By weirdfridgelady - 21/9/2018 05:56
Today, after a long shift at work, I got home feeling sick and nauseous. I went to remove the tampon I'd had in all day and go to bed, but I literally uncorked myself. There was blood everywhere... on the floor, all over my legs, even on the walls. Everywhere I look, I find more. FML
Thanks for support and backup. Because I am aware of the risks of TSS but I just simply didn’t have time to change my tampon, and yes I had a pad also. Also the first time it’s happened to me, so just a bad and very messy day, I’m usually much more hygienic with those sorts of things.
By Amanda G Rich - 19/9/2018 03:10 - United States
Today, I have to start wearing adult diapers because I can't stop peeing myself. I'm 22. FML
Amanda G Rich Say more :
Well time to add another fml to the list. I chose the anonymous option....clearly not anonymous. Well I should explain further since it's out in the open now. I've had bladder issues since I was a kid from wetting the bed to CONSTANT UTIs. About a year ago I got a massive infection down there that no doctor could diagnose until finally I found one willing to actually test me properly, the gynecologist...
By 43vera10n3 - 19/9/2018 01:58 - United States - Huntsville
Today, I found out that my best friend, the love of my life, is no longer engaged. He's now married. I wasn't invited. FML
This actually happened a few months ago, and I was more upset that I wasn’t invited cuz my roommate I was good friends with had also just gotten married but didn’t invite me, despite me having been part of the proposal, and I found out that I wouldn’t be able to afford to travel to my brother’s future wedding that I have been invited to. I am moved on now, and while he will always hold a special place...
By Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey - 17/9/2018 02:22
Today, my memory loss hit a new low as I was filling out paperwork and couldn't remember my son's name. FML
OP here. Yes my sons name is as long as mine, but it doesn't make anything easier or harder. My memory comes and goes with good and bad days. Wishing it would get better but not much of a chance there. Bad thing is I'm only 24 years old.
By his dog poops too - 14/9/2018 20:22
Today, I came home after a month to dog poop everywhere. Not because my dog is untrained, but because my brother is too lazy to clean the backyard and there’s nowhere left for them to poop. FML
cheesebond Say more :
OP here. For everyone wondering the grass was also left uncut so the backyard wasn’t completely filled, but the parts that don’t have 2 foot tall grass were. We have 2 dogs and he was left to maintain the house while we were gone which was actually a month and a half closer to 2 months. Also having him finally clean it wasn’t an option because I asked him to the first second and third day before I...
By Parking princess - 5/9/2018 10:27 - United States - Curwensville
Today, at work as a meter maid, I had a man scream at me. He had a handicapped license plate on his 3-wheel motorcycle and said he could "park in any handicapped spot and not have to pay the meter". He wouldn't believe he was wrong, even after the police chief backed me up. FML
kdragonrose Say more :
Op here. To clarify, I did NOT give this jerk a ticket for parking in the handicapped spot. He got the ticket for not paying the meter. Handicapped parking meters in my area are painted blue. He cussed me out because he felt having a handicapped license plate entitled him to not have to pay the meter. I told him "why would they have a meter there if you didn't have to pay it. It's even painted blue?"...
By someone something - 28/8/2018 18:31
Today, I was taking a shower when I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and broke my nose by slamming my face in the open toilet. Thank you, epilepsy. FML
I usually do keep a positive attitude because a negative one is just gonna bring you down. But this is the first time I've ever broken anything and I now have to use a shower chair because my parents and neurologist think it's too dangerous for me to stand. Also, someone needs to be in the bathroom so we can talk and make sure I'm not seizing
By ViviMage - 28/8/2018 12:18 - United States - Paulsboro
Today, my application to join the navy was rejected due to having cancer in the past. It would seem my sister applied, we see the same doctor, and the office assistant pulled the wrong chart to submit the past medical history on because she forgot her ABCs. I was rejected before I ever applied. FML
ViviMage Say more :
I/OP didn't submit anything! My sister did but it was rejected because my medical file was attached, and I had cancer. If I have seizures daily and get seasick in a daily basis with a permanent balance impairment issue, why would I join the Navy?
By real life problems - 27/8/2018 23:11
Today, at the gas station, a stranger screamed at me, pushed me, and slapped my bag of chips to the ground. After he stomped them, he explained why he did it. It was because I opened the bag upside down. FML
OP here. So just to give some more information.. I open bags of chips upside down on purpose because I know it bothers people, ( it bothers my ocd too but it's funny ). The guy that slapped my chips down was actually a friend of a friend that I didnt recognize. My friend was inside laughing his ass off.. From the looks on peoples faces, they were horrified which is what made it even funnier. Btw yes...
