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By JayCee500 - 27/05/2014 23:05 - France - Paris

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 341

You deserved it 11 438

JayCee500 tells us more.

JayCee500 2

Thursday 29 May 2014 11:42

I'm the OP. I posted this after my last session with my therapist--I'd realized that this particular person wasn't working for me because I didn't really connect with her to an extent where I'd be able to tell her all my problems. This is the first time I'm seeking therapy, and from what people have said, it sometimes takes a while to find someone you are truly comfortable with. Just to be clear--I don't think that my particular problems are at all special, and they aren't even that bad when compared with half the shit people I know go through. It was just getting to the point where I was deliberately excluding things that had happened to me/that I felt because I considered them too "pathetic" to share. You can probably guess that one of my problems is that I care way too much about how other people perceive me.

By nico - 01/07/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, I broke my collarbone in a rugby tournament. I was forced to sit through five more hours of games because the coach wouldn't take me to the hospital until the tournament was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 841

You deserved it 3 632

By monogamyisalie - 23/07/2015 17:29 - United States

Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 068

You deserved it 2 794

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 026

You deserved it 13 844

Support system

By Riskreh - 23/09/2009 11:10 - United States

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 285

You deserved it 8 843

Love is…

By gassygirlfriend - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nampa

Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 396

You deserved it 5 291

By Anonymous - 07/02/2010 14:19 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 187

You deserved it 2 554

By Dammit... - 20/11/2010 02:45 - United States

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 280

You deserved it 3 695

The long walk

By Anonymous - 26/05/2009 21:37 - Germany

Today, there was a huge storm. There were no buses, so I walked for an hour to see my boyfriend of two years, who (usually rather the unemotionally type) had called me, crying. When I got there soaking wet, he told me that he doesn't love me anymore, and it makes him sad. I had to walk back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 341

You deserved it 3 915

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 265

You deserved it 46 598

By doughgirl101 - 07/09/2011 05:59 - Canada

Today, my parents canceled the Internet at our house because they view it as a "passing fad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 2 395

By Angie - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 264

You deserved it 2 000

By gimmeabreak0_o - 18/06/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 291

You deserved it 38 812

By lpspann87 - 25/04/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 662

You deserved it 3 651

By ohman - 28/12/2012 03:06 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 431

You deserved it 27 419

Unwarranted

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 757

You deserved it 16 159

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 332

You deserved it 17 989

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 283

You deserved it 7 794

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 14:10 - United States - Jefferson

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 332

You deserved it 3 921

By Anonymous - 30/07/2012 06:41 - United States - Centralia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 393

You deserved it 1 985

By Anonymous - 04/07/2013 16:27 - Germany - K?ln

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 068

You deserved it 4 916

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 23:34 - United States - Brimfield

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 051

You deserved it 12 850

Tiptony Buskertano

By Jesus - 21/04/2009 14:39 - United States

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 006

You deserved it 11 464

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 06:04 - United States

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 047

You deserved it 19 786

By Stevo - 18/06/2010 07:13 - United States

Today, my math teacher told me to learn how to say "welcome to wal-mart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 581

You deserved it 11 905

By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 825

You deserved it 5 236

Time flies by

By ohdear - 27/01/2011 13:07 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. It's also the 5th anniversary of the last time he made me orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 882

You deserved it 7 409

Got 'em

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 06:50 - United States

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying, "Yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 366

You deserved it 47 819

Ins and outs

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 6 729

By hatesgravity - 02/09/2010 11:40 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the nerve to take my motorcycle to up 75 mph on the freeway, I made it off in one piece, only to fall off my bike in the mall parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 940

You deserved it 25 629

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The Top

Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 057

You deserved it 3 561

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 857

You deserved it 3 598

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 058

You deserved it 5 245

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 307

You deserved it 8 208

Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 031

You deserved it 44 963

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 336

You deserved it 3 110