FML - The Follow-Up

For anyone who is interested, she has taken it with good humour and is still laughing about it. It's one of those electronic scales, so I did briefly get her to believe that due to the GFC, the scales would say she was putting on more pounds than kilos before I came clean with the truth.

I called the hospital this morning and was informed by the duty nurse that yes, I definitely should have been told not to drink on the new meds. When I asked why the doc didn't mention it, she replied that "the doctor has been very busy as she's now taken on a management position and she must have forgotten". Fabulous! Happily, my husband's very understanding, and the new guy thinks it's hilaaaaaaaaaaaarious. So right now, I guess it's the lack of shoes and lack of dignity that are the real problems. And yes - I've heard I was a BLAST to drink with last night, until the whole shrub-shoe-booty-text debacle. God, I'm a moron.

This is the OP. He did this because he propositioned sex to me every night when his girlfriend was out of town. I always said no and told him to gtfo. He kicked me out, so I told his girlfriend and showed her the texts.

Hello, OP here! Thank You all for your concern! I'm doing a lot better. I actually ended up passing out three more times before they carted me off to the hospital, where I took a nice nap. I think what did me in was my blood pressure, which to me actually seemed low to give blood. I have normally low blood pressure (96/84 is my average) and it was 100/85, or something like that. They also did not attempt to detain me. As for the amount, they took 2 cups from me, so one of the smaller bags. This is a company that regularly visits my university (not the Red Cross, if it was Red Cross it would be different), and my sorority sister who took care of me had two bags taken from her last year, she's about 5'5" and weighs maybe 170lbs and she nearly passed out. I think the next time I give blood, it will be with RC. They made no attempt to stop me as I went up a flight of stairs, handed my meal card over, and made my way over to the pop machine, which is where I fainted for the first time in my life. Thank You again for your concern, and I'm so glad that I did it.

Hi everyone, it was me that posted this FML! Loving all your comments, and yes, it was a pretty embarrassing moment.

OP Here, and I spend up to 3 hours a day on the computer because I take a computer class and all the homework is online and that's why she turned it off. She called our provider and told them to turn it off, since she didn't know how. I didn't find out until I came home and attempted to do my homework, and by that point, my mom was in a fuss about not being able to get on Facebook. And since I'm her daughter, and clearly know nothing, she refused to believe me. My neighbor is the one who finally convinced her the internet was needed for Facebook.

Hello everyone! Yes, he was joking. I just didn't find that shit funny. And he actually is a good doctor. But to make up for it, he gave me extra time off from work. I don't think he would do that to/for everybody, but I work at that hospital.

They have yet to give me a reason why, I'm still confused as hell.

Theft of property

He didn't actually show him specifically, TJ had his shirt off at the house & my little brother saw his back... He asked what happened & said that TJ got his butt kicked by a girl. It was a harmless joke & look where it got us. So mortifying...

^ Yard sale. My parents always complain that I hoard too much junk (they never get the idea behind why I have so many different controllers for my NES, SNES, Genesis, N64, Wii, PS3, Xbox, Xbox 360, etc)... and demand that I throw away all the controllers and only keep "one or two since that's all you need". And don't get me started on chargers... they think all I need is one single charger to take care of my multitude of laptops and game consoles and cameras... So when they see a 'worthless picture frame' (which I believe had an image of the Bronte sisters as the default on the lock screen the last time I saw it), they think they're doing me a favor by getting me money by selling a 'picture frame [I] just leave laying around on the floor'.

This. This is more of a morality issue than a legal issue. I didn't take it word for word (even though that's hard to do since it's a video game and not a book), I just used the concept.

I'm just gonna comment for the badge :P And yes, she was moving around, due to the bus rattling around (I hope).

