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Long haul

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I’ve had an irregular period my whole life. I was on birth control and took out my IUD in January. I’ve had my period ever since. It’s going on 5 months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 102

Touching story

By Kahlilah Kilgore - 20/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was half asleep when my cat came over to cuddle. I was petting her in the dark when I felt what I thought was a patch of matted fur under her neck, as if she had been injured and bleeding. Alarmed, I felt for that spot again and found myself holding her tail. What I'd felt was in fact my cat's anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 618

Golden child

By Lennell - 24/08/2022 02:00

Today it's my twin brother's and my birthday, and like every year people wish him a happy birthday instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 117

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 10/12/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst showing my kids how to replace a light bulb safely, I gave myself and electric shock, and dropped the bulb. Twice in a row. In hindsight I should have let my husband do all the DIY-based educating, since I now have a glass shard in my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 632

Piss poor excuse, dude

By Anonymous - 27/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 8 years is still cheating on me with the girl that he was caught sexting on my birthday back in July. His response was that if I didn't hang out with my friends on the weekends, he wouldn't have to find someone to entertain him all week. We live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 280

Oddball

By Fatherless - 24/06/2021 18:00

Today, the guy I’ve been dating told me to lose his number and never see him again all because I told him I grew up without a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 83

Financial control

By Brando - 01/09/2022 06:00

Today, I woke up to a video call from my entitled father, who was fuming and yelling at me for buying a PS5. With MY money. I don't even live with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 104

Enjoy what you enjoy

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 614

Still alive?

By Anonymous - 07/01/2020 01:00

Today, after finally having the guts to confess to a guy I have liked for a year now and him saying he also likes me and then asking me out, I went out of my way and traveled 4 hours to meet him. He didn't show up and never apologized. I never heard anything from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 706

You deserved it 303

Wild

By harrassed - 11/09/2022 02:30 - Australia

Today, my housemate yelled at me because I'm "ignoring" her and it makes her feel "rejected and hated." Last week, she yelled at me for saying hello, and told me not to speak to her unless she spoke to me first, because she was "stressed out" and "can't be disturbed." I can't take her mood swings any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 124

Good boy

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom bought me a puppy. I’m single, I work 14 hour days, my life is in no way suitable for pet ownership, but mom won’t take him back because she thinks I need to learn adult responsibility. I’m a senior technician with a team of 17 people, I couldn’t be more responsible if I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 107

Trip Advisor rating: 5 turds

By cacheson - 05/03/2020 03:02

Today, I checked into a hotel for a work trip. When I walked in, the sheets and bath mat were stained, and there was soap-encrusted hair stuck in my folded towel. When I got back later in the day, all my stuff was gone because they apparently thought I'd checked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 137

No kidding

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 22:01

Today, I congratulated my best mate and his wife on their third pregnancy in three years. It then dawned on me that they've had sex more times in three years of marriage than I have had in six years of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 260

Dark humor

By Anonymous - 14/07/2021 04:01

Today, whilst I was setting up a room for a paediatric first aid course, some of the students arrived. At that precise moment I dropped one of the dolls, and for whatever reason, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oops, I killed the baby." Death glares ensued very quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 292

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 542

Fear factor

By I need new friends - 11/10/2022 16:00 - United States

Today, I told my friends that I have haphephobia, the fear of being touched. One of them said, "Why don't you try facing your fears?" and they all held me down and tickled me until they realized my pleas for them to stop were actually genuine when I stopped laughing and started crying… which took several minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 168

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out my “friend” runs several incredibly racist and homophobic Christian nationalist social media blogs. That’s really funny considering that I, a black woman, have been in a relationship with her AND her husband for nearly five years now and wasn’t told any of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 196

Stop the steal

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 16:01

Today, my son admitted to maxing out my credit card, gambling on a some scam website that a dumbass streamer was promoting. He's only 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 428

Promises, promises

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 839

It's not you, it's me

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 22:00

Today, after my wife had been bleeding when we have sex, the doctors sent her to hospital. While she was there overnight, I decided to masturbate at home. Turns out it was me. I have blood in my semen and was shooting it into her during sex. Glad she’s OK, but what the hell is wrong with my balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 181

The mouthfeel

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 04:00

Today, I went to the doctor, who confirmed I have a minor infection 'down there'. It’s not sexually transmitted, but since there were no obvious symptoms, he asked how I knew something was wrong, I just couldn’t tell him my husband was going down on me and noticed it tasted different from normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 274

Temptation… barbecue?

By being loyal sucks - 05/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to a colleague's house for a barbecue. Another colleague's wife was there, and when I say there were sparks between us, there were SPARKS! Later, her husband discreetly informed me that they're in an open relationship. I just wish I didn't have my boring unadventurous wife at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 826

Indoctrination

By This is why people are abandoning religion. - 06/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 160

Explain yourself

By Embarassed - 13/08/2021 18:01

Today, I received pictures on my phone of my husband leaving a hotel with a young lady. Upon confronting him about it, he told me it was his “twin brother.” When I brought up that he was an only child, he said, "Stop believing shit people tell you unless it’s coming from me" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 117

What a tool

By Anonymous - 28/04/2020 08:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me for the first time in years, because of the whole Covid-19 situation. Did he want to make sure I am okay? No. In fact, he didn't even ask about me. He just seemed to consider this the perfect opportunity to patronize me some more, and felt the need to tell me to "keep calm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 277

Secrecy

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 04:00

Today, my dad caught me having sex with my secret boyfriend, so he threw him naked into the street. I’m 28 years-old and it’s my house. This kind of bullshit is exactly the reason I kept my boyfriend a secret and why I got a mortgage I can barely afford, just so I didn’t live with my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 268

You deserved it 416

Unrequited

By Cannneverwinsmh - 30/09/2025 15:00

Today, I once again listened as the girl I've loved for the past three years ranted about how she’s gonna be single forever and give up on dating. She asked, “Isn’t there one guy out there, just ONE GUY who will love me and cherish me?” When I brought up that I, once again, would love to do so, she rejected me; AGAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 614

So romantic

By XRP123 - 19/11/2022 02:00

Today, I finished negotiating my divorce with my ex-wife who is a lawyer. I spent more on legal fees than she has made from working in any of the last 5 years. It's hard for a lawyer to make so little in Canada, I'm glad that law degree, which I paid for, saved her so much money in legal fees. I hate all lawyers. Scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 175

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 00:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was feeling pretty cute in a black dress. Apparently, that makes me "emo" and an "online dater". FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 130

Insult to injury

By Kellie82 - 11/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, the homewrecker who stole my boyfriend had the audacity to text me that I have to pay her medical bills from the pounding I gave her when I caught her and my boyfriend red-handed. She doesn’t care that I will now be a single mom of two kids and my only source of income is gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 1 045

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The Top

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 1 992

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 738

You deserved it 3 288

Random

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 566

You deserved it 2 459

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 885

You deserved it 4 705

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 705

You deserved it 38 931

Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at work, so I decided to turn on the radio and wait in my nice warm car. I woke up two hours later with twelve missed calls from my boss and a dead car battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 490

You deserved it 38 483

Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 154

You deserved it 3 895

Today, I’m convinced my mother in law comes over every holiday just to make me miserable. She comes in, criticizes me food, snarks then ignores the kids. I dread every holiday and spend it getting drunk and casting F-you glances at my husband. Is it wrong to buy her a casket for the next holiday? Is it really? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 178