By crazycatlady1890 - 27/8/2018 21:46
Today, my future mother-in-law sent a nasty email to my mother, an angry phone call to my fiancé, and threatened to boycott his graduation and the wedding. Why? I didn't respond immediately to her emails about card boxes for the wedding. Card boxes. FML
OP here... thanks for the comments! My fiancé did essentially tell her to shove it. She did apologize (after missing his masters graduation), and he still hasn’t quite forgiven her. As for what this means for the future... luckily, my fiancé is NOT a mamas boy in the least, and is happy seeing her once or twice a year. He, my mother, and I have a bet going on what sets her off next. Personally, my...
By MallowMistress - 22/8/2018 13:16 - United States - Ochelata
Today, I woke up to find my fiancé in the pool with a topless woman he had told me "not to worry about". FML
MallowMistress Say more :
Hey! OP here! I am kind of amazed this got posted! But it was a pool at our house, yes we are still engaged after much arguing, crying and confrontation. Nothing happened, but there was talk of them possibly being more until she realized she didnt want to ruin her own relationship over soemthing like that, because he had told her we were open so he can do whatever. (We had been at one time,...
By I can't stand leg puns - 20/8/2018 21:11 - United Kingdom - Feltham
Today, a woman shouted at me to give up my disabled seat on the bus because she wanted to sit down. She wasn't physically disabled, wasn't nearly old enough to need it, and the bus was half empty anyway. I guess my prosthetic leg doesn't entitle me to a priority seat. FML
Hi all! OP here! So, to start off, thanks for all the support (and sorry for firing off last time!). To the one or two of you who think I should be able to stand, first: the disabled seating is there for a reason; second: when you're standing on the bus you use your toes to help you balance a bit, and if you can't move toes on one leg it's a bit difficult. Third: My leg's basically a metal pole with...
By Bikeless - 20/8/2018 18:48
Today, four kids strolled into my building, asked the receptionist where the bikes were kept, and walked out with four bikes twice their size, including mine which had a flat tire. The receptionist waved them goodbye. FML
dino-rex Say more :
I did watch... the security footage afterwards. It was actually my residential building. It was Saturday, I was out of town, and when I got home, the management kindly informed us that the idiot receptionist did nothing but watch when the kids took the bikes. And when I say kids, I mean KIDS, they were no more than 12! They very obviously did not live there (residents all know where the bikes are because...
By swervelol - 15/8/2018 05:46
Today, I realized what I thought was bad lighting and poor TV brightness was actually night blindness. I found out while driving to work at my new night shift job. FML
swervelol Say more :
Wow this got published hi! I'm the OP and I'm here to clear up a few things! Yes I haven't driven at night due to working full time at my previous job at a store that closed at 7 pm every night (it stays light until very late in Montana) I also haven't been out late due to long shifts at work and recently moving to a new city which has heightened the severity of my night blindness because I am unfamiliar...
By fish mom - 13/8/2018 21:50 - United States - Odenton
Today, at 2:30 in the morning, my brand new fish tank cracked and spilled ten gallons of water into my carpet. FML
fishyrael Say more :
This is my FML and YES THE FISH ARE OKAY. Well, mostly. It drained too quickly for me to save the carpet, which has since been ripped up to let the subfloor dry, but not too quickly for me to get them out into cups. My betta was incredibly stressed and grumpy, and the catfish were in a panic and huddled together. The snail didn't seem to notice anything was going on at the time, but has since passed...
By sadCowboysfan - 13/8/2018 10:29 - Canada - Ajax
Today, there was a swim competition at my college. During my race, my speedo started slipping. Not wanting to lose for the team, I kept going even after it came off. After my turn, I had to wait on the deck, totally naked, because coaches can’t help the swimmers. FML
sadCowboysfan Say more :
OP here to answer some questions: yes I am in college and over 18, yes I stood on the deck totally naked (I’m not ashamed if people see my penis), yes there was MAJOR shrinkage and most importantly we won! My school newspaper asked me afterwards if I’d let them use the photos they took on their website (provided they blurred out my junk). It was pretty embarrassing but it wasn’t too bad cause we won
By boopingsnoot - 8/8/2018 18:54
Today, I was entertaining my 12-year-old cousin in the yard when two of my cats chased down and killed a baby bunny right in front of us. FML
boopingsnoot Say more :
So, the second half of the story: Cousin got the bunny away from the cats before it was completely dead, and when I couldn’t fix her “new pet” she wanted to sit and watch it die. And take it to another relative’s house and bury it in *their* yard. Took a while to convince her to leave it in a “safe place” (bushes where my cats like to hang out, so they could finish the job). Hey, saves me money on...
