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By KillerChipmunk - 10/10/2016 23:54 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I called maintenance for the fifth time about our sink, which leaks as much water from under the handle as comes out the spout. Apparently, they'd rather come up and tighten it every week than replace the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 872

You deserved it 771

KillerChipmunk tells us more.

KillerChipmunk 15

Friday 14 October 2016 21:30

Hey, OP here! First published post! I hadn't actually told them that I think it's the washer yet, next time I complain, I'm going to let them know. If they still don't fix it properly, I'm going to tell them I'll to do it myself. I've done some simple plumbing fixes like that before, so I don't think it'll be too hard or long a process. The main problem with fixing it myself is I'm in college and it's essentially an off campus dorm room (owned by the school, which kind of helps explain the quick fix mentality), and I don't have any tools here.

By mallyboo - 01/10/2016 14:38 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I discovered that you should always check the litter box before vacuuming stray litter outside of it after my cat burst out from the box mid-piss and skittered around the house still pissing after I put the vacuum hose behind the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 573

You deserved it 3 565

By anonymous - 20/09/2016 22:49 - United States - Avon

Today, I tried to jokingly hold the door shut so my friend, who I'd seen walking down the hall to our class, couldn't get in. It was funny, until my new teacher yelled "Open the damn door!" from the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 389

You deserved it 12 340

Still got game

By Anonymous - 27/09/2009 12:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 499

You deserved it 2 156

By stupidteacher - 05/07/2016 15:02 - China - Guiyang

Today, I gave a presentation in class. I felt pretty good about it, until afterwards when I was told I lost points for communication because I'd been chewing gum. I wasn't, I just have a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 411

You deserved it 968

No Chick-Hating on Easter!

By Anonymous - 01/04/2018 19:00

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend of 13 years. He broke up with me because "Chicks can't propose, that's gay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 443

You deserved it 743

By StupidCar - 07/02/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 093

You deserved it 4 887

By pop_rox - 30/01/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said, "Man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says, "I'm a member of that church…" OOPS. Silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 316

You deserved it 28 721

By sel2207 - 06/01/2009 03:27 - France

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 203

You deserved it 2 577

By toot_toot_turtle - 17/03/2016 03:41 - United States - Monroe

Today, at my brother's baseball practice, two 6 year-old girls wanted a piggy back ride. I get this a lot due to my size, so after telling their mom how good I was with kids, I let one get on my back. I then promptly tripped over a puppy and face planted, resulting in a crying child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 903

You deserved it 2 706

toot_toot_turtle tells us more.

toot_toot_turtle 8

Monday 21 March 2016 3:47

I forgot to add that both the kid and puppy are fine. My pride? I will never be able to go to my brothers baseball games again. D:

By frustrated girlfriend - 29/12/2016 03:30 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my boyfriend and I spent all day preparing an amazing meal for my extended family, and then 3 hours before dinner his crazy mother forced him home because she felt "excluded". He's spent the past 3 days with her. There's no way for me to keep him and get rid of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 308

You deserved it 478

By Adios Career - 26/11/2015 16:27 - United States

Today, a great job I have been wanting to apply for opened for applications. Turns out it requires a clean background with no credit issues. I recently got a notice saying my wife and I are being sued over an unpaid $140 medical bill that she neglected to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 165

You deserved it 2 163

By MJB - 02/04/2017 22:00

Today, as a 17-year-old, after having gone to the doctor to about some unusual hair loss, it turns out I simply have crappy genetics, and should expect to be fully bald within a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 078

You deserved it 418

By Kerkie - 25/01/2018 01:30 - United States - North Kingstown

Today, my 12 year-old step-child told me he’s been deliberately wetting - and sometimes crapping - the bed because he’s too lazy to get up, and knows it’s someone else’s problem to clean up after him. It’s been going on for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 639

You deserved it 840

By Cress - 11/02/2018 19:00

Today, my dad asked what I wanted for my birthday. The only thing I wanted was the complete series of Dragon Ball Z on DVD. He just sighed, shook his head, and asked me to pick something normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 325

You deserved it 2 012

Amnesiac

By sexytime - 02/09/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 977

You deserved it 4 258

Truth bomb

By cdaniel2 - 12/02/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting at home, venting to my parents about how I never get asked out by any of the guys at school. My Dad's words of wisdom were, "Don't worry, looks don't matter so much in college. Once they've had a few beers in them, they'll date anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 308

You deserved it 4 649

By SleepyMommy - 08/05/2016 17:05 - United States - Pomona

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 445

You deserved it 1 078

By raybandy - 24/01/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 291

You deserved it 2 375

Overkill or fair?

By Pineapple does go on pizza - 24/08/2018 01:30

Today, I thought my boyfriend was kidding when he said he'd dump me if I actually ate pineapple on pizza. I ordered it. I ate it. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 228

You deserved it 1 207

By RandomTurtle109 - 19/03/2016 12:40 - United States - White River Junction

Today, I woke up late, got ready within 10 minutes, and drove to work. I walked in and apologized to my boss. He said, "Go home, it's your day off…" Walk of Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 001

You deserved it 3 631

Get me out of this shithole

By nothing is sacred - 23/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 593

You deserved it 505

By Pizza - 01/08/2013 02:40 - Israël - Tel Aviv

Today, I was delivering pizzas, and mine and many other delivery guys’ dream came true when I knocked and a naked girl opened the door. A 72-year-old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 98

By NeverGonnaGetIt - 27/04/2019 18:00 - United States - Wayne

Today, I went on my 56th job interview since graduating from college 3 months ago. I am 31 years old and I spent 11 years in college. I only graduated with a Bachelor's Degree after all those years, but I am still not qualified for anything due to how long it took me to complete my degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 1 556

Cheesy delight

By blew it - 05/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend, only while I was down there I noticed he had an ungodly amount of dick cheese under his foreskin. He’s now mad at me for blueballing him, even though he’s clearly the one at fault for being a filthy pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 576

You deserved it 417

Fun vacation times

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 476

You deserved it 27 394

By AboutToBeHomeless - 03/11/2016 13:16

Today, I received a letter from my landlord's attorney. It said my landlord is terminating my "verbal" lease with him. Ten years ago, the deal began as rent to own. My landlord is my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 950

You deserved it 765

By Boobs McGee - 31/10/2016 02:48

Today, I should probably throw out my old, torn dress as my boob popped out to say hello to a passing car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 026

You deserved it 2 789

By anonymous - 24/09/2016 13:10 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 188

You deserved it 2 354

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 17:53 - United States - Draper

Today, at the store, I didn't hear the cashier when she asked if I had a loyalty card. She took one look at my naturally bitchy-looking face and muttered "It's my JOB to ask, jeez." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 769

You deserved it 2 113

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The Top

Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 725

You deserved it 1 030

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 509

You deserved it 55 480

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 25 479

Today, I was riding my motorcycle on the highway and wearing all of my gear - boots, gloves, jacket, and full-face helmet. Somehow a bee found the only spot not covered on my body and stung my neck. I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 672

You deserved it 3 002

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 268

Today, I told my boyfriend he looked like a Greek god. He looked confused and said, "Thanks, I guess? But aren’t they all fat and drunk?" I’m dating a man who thinks Greek gods are just overweight party animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 166