I am the OP. Let me explain the situation more in depth since I only had 300 characters to do so before. My husband had lost his car keys, so I gave him my set and I took the spare lock key and the spare ignition key. I needed to get some groceries and he was at work, so I just went. Before I got out of the car to go inside, I put the keys in my sweatshirt pocket and got out. I got my groceries and came back out to the car, and yes it was in the same spot. I reached in my pocket to pull out my keys and only the lock key was there. I unlocked the car and immediately searched both the front seats, under the seats, in the cracks between the seats and even the back seat. I looked under the car and in the ignition too. I retraced my steps in the store three times and then checked my car again. I asked the service desk if anyone turned in a loose key, but no one had. I called my husband but he couldn't leave to pick me up, so I walked 4 miles home. The walk itself wouldn't have been so horrible had I not broken my foot a few months ago; it still bothers me, and there weren't any sidewalks half the way, so I kept twisting my ankle in holes in the ground. After my husband came home from work, he took me back to the store with his keys and I drove home. It wasn't until a week or so later that I actually found the key in the passenger seat, close to where the back of the cushion and the seat of the cushion met. There is no way I could have missed it when I searched for it and I had driven it a handful of times between the incident and when I found it. It literally appeared out of thin air and it still baffles me.

so I planned for her to slip so I could mug her? the amount of logic in this comment is astounding.

Haha I'm glad I entertained you.

OP here... My son is 10 months old. I'm really at my wits' end. He had been a good eater from the start, unlike his older brother who I couldn't get to eat anything either. I set out to feed my kids all organic, home-made, fresh and so forth. I gave up with my first after having spent literally hours a day preparing healthy, nutritious and yes, tasty foods that he wouldn't touch beyond a spoon or two. My two year old grew fine on very little food and now eats the same we do. My younger. however, is tiny for his age - he wears clothes for 3mo (but developing normally, thank God, and the pedi's not concerned). I can only get him to taste a spoon of something and then it's over. But anything he picks up from the floor (bread crumbs, and yes, cat kibble (food), he will eat. And scream when I take it away from him. Maybe he's on a strike or teething or... I don't know. Maybe I should start placing food on the floor for him LOL.

it sucks ass lmao but its kina funny to look at xD

for those saying that I should have stolen laundry soap or similar, i work at a restaurant, this wouldn't be possible

nothing like a shot in my ass after trying to sum up the courage to go out in public won't help

Hey everyone, in case you're wondering, I have NOT sprayed the nests yet (my dad has informed me there are around 10 nests), but I will be sure to record it, because I am an idiot. PS: Thank you all for the helpful comments, I am aware that I should wear long pants and a long shirt. However (for my favorite comment), in Texas, it is hard to find a cheap steel-forged suit of armor, as well as to craft one. More soon, David (iliveintexas, and author of this FML)

OP here. First of all, I'm nineteen. The ninety-nine in my username is just a random number. Not my birth year and not the number of geckos I have (or rather, used to have.) The vibrator wasn't running low on batteries. I had just changed them and, unfortunately for me, it was dying for good. I've had my fear of clowns since I was seven, because of that "IT" movie, so hearing that noise in the dark was pretty scary.

Well, they aren't really liked in the family and I think that its both really rude and sad of them to try and piggy-back their special occasions with mine. My sister in-law and her fiancee got engaged in the waiting room while I was in ACTIVE labour with my daughter and got pissed off that everyone wasn't falling over themselves to congratulate them.

Just so you guys know, I have a whole lot of furniture. I'm pretty sure the cricket was hiding under one of the pieces of furniture, but every time I got near my couch, ottoman, armchair, side table, or bookcase, it stopped chirping. It was pretty hard to tell where it was coming from!

For anyone wondering, he didn't get the cookies. And it was before he started flirting with me... His birthday was coming up soo

OP replies: It was a hell of a night. It "changed" my life.

Thank you, DocBastard. Also, I'm not one of those crazy Americans portrayed on television who feels the need to sue for everything. First off, maintenance is admitting the fixed something wrong. Second, I've made some pretty big mistakes in my life too. Third, I'd rather not put the apartment complex whet I live in any financial turmoil, I like it here and I need a place to live.

Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex. Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol) My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.

Haha I'm OP. Well our door is solid so i couldn't see him. He was supposed to be there soon, so naturally I thought it was him. The mailman looked flustered for a moment (he was an awesome old guy) and then he smiled saying "Wow someone is excited about getting the mail!"

No none. The boring fact is they're just friends, we have a coffee after work now and then, and sometimes go to the bars for a few drinks. My girlfriend usually comes along, but when she doesn't because she's busy, and I still go anyway, it's like WW2.