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It's our house, bitch

By Scared - 16/02/2026 00:00

Today, I've been trying to train the cats not to sleep on the bed, which is hard because they all adore my husband. I woke up in the middle of the night to him sleeping on his stomach and all three lying on him, staring daggers at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 327

Unacceptable behavior

By Next, please - 19/02/2026 15:00

Today, a company who interviewed me by phone for 15 minutes rejected my application, even though I passed a video portion previously. The first question was, "Tell us about yourself without talking about your work qualifications," and I talked about my daughter, skiing, and making sourdough bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 88

Superman

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was made clear to me my baby brother has been letting me win all our fights, because I accidentally left my truck parking brake off so it started rolling down the street, and he caught it and dragged it to a full stop. That things weighs almost a tonne. I can’t fight him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 392

Wrong time, same place

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 15:30 - India

Today, I printed 500 event posters with the wrong venue because I copied from last year’s file. Client needs them by tomorrow. Now I’m pulling an all-nighter reprinting everything. Coffee is my only friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 679

Pop off

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 20:00 - Germany - Tostedt

Today, I couldn’t wait to get home and get my boyfriend naked, which I did. Although, to be honest, popping every single pimple in the rash on his back was not the kind of foreplay I had had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 123

Bad dude

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out that my ex (he's 35) tried soliciting sex from one of my friend's daughters (she's 22) and a few other friends as well. To make it all worse, I just found out this fuckboy has herpes, and contracted it while cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 130

Hiding

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I learned just how disgusted I am by my own body, when I was debating whether or not I should wear a baggy hoodie in 92 degree Fahrenheit weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Sharing my journey

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Freakout

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned my wife has an extra level of anger. First is sarcasm, then yelling, then the silent treatment, it’s been that way for our whole marriage. Turns out the level above that is hurling a sledgehammer at me. She still won’t tell me what I did to surpass the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

One step at a time

By shengming - 06/07/2025 04:00 - China

Today, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Although I am very happy in a sense and feel that there is finally an explanation for the past, this issue is not conducive to my adjustment to society. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Gooners rise up

By Meanwhile we barely ever fuck - 05/07/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend left his laptop open, signed into a chat program. I learned why he started working out and eating right. Not to look good for me or be healthier. No, he planned his entire diet and exercise plan so he could shoot the biggest loads possible during "goon sessions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

His little lipstick

By poopface82 - 06/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after three solid weeks of having my kids. After I got home, my dog decided to get intimate with his stuffed animal toy. I now know what my dog’s dong looks like, and that he’s gotten more action in the last two months than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 295 705

You deserved it 54 208

Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 838

You deserved it 1 278

Today, my mother is acting pissy because I poured my drink out on our front lawn. Apparently, this was, "ridiculous and embarrassing." Meanwhile, COVID is surging and it looks like I'll be quarantining with her. Kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 1 146

Today, I wanted to send a birthday card. I kindly asked my boss for an envelope, and she asked me to pay for it. I've been working for her as an intern for over a year now, without receiving any money for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 484

You deserved it 4 327

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 549

You deserved it 1 453

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 352

You deserved it 4 655