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Hey, original poster here.. He wasnt trying to see me naked. We have a shower curtain where u can see out if ur in the shower but cant see in if your out. And i did almost die because i cracked my head open.

By Uriyahu - 20/09/2010 22:11 - United States

Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 175

You deserved it 3 247

By Nice - 01/05/2012 13:58 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 096

You deserved it 5 045

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I called a wrong number. Calling back the right person, I began a long story about how I'd just called the wrong number. It was the wrong number lady again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 856

You deserved it 39 578

By OmniVore - 25/02/2010 09:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 387

You deserved it 42 837

By ElizaZee - 19/09/2013 01:45 - United States - Malvern

Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 004

You deserved it 3 436

ElizaZee tells us more.

ElizaZee 9

Friday 18 October 2013 1:57

Hi, I'm the OP. Anyway, from what we've pieced together based on the accounts of family and friends, his girlfriend stayed with him for five years because she was a gold digger. My brother is fairly rich, and he always gave her expensive jewelry because he loved her so much. She would always wear the jewelry, but then it would mysteriously disappear after a few months. We suspect she was selling it, and basically using him. Also, we didn't think she stayed faithful to him, but he never listened. I guess she was off loving another man while my brother was unsuspectingly giving her jewelry that she could then sell. In other words, she's a bitch, and it's a good thing overall that she said no.

By jack - 08/10/2012 18:36 - United States - Mcnabb

Today, my girlfriend of three months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 017

You deserved it 2 545

By A2 - 28/06/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 997

You deserved it 4 983

By danii - 04/10/2011 01:19 - Reserved

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 284

You deserved it 54 796

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 935

You deserved it 48 835

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 11:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that the mother of his children, from whom he is not divorced yet, is moving back into his house because she broke up with her boyfriend and has nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 668

You deserved it 8 350

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 157

You deserved it 3 077

By brylynn - 26/08/2012 01:58 - United States

Today, I fainted during my sister's wedding because my dress was too tight. When I woke up, she slapped me hard across the face. Why? Because I "took all the attention away" from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 186

You deserved it 7 795

Romance

By Anonymous - 17/07/2012 16:20 - United States - Palmdale

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 182

You deserved it 9 648

By gnownayrgnow - 08/05/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 911

You deserved it 5 692

By dirtyclothess - 02/05/2011 00:01

Today, my mom informed me that she doesn't wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to "save money". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 957

You deserved it 8 168

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 6 608

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 965

You deserved it 9 374

By happy birthday to me - 05/12/2013 05:14 - United States

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 772

You deserved it 3 142

By awesome - 05/01/2012 17:13 - United States

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 718

You deserved it 4 618

By Maggie - 10/12/2011 16:45 - Canada

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 445

You deserved it 3 989

By OhJoy_777 - 08/07/2014 08:05

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 973

You deserved it 5 477

OhJoy_777 tells us more.

OhJoy_777 5

Wednesday 9 July 2014 11:09

As some of you failed to notice (thanks to those that defended me) I did not meet him on Tinder. I met him in the real world like a normal person. My friend showed me his profile on Tinder and how do I know its him? One of the pictures he used was one I took of him. So am I meant to Psycho stalk every guy I like in the future in case he is a lier? I am still thinking about my next move.