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OP here! I did laugh. That's all there was to do. It just caught me completely off guard, I was expecting something sweet or romantic. But it's definitely something that he would do. And no, I couldn't smell it because I have a sinus condition that prevents me from being able to smell- he just didn't know it at the time.

Get out of there!

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 21:30 - United States - Durham

Today, after I can't count how many times, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to break MORE things in our home, because I asked him not to let our son speak to me rudely. His response, "He said 'OK' so you should have shut up." Basically, he's raising my kid to treat me like he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 661

By DexiCola - 11/08/2016 17:02 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my manager where the clearly-foreign customers were from. She said she didn't know, but she thought they were from ISIS. She wasn't trying to be funny, she thought ISIS was a country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 880

You deserved it 986

By Anonymous - 02/08/2016 14:42 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 444

You deserved it 1 237

Lingering

By Evjoel - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Bermuda - Hamilton

Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 950

You deserved it 1 172

Lavish is out

By INeedAJob - 17/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my sugar daddy-turned-boyfriend can no longer support my lavish lifestyle and told me to get a job. Ever since he divorced his wife and kids for me, he has to pay a hefty child support and alimony for them. This is way more than I bargained for. Now I can’t break up with him or he’ll think I’m a gold digger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 2 281

By Bad Uncle - 13/05/2018 19:00

Today, I came home to my mother, wife, sister, and certain family members cussing me out. My daughter and niece told them that I took them to visit and pray at The Church of Satan. Girls! It's The Church of Saint Anne! FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 389

You deserved it 464

By why?? - 24/05/2016 13:29 - United States

Today, I think I've finally gotten past the food poisoning that caused me to puke so violently that I pulled muscles in my abdomen and chest. Unfortunately, some of that vomit hung around long enough to give me a sinus infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 1 377

By smidgit - 19/05/2016 17:32

Today, after many days of messing around with wording and pictures, a huge and expensive printed card order came in to the office. I spelled the first word wrong. I can't get a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 911

You deserved it 9 880

Fit as a fiddle

By Anonymous - 09/07/2018 20:30

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 040

You deserved it 441

First impressions

By wiseoldone - 03/02/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I'm going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out. I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 089

You deserved it 8 233

By Anonymous - 06/09/2018 15:00

Today, my girlfriend turned down my marriage proposal because the ring I gave her was bigger than the one her sister got at her proposal. Apparently she wouldn't be able to brag to her sister without "looking like a bitch for having a bigger ring". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 286

You deserved it 288

By fuckingcool - 14/12/2016 20:59 - United States - Ortonville

Today, my friend was complaining to me that she's gained 20 pounds and it's all gone to her butt and boobs. Meanwhile, I've also gained 20 pounds, and it's gone straight to my stomach. She looks better than she did before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 035

You deserved it 737

Snappy

By DamnDogs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 757

You deserved it 5 750

Slacker

By UnderAcheiver - 26/08/2016 20:46 - United States - Cypress

Today, my new supervisor arrived after my old one had transferred away and we had a quick evaluation meeting. As it turns out, I'm not actually a good employee like I thought. I just had a shitty boss who didn't care enough to let me know I wasn't meeting company standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 595

You deserved it 1 689

By AndI'veHadChildren - 10/10/2017 23:15 - United States

Today, I was passing a kidney stone. I had to go to the ER but had no one to take me, so I drove myself. They made me wait 3 hours because it was suspicious that someone in "so much pain" could drive. It was the largest stone that doctor had seen in his career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 660

You deserved it 248

By Manly Sneeze - 07/07/2016 11:34

Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 1 534

Yes or No?

By Anonymous - 06/02/2020 18:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 919

You deserved it 325

Blending Nemo

By hhaghigh - 14/03/2020 00:08 - United States

Today, I was draining the water from my fishbowl out into the kitchen sink. The fish was still in it and decided to go with the flow, literally, right into the garburator. I was too scared to stick my hand down there to save it; instead I panicked and turned the garburator on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 2 609

#priceless

By Clorpy - 30/03/2018 07:00

Today, I was at the Kings Avalanche game in Denver. Anže Kopitar scored a hat trick and people threw hats in. Someone ripped my own hat off my head and tossed it on the ice. It was a gift from my dead grandparents with my name stitched onto it. I’ve had it for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 049

You deserved it 403

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Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 939

You deserved it 8 377

Choose your fave!

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 150

Today, I found out I'm getting a pay cut, a week after I told my boss I need a raise or second job just to afford bills. I made the company 10k last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 107

Today, I went to my son's friend's birthday party and felt really proud of giving a great gift. It just so happened that I regifted the same gift that his friend's mother gave to my son the month before, because I forgot to check the name on the bag. It looked like she was about to faint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 805

Today, I was interacting with someone on a video game, and the topic somehow got switched to mental illness. When I told him about my problems, he was very sympathetic and understanding. A complete stranger cares more about me than my actual family. I'm not sure if I should be happy or crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 158

Today, I had a Tinder date with a girl who lied about her age; she was 22 but had told me she was 37. She used the word “like” seven times in the same sentence and and announced she expected me to pay her entire bill. I just walked away, so she threw a waiter's tray at the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 266