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Well, after my parents got married, my dad's dad convinced my dad that my mom was a gold digger and so they divorced when I was one year old and had my brothers three years later. They've lived together the past 16 years as a divorced couple and have fought constantly. My dad forced my mom to go thousands of dollars into debt because he wouldn't give her any money for a year. During that time my mom couldn't get a job anywhere and she had to buy groceries for us three and her two kids from before the failed marriage. My brothers and I live with my mom now and it's much better without him trying to control us.

By Anonymous - 26/02/2016 22:31 - United States - Malden

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 211

You deserved it 1 385

By JSterl - 02/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, our airplane was delayed because of issues with the de-ice-ing. Then, because it had too little fuel. Then, because of engine troubles. Then, because our first officer needed to be replaced due to legal restrictions on pilots' hours. Now, I get to go straight from the plane to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 858

You deserved it 2 349

By Hobbits&LiarsOhMy! - 24/04/2017 18:06 - United States - Nacogdoches

Today, I finally met the cute guy that I've been talking to for the last 3 weeks. Turns out "5'8"" was a really big exaggeration for "5"3' in boots'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 917

You deserved it 1 432

SunDown2015 tells us more.

SunDown2015 26

Saturday 22 April 2017 7:31

I'm the OP. So, let's be clear: I'm "5'6" and height isn't a big deal for me. What was important to me was that he lied. He also showed up to our meeting stoned off his ass, and then proceeded to throw a muddy basketball at me (which got all over my new shirt). Definitely not Prince Charming. I got out of there ASAP! I guess online dating just isn't my cup of tea. Thanks for the FML though! :)

Freak out

By LaurenB - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Epping

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 860

You deserved it 5 443

Oh no…

By x.x - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 707

You deserved it 5 883

Jam it in my ears

By missmom83 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Torrington

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from third grade and figured out how to play the highest-pitched note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of Ibuprofen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 618

You deserved it 5 677

By Fortunato_18 - 02/12/2013 06:18 - United States

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 5 022

Fortunato_18 tells us more.

Fortunato_18 5

Tuesday 3 December 2013 2:11

Just a couple of points I wanna touch on: 1) the shag rug: haha not my choice! It came with my apartment, where the rug is one of the least awful things about it. 2) I know I should have had the nail polish out of reach, but we were planning on painting my daughters nails as soon as one of us got the chance. She's never done anything like that before so I didn't think to lock it up. We did have a chat about it though, and it hasn't been an issue since (this happened a few weeks ago) 3)Thank you for the removal tips! Hopefully I can find one that works :)

By Anonymous - 11/03/2015 15:26 - United States

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 769

You deserved it 3 128