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They were definitely playing! They did catch it again, ironically enough, in this little pop-up 'mouse hunt' toy tent thing. I managed to trap it and get it outside safely, though they miss their toy.

By Anonymous - 02/06/2017 11:08

Today, I accidentally covfefe

I agree, your life sucks 2 891

You deserved it 1 621

Social skills

By justfired - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I got fired from my job for not "interacting with customers." That's understandable. The thing is, my job didn't actually include any customer interaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 997

You deserved it 3 265

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 19:27 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my coworker cornered me in the office bathroom and insisted that, because she's been watching me, I use the bathroom too quickly and must not be washing my hands, and that I have to wash them from now on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 317

You deserved it 1 246

Thanks for that

By bride2be - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 524

You deserved it 3 498

By Anonymous - 07/10/2018 03:00 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got to see my fiancé for the first time in 3 months. While we were having sex for the first time, he slipped out and slammed into the back of my vagina, tearing it open. Now I won't stop bleeding, it hurts to pee, and we can't have sex. I won't see him for another 2 months after this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 995

You deserved it 513

By Anonymous - 09/01/2015 21:17 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 205

You deserved it 4 500

Read the small print

By J-Sauce - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Canada - Salmon Arm

Today, a girl I like asked me to a concert, saying she had an extra ticket. I ended up being the third wheel with her and her boyfriend. I had to pay $60 for the ticket too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 172

You deserved it 2 400

Classic

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he had to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me his wife was going into labour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 971

You deserved it 6 372

By WildChildRocker - 28/10/2015 17:00 - United States - New York

Today, I knocked a girl lightly in the head with a prop at a costume party. I apologized profusely to the drama queen as she walked away blinking and holding her head. My boyfriend then told me that she had recently had brain surgery and it was hard for her to even leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 569

You deserved it 7 545

WildChildRocker tells us more.

WildChildRocker 11

Thursday 29 October 2015 20:42

Hi everyone! OP here. We were out at a nightclub for a Halloween event. I was standing at the edge of the dance floor talking to my boyfriend and the girl was behind me where I couldn't see her. I was carrying a cardboard hammer and I moved it and felt it touch something, then turned around and saw this girl cringing. I apologized two or three times and gave her a hug. As some people guessed, I referred to her as a "drama queen" only here, and it was to show what I thought before I knew that she had had surgery; a person who was in good physical health wouldn't have reacted so strongly to such a light tap. I did not hit her on purpose, and I certainly didn't think she was a drama queen after hearing what happened to her. Thanks for the comments!

Dreams can come true

By Anonymous - 19/09/2015 02:08 - United States - Seattle

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 699

You deserved it 1 721

By Sleeping moody - 08/08/2016 04:01 - United States - Hollywood

Today I went to my sleep therapist; I sleep 8 hours a night, but I'm still very tired during the day. I'm divorced, so we decided that I would record myself sleeping to see if I might be snoring. We listened to the tape. Not only was I snoring very loudly, I cry all night in my sleep. FM

I agree, your life sucks 18 481

You deserved it 1 064

By jeezy - 23/02/2009 10:35 - Canada

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 395

You deserved it 3 301

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 15:00 - United States - Peoria

Today, I finally came out to my dad, who is a priest, as gay. He responded by splashing me with holy water to "banish the demon within" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 700

You deserved it 836

Lonely days

By beckbr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 407

You deserved it 30 000

By MrDanito - 28/04/2016 06:21 - Czech Republic - Lysa Nad Labem

Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened, in our open-space office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 603

You deserved it 1 669

How very dare you?

By PainStressLife - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dublin

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 735

You deserved it 3 443

Happy Pride everyone!

By yourclotheslookgay - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Rotherham

Today, my mum visited. Even though I live under my own roof now, I caught her continuing her old habit of throwing out any clothes she thinks make me look "gay". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 001

You deserved it 2 095

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 17:30

Today, while trying to hold the door open on an elevator, I managed to drop something down the elevator shaft. I'm blind, and the something was my white cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 517

You deserved it 223

No good deed…

By busmanhoe - 14/12/2009 11:19 - Norway

Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old woman needed help to get off the bus, so I got up, and helped her off. When I had finally got her down the stairs the bus closed the doors and drove away. I was in the middle of nowhere and the bus drove away with all my things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 972

You deserved it 4 946

Asshole

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 158

You deserved it 3 243

By Quincy_Ethan - 29/08/2014 21:22 - United States - Killeen

Today, my little sister was using my phone to play games. About an hour later, she came to me and said my phone wouldn't work. Turns out my phone had gotten hot and she put it in water to cool it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 224

You deserved it 5 363

Sorry…

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 11:47 - Denmark

Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his phone, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me, "He was so sad that you guys broke up." I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 703

You deserved it 2 507

By Myorafield - 26/10/2016 06:42 - Australia - Glenwood

Today, my sister made a comment about my small boobs. I told her I'm actually a C cup, and she told me she "can't even C them". I just got roasted with a fucking pun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 731

You deserved it 1 345

By ellieinc - 08/08/2016 03:39 - United States - Stacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 994

You deserved it 1 407

By pooraf - 04/08/2016 14:42 - United States - Urbana

Today, I got mugged. I almost felt sorry for him: he got a $15 cell phone, a frozen debit card, a credit card with only $50 of credit left on it, and no cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 380

You deserved it 1 623

By Noname - 10/02/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 872

You deserved it 48 710

Spellcasting and tools

By married to a nerd - 07/06/2018 20:30

Today, I asked my 4-year-old daughter where her father went. She said, "Out to have fun with Zoe." Acting on suspicion, I followed him and did a stakeout. Hours later, I barged in and caught him playing Dungeons and Dragons. "Zoe" is the female wizard he plays as. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 923

You deserved it 4 588

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 002

You deserved it 15 638

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 563

You deserved it 3 679

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 790

You deserved it 5 964

Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 388

You deserved it 6 677

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 751

You deserved it 4 625

Today, I came home from three months off the continent. My parents drove me home, and when we drove past our house, I assumed we were going for a welcome home supper. Instead, we drove to a dilapidated trailer and my parents said, "Welcome home." We used to live in a large, beautiful two-story house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 209