The Top

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Sussy Baka

By boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 168

Long time gone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 18:01

Today, I haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week, after being in a relationship for 7 years with her. She'd called me, saying she had to care for her ex-husband because he had suffered a heart attack. Guess we're over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 165

Inflation woes

By DevoutOccamist - 31/10/2022 00:00

Today, after I got a great job at my asking salary, my boss then quit without telling me my salary was maxed out. I learned this when, two years in a row, I got a 1% raise because I'm redlined. With inflation, my take-home pay has dropped by 15% in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 157

Flipped the bird

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 05:59

Today, a client walked into my store with a duck in her hands. I had to explain to her that she couldn't bring the bird shopping with her. We got a 1-star review. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 145

Stop stealing Kias!

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I watched a video of the absolute dumbest and most dangerous TikTok trends, and I practically lost all my faith in humanity. Then, when I remembered that almost all of these people are/were around my age (I'm eighteen), and whatever faith in humanity I had left after watching the video completely vanished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 283

It's called fashion Dave, look it up

By Bogrbon - 21/04/2020 14:00

Today, since we can’t go out due to the quarantine, my wife decided she wanted to shave my back with a razor. Two hours later, I have a sore back and I look like I'm wearing the front half of the worlds ugliest sweater vest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 339

Human! Come quick!

By He got a lot of treats for that - 10/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 152

So selfish

By Anonymous - 26/04/2020 14:00

Today, my family yelled at me for being a "selfish disappointment." My crime? Not being able to help my sister's boyfriend do his homework while I'm working on my class finals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 136

Step on the gas

By Anonymous - 12/03/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I parked in a disabled bay so I could drop my son off at his appointment. My son uses crutches and has a blue badge. As I was trying to leave, an absolute Karen started chewing my ass for using a disabled bay while “not looking disabled”, then lay under my wheels to stop me leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 90

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 568

Hell no!

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 219

Rise and shine

By Anonymous - 29/04/2020 08:00

Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 574

You deserved it 285

Olde timey reddish flagge

By Red flag? - 22/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was all set to attend my first renaissance faire ever. I took forever customizing the perfect costume and I couldn’t wait. My boyfriend on the other hand was pissed that it was too revealing, so he left me standing at the front gate, refused to give me my ticket, and went in without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 105

You can't win

By fatty fatfuck - 10/05/2020 17:00

Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 314

You deserved it 233

This is fine

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00

Today, it's been over 3 months since I've had a day off. I suppose that's what happens when you run someone else's business, run your own business, and have a child. I make $410 a week. Rent is $400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 203

Snooping around

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 20:00

Today, I found out the heartbreaking truth of why my husband won’t have sex with me. He cheated, got an STD, and is now waiting for it to clear up before he touches me again. When I confronted him, he flipped out and wrecked the house because I invaded his privacy by going into his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 104

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 20:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 416

Streaky

By Anonymous - 02/09/2021 02:00

Today, my 3 year-old saw the stretch marks on my stomach and proudly exclaimed, "Bacon!" After talking with my husband, he admitted that he agreed with our son's evaluation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 174

STOP. IT. NOW.

By Anonymous - 01/09/2021 22:01

Today, it's been four days since I told my husband how much I dislike the term "baby mama". It's also been four days since he started calling me "my baby mama". We don't even have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 154

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 852

**** you, Susan

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 10:00

Today, I washed all the dishes that had been piling in the sink over the week, and set them in the drying rack before I left for school. I came home to see that my dad’s girlfriend had put them back into the sink, along with her dirty dishes. She told me to re-wash them. Why? “They didn’t smell clean.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 128

Plans

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 11:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex asked me to take the kids for the day, which was odd as it's her weekend. My son let slip that she was getting ready for a surprise birthday party, but I wasn't supposed to know. As it's my birthday in 3 days, I was touched that she'd planned something. Turns out it's a surprise party for her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 509

Galaxy brain take

By Oragami - 12/06/2020 14:07

Today, a customer told me it was bullshit we couldn't serve coffee because of the COVID restrictions, and added that the protests and riots happening are because people are bored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 262

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 108

Plumes

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 06:00

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 186

Thanks UPSDHLFML

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 04:59

Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 82

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 1 007

Mind your beeswax, Karen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 185

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 02:02

Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 309

All I want for Christmas is free healthcare

By effmylife - 25/12/2022 00:00

Today, I’ve been battling an aggressive form of cancer for the past 3 years. Due to the financial strain, I started a GoFundMe. I’m grateful for what I got, but a friend also started one for her dog’s surgery and got thousands of dollars. Guess the dog is more important than my kids having a mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 219

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 230

You deserved it 4 362

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 156

Random

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 569

You deserved it 3 257

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 537

You deserved it 8 126

Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 504

You deserved it 3 445

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 678

You deserved it 7 942

Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 4 901

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 129