By Anonymous - 23/7/2018 06:39
Today, it has been eight years since I politely declined a date with a "nice guy." How have I kept track of it this long? He has been stalking and harassing me since then. FML
Hi, OP here! this is my submission lol... I've made police reports but you know how well that goes lmao. He messages me every few months w new profiles. I've moved cities 4 times, changed my number 3 times, changed my name(hi I'm a trans man), changed my email, everything. At the time he first asked me out when I was 15, I was happily in a long term relationship. At the time he threatened to kill my...
By catwithwatermelononhead - 7/7/2018 19:06
Today, on a freelancer app I use to do short-term gigs to find long-term clients for my company, a rude, demanding client dumped me for a "more experienced, successful" company. They sent me a link, saying I could learn a thing or two. I own the company. FML
OP here. No exciting reply to the wannabe client, I opted to only politely declined to work with them. Glad I did because a colleague did take them on and they changed the project repeatedly and refused to pay for the work. Bullet dodged, but now I wish I had been snarky.
By Sorry, son! - 2/7/2018 07:24
Today, I accidentally walked in on my son giving head to his husband. FML
G_15948832 Say more :
Hi, I am the person who wrote this, and I wanted to cover something up. My son and his husband were visiting me and my wife to help out with cleaning the house, so they were staying over for a bit. I didn't think to knock on his door because I thought he was alone, since he earlier told me that his husband was out to get some supplies since we were running low. Obviously I didn't think he was back...
By Emma Eisnor - 18/6/2018 06:14
Today, my boyfriend tried to be nice and change my oil, but he accidentally emptied all my transmission fluid into the pan. When he poured it back into my car, we realized he never put the cap back on and all my transmission fluid was poured all over the ground. FML
Emma Eisnor Say more :
Yay my second FML posted! He was trying to do something nice. I wasn’t really that mad. He drove to the store and bought me more transmission fluid so we were fine. He’s a sweetheart, my oil never got changed though haha.
By real life problems - 18/6/2018 06:10

Drugs are bad, mkay?

Today, I realized my girlfriend was taking my pain meds from my shoulder surgery. She says it shouldn't hurt after 2 days. I don't have any left and can't get a refill for a week. She took them just for fun. FML
OP here, yes of course i broke up with her over it, which she still thinks I'm over reacting to. I ended up calling for more pain pills but they wouldn't approve me any more that fast. I ended up just dealing with the pain on my own while being bitched out for being selfish.
By reyah49 - 8/6/2018 06:00

Spring is so great, right?

Today, after years of going through hell to get my tonsils removed as an adult, I found out that they were my first line of defense against allergies. I used to have a very light reaction. Now my doc is making personal calls to get me to an allergist immediately. FML
reyah49 Say more :
OP here.. my "years of hell" were years of having strep throat, tonsillitis, etc at least 4 times a year, usually more. You cant go to work with this more often than not so i was constantly missing school and then work. No one outright said "I'm not taking your tonsils out", they'd just treat the symptoms and move on. Finally i asked to be sent to an ENT and there was no doubt in his mind that they...
By I'veRunOuttaPatience - 7/6/2018 20:42
Today, instead of having until the end of June to find another apartment because my landlord is selling the place, I was told that the buyer paid cash and I now have 10 days to get out. I'm a flight attendant and will be out of town for 8 of those days. FML
There's no formal agreement. The owner is a pilot, and he set up this townhouse as a "crashpad" which is common for flight attendants to use because we 1) get paid very little and it's cheap 2) dont mind sharing space because we are literally gone 70% of the month and 3) pay month to month since most of us dont know how long we will be in our current bases. He told us he decided to close the crashpad...
By Symphoniaes - 22/5/2018 20:29
Today, I got fired from my job as a florist. Why? Because my boss made me come in with a stomach virus, and I threw up on the flowers in front of customers. FML
Symphoniaes Say more :
Unfortunately in my state they don’t even need a reason for termination. :/ It’s fine though, I was only there temporarily to help with Mother’s Day and I have other resources available to me! ^~^