to the table since I’m a pretty well established guy. A voice in the booth behind me yelled out, “How bout a booster seat, Smurf!” Everyone laughed so hard I got up and left. I’m 5ft3 and bitches always make it about my height. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 977

Grand-baby moment ruined

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 00:00

Today, I rushed to my son’s house, eager to meet my new grand-baby, who his annoying wife wouldn’t let me see at the hospital. Before I could even pick the baby up, his wife started freaking out that I “smelled like cigarettes” and threw me out because it was “bad for the baby.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 146

B-Baller

By awkwardballer - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing basketball with my new coworkers, I managed to get the ball stuck between the hoop and backboard. In trying to free it, I also got a traffic cone stuck and ended up having to drag a large ladder across the court while everyone watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 164

You deserved it 1 729

Toxic

By DontheRon - 26/03/2026 20:00

Today, I reported the girl I like’s new boyfriend to be trespassed from our workplace for being disruptive. I’m sick of him coming in and bringing her lunch and acting lovey dovey. My plan successfully worked, he is no longer welcome on the premises, but now half the office hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 1 226

Proud dad

By Not a proud dad - 08/05/2026 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that when my daughter spent the night at her best friend's house for her 18th birthday, they made her an account on one of those "cam girl" websites, and now every time she goes over there, she masturbates for money in front of strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 80

What will people think?

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 13:00 - United States

Today, I turned down my boyfriend's proposal because I'm pregnant and I told him I didn't want people thinking that's why we were getting married. He… did not react well. Yes, he knows that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 664

Not cool

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 437

Basic terrorism

By Fuck ICE - 23/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to Home Depot with my boyfriend. There were a large number of men at the front of the store speaking Spanish. As we left, he ran back inside shouting, "LA MIGRA! LA MIGRA ESTA AQUI!" They screamed and ran in panic. I am dating a racist scumbag who thinks terrorizing minorities is funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 460

Red thong, I mean red flag

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 03:00

Today, I got the silent treatment from my boyfriend because my high waisted sweatpants accidentally slipped a little when I bent down, just as my creepy neighbor happened to walk by and my thong was exposed a little. The only thing he said to me all day was right before bed when he said, “Throw out that fucking underwear.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 117

Cheapskates

By 2broke4ajoke - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, after starting my new career as a server, two women were kind enough to leave a $5 tip… while still owing $6.84 on their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 912

You deserved it 214

What is wrong with you?

By emerald - 08/01/2026 09:00

Today, I noticed my daughter’s bathroom was dusty, so I screamed at her for keeping the bathroom in unacceptable condition. She had a panic attack and has been crying for the past week. She’s 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 940

Isn't that some sort of crime?

By WHAT HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY - 16/02/2026 09:00

Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 136

Big Brother

By Maui_Diddy - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, an old fling said she regretted her previous choice and wanted to try again, so I happily accepted. She failed to tell me that her previous choice was crazy. Not only is he stalking her, but he's also stalking me, and sending her messages about who I'm with and what I'm doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 231

You deserved it 439

Blasphemy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 12:00

Today, while reorganising my very extensive book collection, I found my 16th century Bible had about 15 pages glued together with what I suspect is 30 year-old raspberry jam. My son might be 36 years-old now but he’s going to get it when I see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 378

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 12:00

Today, I realized that if I run out of cigarettes my husband wants nothing to do with me, and when he hits me during a mental breakdown it's all my fault cause I had it coming. He's 40 and acts like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 142

Germ warfare

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 20:00

Today, as punishment for getting caught kissing my precious newborn grandbaby two years ago, my son and his nasty wife have barred me from even meeting my second grandbaby until she's at least two months old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 1 084

You get what you give

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 22:00

Today, to my horror, I discovered that my husband is cheating on me. My friends and family refuse to support me, stating that, "He cheated on his ex-wife with you, what did you expect?" I honestly thought he was my soulmate and that's why I pursued him. Why can't anyone understand that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 286

Repetition

By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 414

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 186

You deserved it 3 476

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 012

You deserved it 47 745

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 813

You deserved it 3 923

Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 796

You deserved it 62 377

Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 174

Today, our anniversary, is a disaster. The restaurant gave away our table, even though we were early, and the hotel we’d booked for three nights had a burst pipe, so we had to sleep in the only other hotel, which was so seedy the deskman openly assumed we were two cheaters meeting for a quick fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 134