The Top

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New fangled car technology

By Anonymous - 27/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I have a RAV4 with a power hatch that randomly opens when the key is in my pocket, and it has trashed my garage door. Good news: I can stop paying for garage door repairs by paying to convert the hatch to manual instead. Oh, and I was supposed to move a bunch of stuff out of storage tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 104

Been there, done that

By lukey101 - 14/08/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I finally got home after driving solo for 4 full days across Australia. I left my house keys where I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 259

Daddy issues

By Anonymous - 31/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we got our daughter's birth certificate. Turns out my husband thought it would be funny to give her a middle name, which we never discussed, and he picked one to sound funny. Not actually going to tell the internet her name, but it’s as bad as calling a boy Ben Dover. I’m furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 94

My type of dude

By Anonymous - 20/08/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, I realized I have a type: a man who is highly intelligent to begin with, but then either decides to apply his IQ exclusively to theoretical thinking and not real life, or who purposely dulls his wits to the point where you can hardly even have a conversation any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 221

Classic move

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 547

Timeless

By Cindell - 02/09/2026 20:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, I overheard my younger coworkers discussing my age. They said, “How old is she? Some days she looks like she's 35 and other days she looks like she's 58!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 86

Ouch, ouch, ouch

By Teh_Moo_fml - 13/03/2021 00:30

Today, I learned that you can actually sprain your groin for real. It hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 141

Yodelling

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 04:00

Today, I found out that I can only sing well when I'm absolutely certain that no one can hear me. On the rare occasion that people can actually hear me, they always say I "sound just like Elvis." Unfortunately, when I try to sing in front of other people, I sound more like a teenage boy who just started puberty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 165

Intruder alert!

By Pain - 06/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a dream where I was fighting a robber who had broken into my house. I was throwing a lot of kicks in the dream, and this apparently resulted in me kicking my feet in real life as well. I figured this out when my cat started attacking my feet, abruptly waking me up at 2AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 148

Highly relatable

By Alexa, play "Lazy" by Deep Purple - 07/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I woke up and did the same thing I do at the start of every day: lie in my bed and stare up at the ceiling for who knows how long, all while contemplating how little I've accomplished in my life. Depression sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 139

Charming

By lordoftheweird - 31/05/2022 14:00 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 111

Oblivious

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 06:00

Today, a couple convinced me I should ask out their daughter I went to school with, because it’s "obvious" we like each other. I do have a crush on her, so I decided to bravely go for it. She didn’t just say no, it was, “Ew, no, weirdo.” All her parents could say was, “Wow, we misjudged that, our bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 121

Likely story

By thenerd - 24/03/2021 02:00

Today, I was doing an online live exam with the camera on when the power suddenly went out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 75

Landscaping

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband discovered our neighbour's fence was over our property line by 6 feet and kicked up a fuss about moving the fence. It turns out my husband can’t measure for shit. The fence is actually inside the neighbour's property, and he insisted we move it. There is now no room to park my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 465

Are they wrong?

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 09:00 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, I slipped fell down an entire flight of stairs in front of literally everyone, and after getting back up, I tripped down another flight. Then, instead of silently walking away, I started laughing like a maniac and now everyone probably thinks I'm dumb, clumsy, and crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 187

Big announcement?

By Great first impression - 07/09/2023 16:00

Today, I met my SO's best friend for the first time. He gave us both a big smile and hug, and congratulated us on the pregnancy. Except… I'm just overweight, not pregnant. The entire two hour drive to his house was spent with me trying to hold back tears, and a very awkward silence between them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 290

"Your text here"

By Rerere - 24/02/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I gave my friend what I thought was the perfect birthday gift, a personalized mug with her favourite quote. When she opened it, she looked confused so I explained. Then she said, "I’ve never ever said that." I realized I'd printed a quote from a completely different friend. I awkwardly told her, “Well, now you have something new to say!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 603

By Anonymous - 28/08/2015 05:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 336

You deserved it 2 605

I need my own place

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was finally about to hook up with the girl I’ve been crushing on forever. My piss-drunk roommate burst through my door butt ass naked and yelled, “Party time, bitches!” Now she thinks I’m some perv that tried to rope her into a three-way. I tried to explain and apologize, but she's blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 115

Runs in the family

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my now ex sent his mommy to come get his shit outta my house after we split. I had to physically restrain myself from choking the bitch after she said it was my fault he cheated, and got someone else pregnant, because I “should’ve paid more attention to him.” Fuck her and him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 169

Read the room

By Anonymous - 04/06/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Sunderland

Today, I took my two kids to a restaurant with a graffiti-themed wall and took some lovely pictures that I promptly posted to family on social media. I didn't notice until a couple of hours later it said "ANAL?" in huge writing behind my dear child's head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 920

He giveth and he taketh away

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, someone at work left 10 unopened beers after hours. I’m not much of a drinker, but free is free, so I took them home during my lunch break. After work, I left my new phone on top of my car, forgot about it, drove off, and it smashed in the middle of the road. Looks like I’m drinking those beers tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 565

Weird encounter

By No date for me - 29/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 131

20/20

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 00:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 510

Deep fried eggs

By Anonymous - 09/07/2022 18:00

Today, after I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago, I didn't think much of it since we haven't spoken, I went out on a date last night with an old friend, came back home and went to sleep… When I got up for work, I went out to my car to find someone had egged it. It still won't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 139

Magic!

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 15:00 - Ireland

Today, we had a family gathering at my mom's house. I offered to bring dessert, and I was very proud of my homemade cheesecake. As I set it on the table, my uncle decided to do a magic trick with it and make it disappear onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 86

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 213

New diagnosis just dropped

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after years of problems with my chest, spine, and gut, my doctor asked if I always suck my stomach in trying to look thinner. As he said it, I realised I do it all the time. Apparently I’ve been doing it for so long, I’ve given myself Hourglass Syndrome. It’s a real thing; look it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 183

Time to switch to AirBuds

By Frank - 25/10/2023 14:00

Today, I attempted to untangle a pair of headphones. Somehow, in the process, I managed to tie them into a knot so complicated that it's now a permanent part of my life in the "great big box of mystery cables that lives in the garage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 359

I don't need a Xanny to feel better

By Paprika - 12/05/2021 04:01

Today, my psychiatrist prescribed Xanax. I thought that was a little extreme and that my anxiety wasn't bad enough for that. Within the next hour, I had 2 panic attacks. I guess I'm worse off than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 132

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The Top

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865 795

You deserved it 95 125

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 614

You deserved it 7 541

Random

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 191

You deserved it 2 876

Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 469

You deserved it 36 387

Today, I was fired from the job I've had for 15 years. My boss recently hired his daughter as a senior manager and she made several cuts because, as she put it, the sales team was "too old and lame". I didn't know being a young bitch was a requirement to work at a furniture warehouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 015

You deserved it 146

Today, my son turned 18. He now calls me by my first name instead of "dad" and refuses to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 777

You deserved it 570

Today, after waiting a year, I asked a coworker who I like to work out at the gym with me. She said yes. I figured this would be the perfect place to show off my body and impress her. In every exercise we did, she lifted more weights than I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 2 820

Today, I was speaking with my therapist about future romantic endeavors. I'm currently separating from my husband of three years. I feel it's unlikely I will ever date again, and I've developed a phobia of sex over the past year. It's so severe that I cannot even masturbate. Destined to die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 151