The Top

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Friends in need…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I made a trip that would usually takes three hours, but took over five thanks to holiday traffic, to comfort my best friend after another breakup with her horrible boyfriend. We'd planned to go and watch the fireworks; instead she completely ghosted me in this strange town so she and him could "work things out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 117

Bizarre Love Triangle

By SalemSyfer - 25/01/2021 16:57 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I found out that one of my best friends likes the girl that I like. What's funny is that my best friend is also a girl, and has a better chance with her than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 834

You deserved it 162

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 22:00

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 100

Where am I?

By Lost - 18/07/2026 12:00 - France - Paris

Today, out of desperation, I had to fight my social anxiety in order ask a stranger for directions in a new city. She gave me a detailed answer, and I thanked her, then walked the wrong way for 15 minutes because I was too embarrassed to admit I’d understood none of it past the first sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 325

Body issues

By Anonymous - 17/05/2022 00:01

Today, I tried to encourage my spouse to come with me and work out a bit, figuring it would help us both get be healthier and be something to do together. I got told she had no desire to get healthy or look attractive, and that I should find a "Fuck buddy" instead. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 197

Get it where you can

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 384

Shitheads

By Robert - 06/02/2021 20:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since I hired a 17 year-old guy to work at my store. Three of his friends decided to come in today and "prank" him by all three taking a shit in one toilet and clog it. The toilet overflowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 91

My love language is…

By BlueBirdWings - 31/05/2019 02:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 327

Gonna need more details, please

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 02:01

Today, I learned my husband thinks that our 10-year relationship has been a "step above mediocre" since 8 years ago, when we got married, and his family melted down that our wedding didn't happen their way, and thus began their undermining of our relationship. He believes it's "no one's fault." Uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 134

House of pain

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, I dropped my phone in the bathtub and had to spend the whole night trying to make the speakers work again. On top of that, while I was cleaning the bedding I discovered that my bed had grown a black mold farm and I have been sleeping on it for God knows how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 856

No, you do it!

By Anonymous - 20/02/2021 08:01

Today, despite being hearing impaired, I just spent an hour on the phone with Comcast setting up my mom's internet, because my sister who hears fine is "too busy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 96

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 10:00 - United States - Big Lake

Today, I either have to shit my brains out on the hour every hour like clockwork, or stop taking my medicine and go back to suffering debilitating PTSD. Regardless, I’m spending half of my day locked in a small space and unable to live freely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 123

You must be kidding me

By SingleAndHomeless - 22/05/2022 18:00

Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923

You deserved it 150

I'm a lover, not a fighter

By Anonymous - 04/01/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught a man screwing my girlfriend in my house so I lost my temper and hit him right in the jaw. He wasn’t hurt, not even a bruise. I meanwhile have a broken finger and a sprained wrist because, as he put it, “You really don’t know how to throw a punch, like… at all.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 264

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 17:01 - Netherlands

Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 237

Kick him out

By Hot hot hot - 04/08/2023 22:00

Today, my two children and I are spending the night in our SUV until God knows when, all because we walked in on a young lady bouncing up and down on their father on our bed. Did I mention our SUV’s A/C doesn’t work? It’s 90 degrees outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 170

Self-sabotage

By DumbHead - 15/08/2026 03:00 - India - Chennai

Today, I really like my job and need it for sustenance. Despite that, my brain constantly finds ways to screw up my job. Outside of work, all my friends refer to me as "The Genius" or the "brilliant one". But at work, I'm a dunce. Why brain, why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 205

By Carolina R-h - 20/06/2019 04:45

Today, after driving 900 miles, the tongue on my trailer broke ten miles away from home. I was stuck on the side of the road for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 144

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 02:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, it seems that I've gained so much weight that not even my iPhone can recognize my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 390

Ill gotten gains suspected

By Anonymous - 23/08/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my nosy mom opened my mail and saw how much I have in my account. She confiscated my debit card because she’s convinced no one could save that much working part time at Burger King and is demanding I confess where so much money came from. I'm moving out. Fuck her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 55

You must conform!

By Anonymous - 12/08/2023 06:00 - United States - Eagle Mountain

Today, and for the past year, my sisters have been guilt-tripping me for not giving their kids some cousins to hang out with. I hate kids and I don’t feel bad, but it’s starting to get annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 113

Helping hand

By Betriz - 14/08/2023 06:00

Today, I walked in on my live-in sister masturbating my husband. He currently has injuries on both arms and they’re both in a cast. She told me he was “horny” and needed to “take some pressure off” so she wanted to “help” because she "was home at the time.” They both seriously see nothing wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 166

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss, a true knobhead, bought the house next door to mine. Now not only does he ruin my life at work, I might have to see him and talk to him when I’m not at work as well. He once sent me home from work because he said my red tie clashed with my suit and made me look unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 84

They tried to make me go to rehab

By Anonymous - 31/08/2026 00:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my family finally managed to convince my useless junkie brother to go to rehab. Unfortunately, the stress of dealing with his bullshit has caused my mother, who's been sober 20 years, to relapse. Now we're starting the process all over again with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 63

Jed Bartlet?

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that the best way to remember when my wife of 17 years and I last got intimate was to remember which American president was in power at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 204

Alexa, play "What difference does it make?" by The Smiths

By tarah - 10/03/2021 21:30

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after finding out my parents are divorced. Same reason my last three girlfriends broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 144

Silver linings

By KANCHI - 02/06/2022 14:00 - India - Gurgaon

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the middle of great sex when he suddenly called out his ex's name. Just before I decided to yell at him and throw him out of my room, I realised he performed better when he yelled her name. So, I let him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 763

Bigmouth strikes again and again

By O Boy - 28/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, my coworker left a tiny mess in the break room. I cleaned it up and jokingly said, "Your mother isn't here to clean up after you." She started crying. I forgot her mom died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 306

Needy smol bean baby

By He's special - 29/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my cat keeps walking into my room and screaming at me to pay attention to him. When I try to do so, he moves away. Then he yells at me from a distance. I don't wanna play this game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 188

Hypocrisy

By Anonymous - 02/05/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 221

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 887

You deserved it 2 669

Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 288

Random

Today, I left my desk to go to the bathroom. I arrived back at my desk to a large package of SlimQuick packets. Guess my coworkers think I need to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 531

You deserved it 3 600

Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 726

You deserved it 5 889

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 611

You deserved it 22 139

Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 189

You deserved it 3 353

Today, after months of my (now ex) boyfriend telling me he wished I was blonde with big boobs, I finally retaliated with "I wish you were a redhead with a big dick, but you don't see me complaining." He cried and said I should love him for who he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 759

You deserved it 348

Today, the woman I left my wife for says she doesn’t wanna date me because she "sees me as a best friend” and “You just got divorced, it’s kinda awkward.” I caught feelings for this woman, tried to fight it for months and finally caved in, only to be told she sees me as a platonic friend. My wife won’t take me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 2 294